Zoroastrianism Communication: The Primary Problem Here Is

Zoroastrianism Communication: The primary problem here is culturally-related. Loving someone and wishing to join in nuptials with that person is not enough if you are part of the Zoroastrian faith -- you have to go by those cultural rituals or be banished from the denomination. Outrageous as this seems to a Western person -- being banned for marrying someone outside your faith or having one's parents dictate whom you should marry -- making personal romantic choices is out of the question if one intends to be linked to Zoroastrianism.

That said, a member of the Zoroastrian faith either accepts the arbitrary dictums accompanying the rituals and laws, or leaves the religion. Because Zoroastrians are by tradition endogamous (they marry only within their own faith), this couple has a real problem if they intend to create a life together. Author Peter Clark suggests that Zoroastrians place very high value on the institution of marriage, and this is made clear by the fact that the woman's parents would actually ban their own flesh and blood for marrying outside Zoroastrianism (Clark, 1998, 112).

First solution: they could get married in a civil ceremony in the United States and since they are both business managers follow through with their desire to move to India and begin their careers there. If her parents reject her, she will have to be willing to bear that moral / personal burden. Second solution: they could go to India once their education is finished, have her parents meet her sweetheart and hope they will have a change of heart.

Clark mentions in his book that a trend is beginning in which some Zoroastrians are marrying outside the faith (112). Third solution: get married in America in a civil ceremony and find jobs in the U.S.; and try nonetheless to stay connected to her parents. Problem Solving: The scenario presented doesn't reflect how passionately committed the couple really is (albeit they are engaged so that seems very serious indeed), but the third solution has more going for it than the other two.

She is a devoted Parsee and het her parents will banish her if she marries the man she has chosen to live with? She can avoid that embarrassment and emotional train wreck by cutting ties with them before they banish her. If love is stronger than blood ties, this could work. She can certainly follow her faith in the U.S., or, on the other hand, if the couple still wished to work and live in India, she can practice her faith there.

Evaluation: Richard Foltz writes in the peer-reviewed journal Iranian Studies that North American Zoroastrians are much more liberal vis-a-vis marriage outside the faith than Zoroastrians in Iran and India (Foltz, 2009, 565). Hence, there may not be repercussions or talk of banishment while living as a married couple in America. The weakness in the third solution is that when a daughter's marriage outside the faith disrupts family relationships -- and the family cuts her off from all communication -- there may be no way to repair that schism.

This may well be painful for the daughter and the family. Still, the daughter isn't marrying her parents; she is marrying a man she loves dearly and plans on raising children with him, children who will follow her faith. And she will not be alone because there are (or were, as of 2006) about 11,000 Zoroastrians living in the U.S. (Goodstein, 2006, p. 1).

Synthesis: The strength of the third solution can also be bolstered by the fact that while Zoroastrianism is a fading faith, she is helping to make it stronger by adding children to the membership roles. Her husband apparently is happy to let his children be brought up in the Zoroastrian religion, and for those who criticize her marriage to a non-Zoroastrian man, she can point out that many Zoroastrians marry late and don't have children (Lyer, 2009, 228). She is marrying young, and contributing to the faith's membership with her children.

Reflection: My brother (a Methodist) married a Roman Catholic woman, and there were strong objections from her parents and from the priest, who wanted my brother to convert. But.