Raising Children in the U.S.

Raising Children in the U.S.

Raising the Future: Interactions Between Society and Children as Indicators for an Unhealthy Culture in the United States

Negative Roles for Children in U.S. Culture? Implications from Perceptions, Interactions, and Parenting Styles

Raising children is a complex multi-faceted experience, bringing about many issues such as discipline, communication, and respect. There are many issues arising in the parent/child relationship out of societal expectations and demands; many power dynamics are simply a result of this. Autonomy and identity are yet another complex piece of the social demands placed on children in the U.S. culture. In the United States, children are expected to mature faster then ever, yet they are often chided for such growth. For instance, children are expected to learn how to take care of themselves at a very early age, managing personal and academic needs while parents are working. When children engage in certain adult behaviors early, such as sexual intercourse and becoming parents themselves, they are looked down upon. In addition, children often face the pressure of parents and society to grow up in terms of intelligence and scholastic learning. The advent of toddler and even infant learning toys such as the popular Baby Einstein brand suggest the importance of impressing success on children at an early age. Here again children are given mixed message regarding whether they are supposed to remain children or grow into young adults. Other issues that are often faced when analyzing the role of children in United States' society include the role of parents, who often do not serve as role models for their children or serve as poor models. Diversity, too, is another aspect with which children in the U.S. society must deal. Different parenting styles, attitudes towards children, cultures, and priorities intersect at social events and locations where many children are present, such as school, places of worship, and community functions. Perhaps one of the single most important indications of a healthy culture is in how the majority relate to, interact with, and raise children; therefore an analysis of how a culture approaches children plays a key role in the diagnosis and healing of an unhealthy culture, which can be assessed through the areas of family and diversity.

Perception

In the United States, children are perceived differently by various groups and subgroups. A study of the view of children within the family, as well as how they are perceived by the society in general, can shed light on the topic of the role of children in the United States. In the family, children are viewed differently depending on the parenting situation and family type. For instance, children who live with both parents are more likely to be perceived as an asset to the family then are children who come from single-parent households or those who live with neither of their parents. This can be seen through studies that suggest "the type of parents…in a child's household can have strong effects on their well-being" (Child Trends Databank, 2008). Children who live with single parents "are…more likely to be exposed to high levels of aggravated parenting" (Child Trend Databank, 2008). Thus, it can be assumed that children who live in homes with both of their parents tend to be perceived as a positive asset to the family, while children living in single-parent homes may be viewed more as a social and economic drain than an asset, as the Child Trends Databank (2008) suggests that singe-parent families are likely to experience economic difficulties. A decrease from 69% to 67% in the number of children living with both parents (Child Trends Databank, 2008) suggests that a large proportion of children are, therefore, being viewed in a negative or burdensome manner rather than in a positive way.

Children are also viewed differently within families from different cultures or families of different definitions. The definition of a family is not as succinct as the one that might be found in the dictionary. Instead, families can be interpreted as those who live in the same house, those who are related through genealogy, people who lend each other support, or people who are given the title of "family" by the state ("Marriage & Family Professes," n.d). Because these different kinds of families exist, it is easy to understand how they might perceive children differently. Families might regard children in the typical way encouraged by their cultures or religion, or families who are brought together by something other than the traditional bond of marriage and physical childbirth might view children as either more positive or more negative depending on the circumstances that brought the family together. While the honoring of different types of families and diversity can be seen as a progressive marker, it is also true that a culture that can view its children in a negative light is one whose sociological interactions must be questioned.

Outside of the family, children in society are perceived in a variety of ways, depending on the background of the society members. For instance, the American feminist movement redefined how women viewed children. Rebecca Walker (2008), daughter of noted feminist and author Alice Walker, tells one story of how a woman's feminist views can impact how she perceives children. Alice Walker felt "enslaved" by children, viewing them as burdensome and the source of women's frustration and inability to get ahead. This view can be substantiated by the prevalence of abortion and birth control in the United States, as well as the fact that reproductive management is still generally viewed as the women's responsibility. Thus, women may view children as burdens and getting pregnant as a mistake. Rebecca Walker (2008), however, shares a view that is far different from her mother's, as she perceives children in a positive way and sees parenthood as rewarding. Further, Rebecca Walker (2008) also suggests another way society perceives children when she discusses how busy her parents were during her own childhood -- so busy they sent her to school at a young age, even making her walk instead of taking her. Walker (2008) writes that they expected her to grow up quickly. Thus, some members of perceive children as annoying or burdensome until they grow up. Still others encourage children to grow because they perceive them as their hope and future.

Interaction

Just as they are perceived differently by different groups, adults in the United States interact with children in different ways. Adults can choose to interact with children in several ways, all of which fall on a dichotomy ranging from neglect to extreme interaction, which can either be positive or negative. Some adults choose to neglect children, simply paying no attention to them or by refusing to meet their needs. Others interact with them at a sufficient level, but show no real interest. Still others interact with them a great deal, taking a personal interest in their lives, or going so far as to be overly involved in their lives, pushing them. Child abuse can even fall on this end of the dichotomy. According to Child Help, a non-profit organization that seeks to eradicate child abuse, more than four children die each day from child abuse, while around 906,000 children suffer from abuse and neglect each year. Very young children suffer many of the fatalities that occur from child abuse and neglect; they are often less than four years of age (Child Help, 2009). This type of interaction has very serious repercussions for children, as many children who are abused go on to grow into adults who do not contribute to society. Large percentages of prison populations report childhood abuse, and those who suffer from child abuse are also often the sufferers of psychological disorders. Thus, interactions with children are diverse in the United States, although some of those interactions are less than beneficial for the children.

Parenting Styles

A third area in which society can be evaluated in regards to its dealings with children is parenting. Just like people in the United States culture perceive children differently and interact with them differently based on their backgrounds, parenting styles in the United States vary greatly based on a variety of factors, including cultural variables. Thus, children are raised in a variety of ways in the United States. For instance, while Vandermass-Peler (2002) notes that children in all cultures play, the bulk of his argument suggests that parents from different cultures take on very different roles in that play. Some parents play with their children, while others leave that task up to the child's friends and siblings (Vandermass-Peler, 2002). While Vandermass-Peler (2002) found that many parents "provide support and guidance for children's play," he notes that this support can take the form of encouraging play, watching play, providing time and an area to play. Cultures play another important role in parenting styles in the United States, especially for parents who are trying to keep their cultures alive in the United States. Parents may raise their children in the manner that they were raised in their culture, requiring children to attend religious services, keep certain traditions, and obey rules that their classmates and friends do not have to obey. This often creates a frustrating situation within the home, as children and parents may clash over these ideas.

Of course, cultural issues are not the only differences in parenting in the United States. Phegley (2009) states that parents can easily identify what they want in their relationships with their children -- they wan the best. The best, she argues, "is entirely up to an individual's perception" (para. 2). Thus, parents often have different styles of parenting. These differences are often based upon differences in views about authority, respect, rewards, punishments, formalities, etc. While some argue that differences in parenting styles can benefit children, they can also become a source of tension within the family (Phegley, 2009). Because of this parents who have different styles of parenting might actually harm their children though fighting with each other about the best ways to parent. Thus, parenting styles in the United States further reflect the negative action and tension within the family, although they do allow for diversity and a variety of choices.

By examining how children are perceived in U.S. society, how adults interact with them, and different parenting styles or ways in which children are raised, many generalizations can be made. First, the observant student of sociology will note the drastic role that diversity and culture plays in the U.S. society. Second, it becomes clear that children play an important role in U.S. society, in that they constitute the future and hope of the society. Third, one can determine that the role of children in U.S. society has many negative aspects.

II. Implications for Unhealthy Relations in U.S. Culture

The fact that children's roles in the United States' culture and society have many negative aspects has implications for marriage and family studies, parenting workshops, and even education. But these serious problems are more far-reaching than simply affection sociological and psychological topics related to children. Instead, the way that society interacts with its children has major suggestions for unhealthy relations in U.S. culture. Specifically, the negative aspects of the roles that children play in U.S. society and culture have similarly negative implications for community development. But what is an unhealthy culture? Cultures vary greatly, having different values and goals, so how can one say that any culture is unhealthy? In order to determine what an unhealthy culture might look like, it is best to think of the United States as a business, and examine it the way that a business would consider its culture and the benefits or losses derived from it. The Educators Support Network (2007) defines culture as personality as synonymous. For an organization, specifically an academic organization, the Educators Support Network give the following indicators of unhealthy culture: low morale, unrealistic goals, little support from administration, poor relations among members of the organization, uncertainty, prejudice or lack of diversity, staleness (Educators Support Network, 2007). If one thinks of the United States as an organization -- whose goal is to be profitable -- many of these factors remain applicable. Of course, the United States' society's primary goal is not to be profitable in an economic sense, but instead to be profitable by raising children who go forth to perpetuate, grow, and progress the culture. Thus, an unhealthy culture in the United States displays the following similar characteristics, adapted from the Educators Support Network (2007). An unhealthy culture in the United States is suggestive of unhappiness or sadness among members, produces members with a lack of goals or motivation, provides no or a weak support network for its growing members, promotes a sense of poor relationships or an inability to interact with one another, has an uncertain future, uses diversity in a negative manner, and does not change or progress rapidly.

It is easy to see how the raising of children and society's interactions with children shape these characteristics. As the children who are maltreated in today's society will become the society of the future, the implications of society's poor interactions with its children also indicate a cycle of unhealthy relations that will be carried from one generation to another unless it is stopped. By considering two societal areas -- the family and diversity -- the implications of society's poor interactions with its children on unhealthy relations in U.S. culture can easily be observed.

Family

The way in which society interacts with children in the U.S. suggests the breakdown of the family, which is certainly indicative of unhealthy relations in U.S. culture. The way that parents and non-parents perceive and interact with children implies that family life and children are no longer of great importance or desire in United States society, suggesting that families are no longer being formed with the frequency that they once were. Rebecca Walker (2008) points out that the feminist movement has pushed many American women into their later years without a family or children. These women do not desire a family or children, so family breakdown is perpetuated by an increasing number of people who do not see it as desirable. When families do form, the same attitudes are often present, causing children to be viewed as burdens, and perpetuating child abuse and neglect. As the Child Trends Databank (2008) suggests that many children do not live with both parents and that child abuse incidents are higher in these cases, evidence that supports the breakdown of the family is found. Parenting styles and different ways of raising children also suggest the breakdown of the family, as tension among parents leads to an unsupportive environment for children. Further, parents who worry obsessively over their children create tension in a similar way, suggesting, again, the breakdown of the family. In some families, the obsession regarding risk and harm that might come to children is so great that children are unable to achieve any sort of autonomy ("Seminar 3 Theme: Child-rearing in a risk society," 2007). Thus, the interactions between society and children in the way that adults perceive, interact with, and parent children suggest the breakdown of the societal institution of the family.

This breakdown can be seen as a perpetuator of an unhealthy culture. In the U.S. society and culture, family is an important institution that serves to perpetuate the characteristics of healthy culture and filter out the characteristics of a negative one. When properly functioning, family can help to perpetuate a healthy culture by raising children who can attempt to resist operating in a way that is consistent with an unhealthy culture. Family has, traditionally, served as a center for morality ("Seminar 3 Theme: Child-rearing in a risk society," 2007), as well as an institution where the values of society were to be learned. The breakdown of the family, however, cannot help but lead to unhealthy relations with in the U.S. culture. Many characteristics of an unhealthy culture are incubated in families that have been broken apart or are poorly functioning. For instance, in these families, communication and interaction among members is filled with strife, promoting a low morale and difficulty communicating in order to resolve problems. With no or limited support form parents or parental figures, children learn not to expect such support from society. Furthermore, they feel uncertainty in their own lives and suffer from an ability to form relations. All of these are indicators of unhealthy culture.

Diversity

Clearly, the discussion regarding the way that society interacts with children in the United States implied that the United States' society does not have one culture, but many, and that diversity plays an important role in that overarching culture or society. Diversity is an extremely beneficial indicator of healthy culture for a society. In the case of the United States, however, the way with which diversity is treated is similar to how Nabhan (DATE) explains it in the Geography of Childhood:

Healthy cultures make space for people whose perception and actions fall far from the average. it's not that someone diagnosed as schizophrenic is automatically more sane than those of us who can cope -- chances are high that they have been severely injured by civilization, damaged from having to live with intense sensitivity in such a belligerent and unbalanced world. They may not lead us home, but we can accept their gifts. A healthy culture would use diversity for its strength. Ours does not. (7-8).

Thus, in the United States' society and culture, the interactions between society and children suggest that diversity is used as a weakness rather than a strength, another indicator of unhealthy culture.

In his study of parental interactions in children's play, Vandermaas-Peeler (2002) suggested that, despite diverse ways of interacting with their children, parents across cultures had one goal -- to do what was best for them. In the United States, this is not true. While there are diverse ways of perceiving, interacting with, and parenting children in the United States, not all of them focus on what is best for the child. For instance, perceiving children as a burden, interacting with them in a way that uses obsession or child abuse, and parenting them through the strife that arises between two parents attempting to reconcile a parenting style is not using diversity to the benefit of a child. Seeing a child as a burden vs. seeing her as a blessing is a much different form of diversity than finding it culturally acceptable or unacceptable to play with one's child. In this manifestation of diversity, many dangerous aspects of an unhealthy culture can be unearthed. Most obviously, this suggests a lack of true diversity in the culture, as true diversity would promote different ways of caring for a child with his or her best interests at heart. Certainly, uncertainty is a reality for the culture that uses diversity in this way. Without true diversity, progression cannot be make, in addition to the fact that abused children are often killed or suffer great psychological damage so that they will not be able to perpetuate culture. Diversity used to create strife -- such as arguing between parents -- also encourages the sense of poor relationships that already exists among the culture, and children who emerge from this situation will not only view diversity in a negative light, but will also find it difficult to form goals for themselves in this area, as their parents did not help to model this type of goal setting for them. Thus, while diversity certainly exists in the U.S. culture and its associations with children, it is used primarily for negative purposes rather than progressive ones -- suggesting unhealthy relations in U.S. culture an inability to develop one's community.