This paper is a personal meditation on the extent to which gender defines--and does not define--the author's life. The paper is written from the perspective of a straight male who grew up in Russia. It discusses his participation in the sport of boxing and how this has affected his perceptions of masculinity and femininity. It is written in the first person.
Gender reflection: On identifying with a particular gender
Until I took a class in critical theory, I never gave much thought to my gender. I am sure that some of this is by virtue of being a straight male. I have female friends who have experienced discrimination or harassment in school and at work by virtue of not being male. I do not believe I have experienced such direct prejudice as a result of my gender. Also, physical fitness is a very important part of my life, and many of my female friends and girlfriends have been very passionate about working out, yet unlike me they have been told not to lift weights or box because this would give them 'bulky' and masculine-looking muscles (which is not true). Obviously, I have never faced such discrimination based upon my interests or because I look strong.
I have come to understand that men -- just like women -- can feel compelled to perform their gender, or can feel restricted by gender stereotypes, although this form of discrimination tends to be more informal than the type of discrimination exhibited against women. I grew up in Russia, and there it is extremely important for a man to 'be a man' -- not to show emotion, to seem strong, and never admit to making a mistake. This is somewhat ironic because I know many very strong Russian women, including my mother, but the overall message in Russian culture is one of male dominance.
In Russian culture, many men tend to expect to 'rule the roost' and to make most of the decisions in the household when a couple gets married. However, my mother was very much an equal in her partnership with my father, and I was always exposed to positive images of very strong women in my family when I was growing up. I believe this has affected my perceptions of women in a very beneficial way. I have never seen women as innately inferior to men, unlike some Russian (and American) men I know.
My anecdotal observations about masculinity and Russian culture are confirmed by people who have studied the region: "Supported by nationalist youth groups and glorified in certain pop culture productions, the escalating power of the church and state represent for many a re-masculinization of the fatherland. As Russia regains its virility, the boundaries that define ideal masculine subjectivity are redefined in particular and consequential ways. Gay men, as well as men who opt for fatherhood or other 'sensitive' careers over more 'manly' options, are denigrated as scapegoats for society's problems. Although alternative voices exist, they are oftentimes stifled by the increasingly authoritarian state apparatus" (Nowakowski 1). Being masculine in a particular kind of way is equated with being patriotic in Russia, even though many Russian men struggle to embody this ideal: they may have trouble finding jobs that enable them to be the main breadwinners for their families, for example. Even straight men who want to embody the ideal of the masculine Russian may have difficulties in doing so, because of the current social and economic pressures they face.
As a straight male without a family, I have not faced discrimination for being insufficiently masculine like some Russian men, but sometimes I feel the pressure to perform my masculinity. For example, when men go out drinking, being able to consume large quantities of alcohol is considered manly, and someone who does not is looked down upon. Because I try to stay physically fit and love to play sports, the drinking and partying lifestyle is not compatible with my personal goals. But many of my male Russian friends do not understand this.
As a straight man, it was interesting for me to see the video "Dude, you're a fag," in which the author Dalton Conley noted that the epithet 'fag' was not about same-sex desire but about not being appropriately masculine. While this may be true in the United States (and based upon my experience in the U.S., I am inclined to agree with the author), in Russia, because of the influence of the Russian Orthodox Church and the overall culture of Russia, I do not think this is true -- there is a great deal of anger and very real homophobia in Russian society that is specifically directed against gay people.
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