We played basketball and we played a lot of soccer. We did art projects together and we sometimes just watched cartoons. Basically we enjoyed a lot of laughter and social bonding. They learned as much about me as I did about them, and we created our own little community right there. I acted as a civic-minded professional with the children, because I understood my role and responsibility as their mentor. Before I started volunteering I acted as a concerned citizen, but this work transformed my self-image. I had never realized what social service was until I started working with the refugees. The work seemed so natural that I knew I could translate anything I did professionally into social service. In an individualistic society, community service is an anomaly. We have a hard time understanding why someone would want to work for free to help others, when they could spend that time watching television or playing video games. We learn that helping others can easily backfire and so we should keep to ourselves as much as possible. The result is a sick state of social affairs. As Bellah and his co-authors describe, the United States prides itself on its individualist philosophy. The cowboy mentality, the fascination with individual heroes and the cult of personality are all fine in small doses. However, many problems in American society can, as the authors argue, be traced to an overemphasis on individualism and an under-emphasis on selflessness.

Having met and interacted with children from Africa and raised with African values, I fully understand and believe what Bellah et al. are saying. Watching the children play, I noticed that they genuinely loved each other as if they were all brothers and sisters. They teased each other like siblings too, not worried too much about hurting each others' feelings and therefore also not taking things too personally. I compared their interactions with the way I was raised...

In school, the children form cliques almost from the first day. They view each other as enemies sometimes. The strange thing is that the school system itself encourages unhealthy competition and antagonism. As a fan of sports and a staunch believer in the way competitive sports can enhance character development, I have no problem at all with competition itself.
As a human being, though, I know that the ways schools operate is destructive for individual character and for the character of our communities. We learn to mistrust, not trust. Our parents warn us, rightly, of strangers. The news bombards us with images of how bad the world is and how we need guns to protect us from violence. Essentially we are given many mixed messages about social service. On the one hand we celebrate the Mother Theresas of the world and on the other hand we make those people seem unusual. Really, social service should be a part of everyday life. We should start thinking like civic-minded professionals, town fathers, concerned citizens, or professional activists by the time we are five, just like the refugee children I worked with. These kids have gone through more terrible experiences than many Americans will in their entire lives and they conduct themselves with grace and sensitivity and genuine caring for others. I could also perceive these healthy habits of heart in their parents, which leads me to believe that Bellah and his co-authors are correct about their assessments of American culture.

Social service has to come from the heart. Children might seem egotistical but they are not. If children are socialized to care about their fellow beings they can grow up to become town fathers, concerned citizens, civic-minded professionals, or professional activists. No matter what career course they choose, all children can become service-oriented just as I hope to, no matter what businesses ventures I undertake.