Developing nonverbal communication skills for interpersonal effectiveness

Nonverbal Communication Skill

Although there is no consensus about the exact definition of "nonverbal communication" among experts, it is generally regarded as any communication conveyed through body movements (the "body language") and the intonations and emphasis that are given to words (also called the "paralinguistics"). The term

"nonverbal Communication" may itself be relatively new but its importance has long been realized. Martin Luther, the 16th century protestant reformer, often advised his followers, "not to watch a person's mouth but his fists." (Quoted by Bull, 2001) Charles Darwin discovered commonalities in facial expressions among humans and animals in his 1872 study, The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, which is still read with interest among researchers. In the present day, nonverbal communication evokes the interest of a broad spectrum of academic disciplines including psychology, sociology, anthropology, communications, and linguistics, and has a similarly wide scope. Most research in the field of nonverbal communication, however, has focused more on the process rather than the skills aspect of the subject. In this paper about nonverbal communication skills, I shall discuss the following questions:

Why learn about nonverbal communication?

What are the challenges of interpreting nonverbal messages?

Why is it important to understand nonverbal communication code?

How does nonverbal communication help us improve our interpersonal communication skills?

Why Learn About Nonverbal Communication?

Although nonverbal communication is the first thing that a human being learns and practices, before he has learnt to use oral or written communication, its importance is often not fully recognized in human communication. This is despite the findings of a famous study carried out by Professor Albert Mehrabian of UCLA in the 1960s which indicated that people's attitudes and meanings are communicated more through body language and facial expression (55%) and through the way words are spoken -- also called paralinguistics (38%) than by the spoken word (only 7%). Even if the study exaggerates the importance of nonverbal communication somewhat, most experts now agree that it carries great importance in our everyday lives. Who can belittle the importance of a glance, a meaningful stare, a smile, a frown or a provocative body movement, especially if they involve the interaction between people of the opposite sex? Several common phrases in the English language too recognize the importance of non-verbal communication, e.g., "a picture is worth a thousand words" and "actions speak louder than words." Other body-oriented phrases such as "keeping one at arm's length," "giving someone the cold shoulder" or to "grit your teeth" are also indicative of the recognition that body language plays an important role in the communication process. (Trimby, 1988)

Just why we should learn about non-verbal communication should be obvious by now: knowing the principles of nonverbal communication can be extremely useful for us in our everyday lives and help us in communicating effectively with others and to understand people better. Possessing nonverbal skills help us in forging better relations in our personal lives and are instrumental in successful everyday social interaction.

In the business world, learning about the nuances of nonverbal communication is doubly important. For example, managers can better understand the behavior and feelings of their employees by observing their "body language" and non-verbal mannerisms than by simply listening to what they say. (Ibid.) Moreover, managers who are well-aware of the nonverbal communication techniques can use them to effectively communicate with their employees. It is for this reason that students of business communication are often taught to "listen with their eyes as well as their ears" and to refine and hone their ability to "listen" at a deeper level by closely observing the behavior of speakers.

It is a particularly difficult subject to study mainly because of the fact that at least some of the nonverbal communication may be unintentional or occur at a subconscious level. The development of sophisticated recording equipment in recent times, however, has made the study of the discipline easier as it is now possible to observe patterns of meaningful body movements through video and film recordings that are unobservable to the naked eye.

What are the Challenges of Interpreting Nonverbal Messages?

While it is important that we should learn about nonverbal communication, there are formidable challenges that face us in interpreting nonverbal messages accurately.

For example, some people may be sending a positive message "verbally" while their "non-verbal" gesture may be indicating a negative message could be confusing for the receiver who would have to decide whether to believe his ears or his eyes. For example, the boss may say that she is free to talk to you about a raise that you may have been seeking, but her nonverbal "signals" may indicate otherwise. A person who is intermittently glancing at his or her watch during a conversation indicates that he/she would rather end the conversation even though the verbal conversation may be indicating otherwise.

When learning about interpretations of non-verbal actions, one should be wary about interpretations that are too narrow and specific. It is often useful to look for more than one sign about a nonverbal message or to make certain that the non-verbal message that you are observing or interpreting is reinforced by a verbal message or some other facet of the nonverbal message before arriving at a definite conclusion.

Cultural differences also constitute a formidable barrier in interpreting nonverbal messages. A gesture or action which is generally perceived as a positive gesture in a certain culture may represent the complete opposite in another culture. For example, in some Asian and even European countries it is perfectly normal for business acquaintances to stand quite close to one another while conversing in a business situation. Such business-like distance would be viewed as "intimate" indicating sexual interest or aggressiveness in North America. (Robbins 2002) Another important culturally different aspect of a common non-verbal gesture is the appropriateness or otherwise of "eye contact." In most Western cultures, particularly the United States, making of eye contact is considered to be very important. Americans perceive people who do not make eye contact during conversation as evasive and untrustworthy; they are often considered to be hiding something. Most American business communication books recommend it as vital for success during interviews and during making of speeches or business presentations. Making direct eye contact in several Eastern and African cultures, on the other hand, is considered to be extremely rude and insulting -- especially if the people involved are different in status, power or age. Children in many Asian and Latin American cultures are taught to show respect to authority figures by avoiding to look into their eyes. Teachers in the U.S. classroom would probably consider such behavior by children as insolent or not paying attention. A smile, which is generally an expression of happiness or pleasure in most cultures may be used as a mask while dealing with an unpleasant situation in some Asian cultures. This may lead to completely misleading interpretation by those not familiar with the cultural difference. (Dunn, 1999)

Hand gestures too may send entirely different messages across different cultures. The "V" sign, for example, made with the index and middle fingers of one's hand with the palm outward represents "victory" in the U.S. And most other Western cultures. In other cultures it may mean just "two." If the gesture is made with the palm of the hand facing inwards, it may even be construed as a vile insult. Another common gesture in the United States -- "the thumbs up" sign -- which means "okay" is considered to be extremely obscene in Iran and is the approximate equivalent of "screw you." Interpreting nonverbal messages is, therefore, a culturally sensitive task that should be handled with care.

How Does Nonverbal Communication Help Us Improve Our Interpersonal Communication Skills?

Communication is one of the most important human activities as most people spend a large percentage of their time communicating with others in one way or another. A number of studies show that people working in organizations spend as much as 70% of their time in some form of communication. Since nonverbal communication constitutes a major part of the total communication process, there is little doubt that people who score high in their ability to communicate nonverbally would be skilled interpersonal communicators as well.

Nonverbal communication skill is important in almost all facets of our lives: ranging from social encounters with strangers, business meetings in the workplace to long-term relationships such as in friendships and marriages. It is the key to success in our social life and psychological well-being since communication skills in general and nonverbal communication skills in particular, determine to a great extent the quality and quantity of our interpersonal relationships.

At the same time, it is important to consider nonverbal communication skills as part of the overall communication process. A speech maker can read out or deliver an extremely high quality verbal speech (that may be written for him by skilled professional speech writers) but he/she can never leave a positive impression on the audience if he/she cannot reinforce the message with the appropriate nonverbal cues. In the absence of such reinforcement, the speaker shall be perceived as a fake or an insincere manipulator. Research shows that when the verbal message of a sender contradicts with the person's nonverbal vibes, the receiver is more likely to trust the nonverbal signals. (Dulek and Fielden 1990)

Nonverbal communication is particularly important in creating "first impressions" both in social as well as business situations. It has been clearly established that people often make sweeping and often definitive assessment of other persons by making use of a limited sample of their behavior based on their first encounter. This aspect of human psychology is extremely important from the point-of-view of people who are desperate to leave a good impression on their first date or in a job interview. Since nonverbal communication plays the most crucial role in creating the "first impression," which usually occurs even before people start to speak verbally, the advantage a skilled nonverbal communicator has over a non-skilled person in such situations is obvious. Quoting a number of authoritative studies on the issue of first encounters, Riggio conclusively states that "there is some evidence that emotionally expressive, and nonverbally skilled, individuals are more desirable dating partners" and that "persons with nonverbal encoding abilities are evaluated more favorably by others in initial encounters." (Riggio, 1992, p. 11) This attractiveness to strangers in first encounters is attributable to the "encoding" skill of the individual which some researchers say is the same as what is commonly refer to as "charisma." In other words charismatic people are no more than people having good "encoding" skills. Decoding skills play just as important a role as the encoding skills in the first encounters since most of the nonverbal cues get decoded rapidly in the first encounter -- leading to the first impression. The third and final building block of the nonverbal communication skill -- the controlling or regulating function -- also comes into play by preventing the "expressive" person from going overboard with his 'expressiveness.' Those who lack the 'controlling' function tend to lose their initial positive impression as they are soon viewed as frivolous or shallow.

Conclusion

Nonverbal communication skill is just as important a feature in the overall process of communication as verbal skill. Although largely neglected in the past, the field of nonverbal communication now occupies an important part of research among psychologists, sociologists, linguists and business mangers among others. All of them recognize the importance of the subject and agree that it plays an important role in human interaction. While stressing its importance, it is also appropriate to recognize that nonverbal communication is difficult to interpret and one should be skeptical about simplistic theories about the subject. There is no doubt, however, that nonverbal communication skills help us to improve our interpersonal communication skills as we saw in our essay.