Effects of Domestic Violence Exposure on Children

Introduction

Domestic violence affects not only the adults involved but also the children living in the household. Children's perspectives on family violence often differ significantly from those of adults. For instance, the effects on children may be more severe than adults realize, and this applies equally to their experience of available support. Exposure to domestic violence can affect a child's development throughout their entire lifespan. Children exposed to domestic violence (CEDV) have a higher risk of developing anxiety and depression, along with several behavioral issues such as aggression, rebelliousness in school, acting out, and delinquency (Meltzer, Doos, Vostanis, Ford & Goodman, 2009). Such exposure might also cause Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (Rosen, Spitzer & McHugh, 2008). Extended bedwetting and delayed speech may also result (Margolin & Gordis, 2000; Nguyen, Edleson & Kimball, n.d.).

Furthermore, children exposed to domestic violence risk developing emotional and attachment disorders that may affect their relationships later in life (Carpenter & Stacks, 2009). A longitudinal research study conducted by Paradis et al. (2009) found that exposure to family arguments by age 15 impaired psychological functioning—including self-esteem and self-efficacy—as well as professional achievement in adulthood at age 30. A 20-year longitudinal study also discovered that exposure to domestic violence in early childhood doubled or even tripled the likelihood of becoming a perpetrator of domestic violence compared to those with healthier childhoods (Ehrensaft et al., 2003; Whitfield et al., 2003; Nguyen, Edleson & Kimball, n.d.).

How Children React to Domestic Violence

Timely and appropriate intervention can limit the negative effects of domestic violence exposure on children. Young children living in families experiencing domestic violence often feel disempowered, developing limited emotional literacy and verbal skills. The environment created by domestic violence is one of intimidation and secrecy, and caregivers may be less emotionally available to their children. These factors restrict children's opportunity and capacity to express their opinions and needs. Supporting children effectively requires considering their preferences and providing a healthy environment that maintains their daily routines, even in temporary shelters, along with consistent support structures across all areas of their lives.

Children's reactions to domestic violence are influenced by numerous factors. Some children do not display obvious signs of distress, while others develop coping mechanisms. The severity of impact varies across children based on factors such as age, prior trauma history, temperament, and cumulative experience. For example, an adolescent who witnessed repeated domestic violence incidents will experience different effects compared to a twelve-year-old who witnessed a single act of violence. Similarly, a six-year-old who saw a parent bleeding and feared for their life will have a different perception than a child who witnessed a less traumatic incident (Brown & Luppi, 2010).

Short-Term and Long-Term Responses

Relationships between violent fathers and their children often reflect unhealthy patterns of parenting. These patterns include neglect and unresponsiveness, emotional unavailability, negative attributions and misattributions toward the child, hostility, rejection and denigration, developmentally inappropriate or inconsistent interactions, lack of respect for the child's boundaries and individuality, and failure to promote the child's social adaptation (Stewart & Scott, 2014).

Children living in homes with domestic violence often become hypervigilant and fearful of physical harm (Goldblatt, 2003; Epstein & Keep, 1995). Many report feeling ignored and isolated (Ericksen & Henderson, 1992). They may struggle to share their concerns because their peer relationships are restricted or because they fear that professionals will not believe them (McGee, 2000). These children need help understanding and processing their emotional responses, which may include helplessness, fear, guilt, frustration, and confusion (Thornton, 2014).

A recent study revealed that 12 percent of children under age 11 had been exposed to domestic abuse between adults (NSPCC, 2011). Earlier assumptions that children were unaware of domestic violence have been replaced by recognition that children are acutely aware of both the violence and its consequences. Short-term symptoms include depression and anxiety, reduced social competence, and physical manifestations such as disturbed sleep, failure to thrive (particularly in young children), and bedwetting. Children exposed to domestic violence also reportedly have lower IQs than those from non-violent settings, which affects their school performance (Thornton, 2014).

Supporting Recovery and Resilience

Children in violent homes live under continuous threat of harm, forcing them to remain hypervigilant and constantly alert (Goldblatt, 2003). They often report feeling ignored and isolated (Ericksen & Henderson, 1992) and struggle to share their concerns because peer relationships are restricted or because they fear not being believed (McGee, 2000; Epstein & Keep, 1995). Supporting these children requires helping them understand their emotional responses—helplessness, fear, guilt, frustration, and confusion—and validating their experiences.

Long-term research shows that children exposed to domestic violence may develop anxiety and depression, substance abuse, impulsive behaviors including unprotected sex, self-destructive behaviors, low self-esteem, chronic illnesses, and violent or criminal behavior. However, therapy can interrupt these trajectories (Thornton, 2014). Children's responses vary widely, and a significant minority—between 37 and 50 percent—of children exposed to domestic violence do not exhibit problems greater than those of their peers from healthy backgrounds. This variation may result from differences in the type and severity of violence, the extent of the child's exposure, and other family stressors. The child's coping abilities and the presence or absence of protective factors also play important roles (Nguyen, Edleson & Kimball, n.d.).

Research shows that many children exhibit resilience when given appropriate support following traumatic experiences. Community and family support are critical in increasing children's capacity for resilience and helping them recover and thrive. Central to a child's resilience is having a caring, protective, and positive adult in their life. While a long-term relationship with a caring caregiver is ideal, even a short-term connection with a supportive adult—a teacher, mentor, or counselor—can be significantly beneficial.

Conclusion

Children exposed to violence often hold contradictory and confused feelings. They may worry about the abused parent's safety, fear that parents cannot protect them, view the abusive parent as both loving and dangerous, or blame the victimized parent for family separation. Their loyalty becomes torn between two parents. The American Psychological Association and clinical literature recommend helping children with these mixed emotions by communicating the following: "Having mixed feelings is okay"; "It is normal to be angry at either parent"; "You can love someone but dislike their behavior"; "You can love both parents at the same time"; and "The violence is not your fault—it is an adult problem" (Stewart & Scott, 2014).

Supporting survivors of domestic violence, including children, is not always straightforward. Hearing detailed accounts of violence and responding with empathy can cause professionals to experience secondary trauma, especially if they have personal histories of similar experiences (Brown & Luppi, 2010).

A central theme of this research is that exposing children to domestic violence creates significant emotional overwhelm, and addressing this overwhelm is critical for professionals working with affected children (Thornton, 2014). Quantitative studies consistently document physical effects such as failure to thrive and bedwetting in young children exposed to domestic violence. The negative effects on children are substantial, and their responses and support needs are unique compared to other populations. Many child and youth workers lack sufficient information about how to serve children exposed to domestic violence, leading to frustration and gaps in care. Understanding children's specific needs will lead to better service provision. Multiple strategies exist for helping children process complex emotions, including promoting stronger bonds with siblings and mothers, creating welcoming environments that encourage children to share their stories, and ensuring consistent support. To better understand abusive fathers and their relationships with children, researchers should investigate the differences among such fathers—what motivates abusive behavior, what mental health issues affect their parenting, and which interventions are most suitable for them (Stewart & Scott, 2014).