Day of Resistance

Psychology - Resistance

RESISTANCE EXPERIMENT

My day of resistance began unsuccessfully, because I greeted my neighbors in the elevator with a polite "Hello" and then held the door open for a woman as we left the building. It had not occurred to me that resisting everything would include the natural social pleasantries and gestures of politeness that in which one normally engages automatically. In retrospect, I don't think I would have been able to do anything differently, at least not with respect to anybody I expected to encounter regularly.

Immediately, I resolved to do my best to resist all normal elements of social interaction, at least with strangers.

My first opportunity cam up when I had lunch at a restaurant. The server greeted me very warmly and asked how my day had been going. Determined to satisfy the goals of this experiment, I had decided ahead of time to avoid exchanging any pleasantries with strangers in every circumstance possible. Instead of responding to the waitresses politely, I completely ignored her friendly conversation and simply said "May I order please?"

Her face changed immediately and she actually apologized for asking me how my day was. On my end, it was a very uncomfortable feeling to change the tone of our interaction, especially when she was obviously so nice. Already, I wanted to abandon the experiment.

As soon as I received my bill, I realized that I should never have eaten out on the day of this experiment because resisting everything also meant resisting the social convention to leave the waitress a tip. The moment I realized my dilemma, I felt my face flush and my heart rate increase dramatically as I considered my options: on one hand, I didn't know the waitress the way I knew my neighbors and tipping is not legally required the way paying the check itself is; on the other hand, the waitress obviously depends on tips for her living, she hadn't done anything to justify getting stiffed, and I knew it was the kind of thing that could easily ruin her day.

A decided to satisfy the requirements of the experiment, but the only way I could bring myself to actually stiff the waitress was to wait for her to leave the dining area and then pay my check as quickly as possible, leaving no tip at all. I realized that I could come back the next day, apologize by explaining the situation of my experiment, and compensating her for her (rightfully) hurt feelings by giving her twice the amount of the tip I would normally have left today.

Even with that knowledge, I approached the cashier feeling almost as thought I were skipping out on the check, not just the tip. The cashier seemed to notice how uncomfortable I was because she adopted a very soothing tone, probably thinking that I was just unusually shy, which only compounded my discomfort. I was extremely relieved to get out of the restaurant before my waitress discovered that I had stiffed her.

After that experience, I felt like I wanted to just spend the rest of the day at home, but I forced myself to continue with a semi-normal day to fulfill the requirements of the experiment. However, because I anticipated some of the uncomfortable situations that might arise if I went to my normal gym, I decided to take the opportunity to use a guest pass for a different gym that I had been carrying around for a while.

When I entered the gym, I completely ignored the polite greeting by the front desk staff and just slid the guest pass across the glass without saying a word. I was directed to a membership consultant in a small office and when the gentleman who introduced himself as "Mike" extended his hand to shake mine, I said that I was getting over a cold and didn't want to give it to him by shaking his hand. Mike thanked me, but from the way he looked at me, it seemed to me that he didn't seem to believe me and immediately assumed I was some sort of weirdo. Mike explained that the guest pass would allow me to use the gym for the day and he asked me to sign a liability waiver. Instead of complying, I asked why I had to sign it.

Mike replied that it was "required by corporate" and that I couldn't use the gym unless I signed it. Since I would have had to leave otherwise, I did sign it, but by then I was almost too uncomfortable to bother working out.