Dating Culture in 1950s America: Teens, Norms & Change

Introduction: The 1950s as a Turning Point in Dating

While dating has been part of American popular culture for several generations, the dating culture has changed from one generation to the next. Prior to the 1940s and World War II, most dating was actually in the form of courtship, and parents carefully monitored the interactions between teenagers and young adults. This began to change in the 1940s, as World War II greatly impacted how young men and women could interact. However, those changes mainly affected young adults rather than teenagers. Teenagers in the 1950s changed the rules of dating and, consequently, formed the basis of what today's teenagers consider normal dating. However, allowing norms created in the 1950s to define modern dating practices may be an anachronism, given the tremendous changes in society since that decade.

By considering the relationships among teenagers in the 1950s, it becomes apparent that families back then were significantly more conservative than today's families. For example, divorce rates were lower, so the nuclear family was the norm, giving rise to the idealized "happy days" image of the era. In addition, popular culture in the 1950s was far more conservative. Popular music of the time, though considered scandalous by many, had far more restrained lyrics and themes than modern music. All of these factors contributed to a gradual liberalization of dating attitudes since the 1950s.

"Teenagers in the 1950s are so iconic that, for some, they represent the last generation of innocence before it was 'lost' in the sixties. When asked to imagine this lost group, images of bobbysoxers, letterman jackets, malt shops and sock hops come instantly to mind" (Sombat). These images became part of the collective consciousness for later generations through popular television series such as Happy Days and films like Grease. In fact, the 1950s may have marked the beginning of America's youth-oriented culture, because it was then that teenagers gained both freedom and public visibility. However, this freedom came with the requirement that teens conform to a series of social norms—many of which they were actively developing—guided by the expectations of their parents. These norms were reflected most strongly in the 1950s version of dating.

From Courtship and Calling to Dating

Prior to dating becoming the normal way for young adults to mingle with members of the opposite sex, interested males would call upon girls in their homes. These visits were supervised by the family, and if the young pair was given any time alone, it was under highly controlled circumstances. In this way, calling was controlled by the girl, or at least by her family. In the era of calling on girls, the word date probably referred to booking an appointment with a prostitute. "However, by the turn of the 20th century, we find the word being used to describe lower-class men and women going out socially to public dances, parties and other meeting places, primarily in urban centers where women had to share small apartments and did not have spacious front parlors in their homes to which to invite men to call" (Burzumato).

The practice of dating began to spread as the surrounding culture changed. "With the rise of the entertainment culture, with its movie houses and dance halls and their universal appeal across class lines, dating quickly moved up the socioeconomic ladder to include middle- and upper-class men and women, as well as the new urbanites" (Burzumato). One element of this entertainment culture was the spread of popular music. Though rock and roll did not officially develop until the 1950s, its roots can be traced in the popular music of the early 20th century, which was an essential part of the entertainment culture, especially among the lower classes and minorities. This is exemplified by the development of Jazz culture in Harlem in the 1920s and the spread of blues music throughout much of the American South leading up to the 1950s.

Dating introduced a completely different element to American courtship rituals, separating them from the cultural traditions that immigrants had brought with them to America. After all, the practice of a man calling on a woman was widely used in Europe. First, dating allowed young people to interact without parental supervision or intervention. Second, it changed the balance of power in budding romantic relationships. When "dating replaced calling, the males held most of the power, for they paid for the date, drove the automobiles, and came by the girl's house only to pick her up" (Sombat).

Gender Roles and the Balance of Power

One of the ways that males held power was by controlling the terms of the date. "In the 1950s, it was unheard of for a young lady to ask for a date or to initiate the dating process. The men were supposed to do the asking and calling" (Sombat). Women were expected to be passive in the courtship process and could only influence their dating lives in indirect ways. Young women were told how to attract boys and secure dates, but were discouraged from taking a more active role. This helped reinforce earlier stereotypes of women as sexually passive and may have contributed to a rise in sexual and domestic violence against women, though inadequate record-keeping makes it impossible to confirm that claim.

Perhaps the most significant change from the perspective of males was the economic shift that came with dating. Prior to the 1950s, while a man's financial situation may have been important in the decision to marry, men could generally court without significant economic consideration. However, "back in the fifties, it was pretty much understood that boys pay for the expenses of the date. They take their girls out and show them a good time, but all of this costs money. Girls were—and some would insist still are—expensive to please, especially if one takes them out frequently. The concept of Dutch dating was not acceptable back in the fifties. Both boys and girls were embarrassed by the idea" (Sombat).

However, it was acceptable for a girl's family to feed a young man who was courting their daughter. That does not mean that females bore no dating-related expenses. Girls had to purchase clothing and spent significantly more on proms and formals than males did (Sombat). The key distinction was that males spent their money on the couple during the date, while females spent their money preparing for the date. This gendered division of economic responsibility reinforced broader social expectations about male initiative and female presentation in romantic relationships.