Adopting a Child with Sensory Integrative Dysfunction

Introduction

Sensory Integrative Dysfunction (SID) is a neurological disorder in which the human nervous system does not properly organize sensory information. It often occurs in children who have not received a normal amount of external sensory input, such as touch, visual stimuli, or sound. For example, if a child was left for an extended period of time in a dark room with little to no contact with other human beings, that child would be prone to developing SID because they would have been deprived of the stimuli necessary for proper nervous system development.

According to Babb and Laws (1997), the main characteristics of SID are:

Some parents adopt children with special needs such as SID, creating an alternative family structure. Because most children suffering from SID have been abused or institutionalized, it is rare for biological parents to raise them (Babb and Laws, 1997, p. 104). Therefore, it falls to adoptive parents to deal with the repercussions of the disorder. Because the child has been deprived of parental love as an infant, it is natural for adoptive parents to want to overcompensate by showing the child excessive amounts of affection. Yet even parents of children with SID need to understand the importance of firm boundaries. As Cloud and Townshend (2001) point out, "Parents are the source of all good things for a child. They are the bridge to the outside world of resources that sustain life. And in giving and receiving resources, boundaries play a very important role" (p. 21).

This paper explores the unique challenges adoptive parents face when raising a child with SID — a condition that demands both increased emotional reinforcement and strong, consistent boundaries simultaneously. Counseling can play an important role in helping these parents succeed in their endeavor to raise a happy, healthy child.

Problem Statement

According to Babb and Laws (1997), "research shows that the adoptions that are most difficult and the most likely to fail are those of children who have emotional and behavioral problems" (p. 89). SID is technically a physical disorder — specifically, a neurological one — however, many emotional problems tend to accompany it as well, such as rebelliousness and low self-esteem. Therefore, parents who adopt a child with SID face not only the added difficulties that can emerge from adoption itself, but also the many problems associated with raising a child with both a physical and emotional disorder. Taking all of these factors into consideration, research is clearly needed as to how parents in such a situation can best help their family function in a healthy and productive manner.

In 2006, the following family structures comprised adoptive families in the United States (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2008a):

Unique Characteristics of the Special Needs Adoptive Family

Additionally, data from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (2008b) indicate that children with emotional problems such as those associated with SID comprise approximately 35% of special needs adoptions.

There are several unique characteristics of the special needs adoptive family that are likely to emerge in child counseling. Because it is more difficult to find permanent homes for special needs children, government agencies have relaxed their criteria, making marital status and the ages of adoptive parents less pertinent considerations. According to Babb and Laws (1997), "This new flexibility is great news for special needs children who wait for unconditional love and a permanent family. And it is wonderful news for the thousands of Americans who once thought no agency would accept their application. This trend continues to extend to adults who have a different lifestyle, but who could be good parents" (p. 215). Gays and lesbians also have a better chance of adopting a special needs child than they do of adopting a child without special needs (Ryan et al., 2004).

Regardless of the specifics of the family structure, all adoptive families must deal with problems that biological families generally do not face. For example, adoptive parents must take on a parental role with an individual with whom they have had no prior parental bonding. They may then feel guilty for any difficulties the child faces, blaming themselves for not bonding as well as they feel they should have. According to Simmel et al. (2001), some experts believe "that impairments in adoptive parents' abilities to form emotional bonds with their adopted children originated from unresolved unconscious conflicts about their 'status' as adoptive parents, resulting in the youth's behavior disorders" (p. 61). Adoptive parents also have to confront behavioral and developmental problems that were already instilled in the child — problems they had no part in creating. This can be particularly difficult with a SID child, who is often dealing with the repercussions of early childhood abuse and/or neglect. As Clinton and Sibcy (2006) point out, parents have a tendency to overindulge or spoil their children, which can actually do more harm than good — a tendency likely to be especially strong among parents of special needs children.

In addition to these role differences, adoptive families must navigate a great deal of bureaucracy that biological parents never face. Adoption agencies and social services continuously monitor the success of the adoption, adding the stress of having to "prove themselves" to authorities. Adoptive parents must also undergo strict background checks before they can even be considered for adoption. Biological parents, by contrast, can have and raise a child without anyone's permission or scrutiny (Rosenthal & Groza, 1992).

Another factor unique to the adoptive family is a significant information gap regarding the child's early development. Not having been present at the birth or throughout many of the child's developmental milestones creates a notable gap in the bonding process. The older the adopted child is, the more of these experiences are absent from the adoptive parents' knowledge. Consequently, they have not yet mastered the subtleties of responding to the child's behaviors — skills they would likely have developed naturally had they raised the child from infancy (Rosenthal & Groza, 1992).

Adoptive parents must also decide whether or not to tell their child that he or she is adopted (depending on the age at which the adoption took place), and must contend with anxiety about how the child will react upon learning they were adopted. According to Pearson et al. (2007), "Some of the psychological issues that commonly occur among individuals who are adopted include a sense of loss, grief, shame, rejection, intimacy, control, identity formation, and depression...A sense of loss seems to be inherent in adoption for all parties involved...Because adoptees lose their birth parents, they are deprived of health information, social history, cultural history, and status" (p. 165). Accordingly, adoptive parents who decide to tell their children that they are adopted must confront questions such as: Will my child feel the need to search for his birth parents? Does she feel rejected by her natural parents? Will he ever look at me the same way again? These concerns are particularly acute for parents of SID children, who are prone to low self-esteem and emotional difficulties.

Adopting a special needs child also places extraordinary demands on time and energy. As Cloud and Townshend (2001) observe, "As a rule, children don't know what they are doing. They have little idea how to handle life so that it works right. That's why God gave them parents — to love them, give them structure and guide them into maturity" (p. 40). Special needs children often require additional nurturing, stricter discipline, firmer limit-setting, and markedly more attention than children without special needs. This can seem overwhelming for parents, especially those raising a child for the first time. Even in families with other siblings, these extra demands can generate significant stress across the entire family system. If parents are spending a disproportionate amount of time addressing the needs of one child, other children may feel neglected and begin acting out to gain parental attention. The result is a vicious cycle that can often only be interrupted by professional family counseling (Brodzinsky et al., 1984).

Conclusion

Whether parents are adopting a special needs child or raising a traditional, biologically related family, the strength of the family unit depends on how well change and disruption are handled — both by individual family members and by the family as a whole. Children and their families can benefit from counseling that centers on family systems theory, because this approach is specifically directed at addressing the changing dynamics of the family. Raising a child with special needs will always be a challenge. However, parents who have confidence in themselves — and who draw on professional support when needed — are well positioned to succeed at raising a happy, healthy, and well-adjusted child, regardless of the obstacles they face.