This paper examines equity theory as it applies to intimate relationships, drawing on the work of Hatfield, Rapson, and Aumer-Ryan (2008) and Van Yperen and Buunk (1990). It explores the kinds of inputs partners contribute, how perceptions of fairness differ across genders and personalities, and how long-term commitment tends to shift couples away from strict equity calculations. The paper also considers the four key areas β personal, emotional, day-to-day concerns, and opportunities gained and lost β through which individuals attempt to maximize relational outcomes. Ultimately, the paper argues that inequity in relationships produces distress or guilt, making equity theory a critically important lens for understanding intimate partnerships.
Are there specific inputs that are critical to enjoying a successful intimate relationship? And are there times in our lives when we accept an unequal balance of inputs and outputs? This paper reviews and critiques those questions along with related issues central to equity theory as it applies to intimate partnerships.
There are a number of important inputs that each individual within an intimate relationship should be contributing. The kinds of inputs, the timing of those inputs, and the degree of importance they carry within the relationship all depend on the nature and depth of that relationship. The importance of any given input β assuming both parties are honestly seeking a long-term relationship perceived as just by both β is sometimes determined by how critical it is to balance the relationship overall.
If one party finds themselves thinking, "I am getting a much better deal than my partner," that person β in order to avoid feeling guilty β needs to provide a greater share of meaningful inputs (Hatfield, et al., 2008, p. 415). On the other hand, if one party thinks, "My partner is getting a somewhat better deal," then a move toward equity is required. But how does the person who believes they are getting the short end of the stick encourage the other party to give more?
Hatfield raises the important point that there are societal differences in the actual meaning of "fairness and equity." What one person perceives as unjust or unfair in the relationship is unique to that individual and may not be seen the same way by their partner. In other words, while it is reasonable to discuss the need for roughly equal inputs from both partners, perceptions of what is fair, just, and equal in a relationship differ across genders and personalities.
"Commitment reduces focus on short-term equity"
"Four-part equity formula for relational outcomes"
The average couple in a long-term relationship is not likely to sit down and try to balance those four concerns in order to verify that their partnership is equitable. Nor is a couple going to, while sitting on the sofa after dinner, consult the scholarly literature together to determine whether the inputs and outputs they share are fair. But when one partner is inequitably receiving far more than the other, there will be distress, guilt, or both β and this is the dilemma that millions of couples have faced.
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