This an analysis that compares changes that were made to an essay I wrote. It is called a meta analysis. I initially wrote an essay the unrealistic images that society portrays towards the male sex in general. I find this to be an interesting issue since usually the attention is drawn to the unrealistic images that are used for females. However, men face many cultural challenges in modern society with stereotypical concepts of what it means to be a male flooding media.
¶ … unrealistic images that society portrays towards the male sex in general. I find this to be an interesting issue since usually the attention is drawn to the unrealistic images that are used for females. However, men face many cultural challenges in modern society with stereotypical concepts of what it means to be a male flooding media. I found two basic concepts of the male. One was what I referred to as a "doofuses" and the other was what I referred to as an unrealistic heroic type stereotype. In this meta text essay I will reflect on the challenges I had in expressing my feelings on this issue by outlining many of the specific changes I made between the original document and the revised document. By providing examples of the specific changes I can provide the reasons that I decided to make these changes. While most of the changes were either just grammatical or structural issues, there were some changes made that did actually change some of the essay's meaning and/or tone.
Discussion of Changes
One of the first changes I made to the essay was to give it an official title. This lets the read know what to expect, or at least gives them a clue to what the essay covers. I chose the title "Understanding How Men are portrayed through Mass Media" because it is simple and I felt it summed up the essay fairly well. Most people already know about the unrealistic images that women have to put up with, but fewer people know about these issues with regards to men. Therefore, I thought this would be an interesting subject to research and also write an interesting essay about.
I decided to leave the attention getting introduction that include "men are dunderheaded, philandering imbeciles, or impossibly perfect heroes" and "equivalent to the slut and the Barbie images that women face in the media" because this vocabulary grabs the reader's attention, in my opinion. I did change a few small issues in the introduction. I took out "to live up to" because this phrase was unnecessary and made the sentence too wordy. I also took out the phrase "lessor known" and simply replaced it with the shorter version -- the fact is that
In the second paragraph I removed the "landmark study" description of the article because this description was definitely too strong. Describing the study as a "landmark study" reveals a definite biasness. Therefore by removing this easily viewed display of biasness I was hoping to appear more credible with my argument. Most of the following changes in the next few paragraphs were smaller and mostly dealt with grammatical type stuff. For example, I changed "in his book" to "in the book" because taking out the gender preposition is more formal.
The next major change that I made to the paper was when I took out the word succumb and replaced it with "give into" and I took out "imagery and fulfill the." Both of these corrections were to make the language used more clear and easier for the reader to follow. Another change was to remove the word "doofuse" from the essay. Although I love the word "doofuse" and I think most people would understand why I was trying to use it. There are obviously many people who may not know what the word means or find it possibly offensive. Furthermore, the use of such slang words also detracts from the essay's credibility. So even though I liked it, I eventually change it to read "an incompetent person."
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