This paper explores how individual personality and communication styles shape workplace relationships and productivity. The author describes their own direct, moderately extroverted communication style before examining three real-world colleagues whose contrasting styles — an emotionally inconsistent manager, an over-sharing coworker, and a chronically negative peer — create friction and stress. Drawing on applied psychology principles, the paper then proposes targeted relationship-enhancement strategies for each individual, followed by three structured conflict resolution techniques: giving feedback, active listening, and mediation. The discussion is grounded in DuBrin's framework for individual and organizational effectiveness.
I would describe myself as having a fairly direct personality. I prefer instructions to be communicated clearly before I embark on a task, and I try to be equally clear when communicating with others. What a person knows matters more to me than who they are. I try to maintain a reasonable divide between my personal life and my work life. I would not call myself reserved, but I do strive to be professional. I am friendly and enjoy small talk, yet there are certain boundaries I do not cross regarding the subjects I raise at work. I have friends at work, but I do not socialize with them outside of the office.
I am a moderately extroverted person. I enjoy working and engaging with people rather than staring at a screen all day; however, I also need some time to recharge. I like work to be enjoyable, but I take it seriously. I believe this is why I have often succeeded in leadership positions. I am professional and courteous, and I take a genuine interest in people, but I do not blur the line between personal and professional dealings or get drawn into office politics. People appreciate that I say what I mean and mean what I say. I follow the rules, and I am fair.
My preference for clear direction has occasionally created friction between myself and others, even though most managers appreciate my style. One manager, however, seemed to expect all of her employees to intuitively know what she wanted. She acted as though giving clear direction was beneath her, yet became extremely upset when employees did not do exactly what she desired. She was highly emotional and set no clear expectations for how employees should behave. She also appeared to play favorites, and it was frustrating to observe that certain workers were held to different standards than others. Being judged harshly based on gut impressions rather than facts was difficult enough, but watching her favor certain colleagues over the quality of work was particularly discouraging.
Colleagues who over-share in the workplace present a different kind of challenge and can make it difficult to stay productive. I often feel compelled to show sympathy, but I dislike condoning negative attitudes or the use of office time for personal matters. One such colleague frequently allows her personal life to infiltrate the workplace — conducting personal business by phone or online during work hours and regularly submitting reports late. It is frustrating when I need something delivered on time and cannot rely on her to do so. She is, however, genuinely friendly and kind toward me, which makes it difficult to raise concerns, knowing she is not a bad person at heart. Still, her tendency to prioritize personal conversations over tasks sometimes results in longer hours for me because of her delays. Her habit of sharing gossip about others is also something I prefer not to be involved in. As research on organizational communication suggests, when personal and professional boundaries are not maintained, overall team performance often suffers.
A third colleague presents yet another challenge: he is sharp and cutting in his words and dismissive in his attitude toward others. He does good work, but his persistent negativity makes him unpleasant to be around, and I privately hope to be assigned as few joint projects with him as possible, despite his competence. He can be articulate, but he frequently complains about managerial policy, and I have no desire to appear to endorse that kind of backbiting. It is also difficult to stay enthusiastic about a task when someone is constantly expressing complaints.
Regarding the manager who plays favorites, the best strategy is to simply stick with the facts. Rather than focusing on personalities, I should keep conversations with her issue-based and aim to demonstrate my value through concrete results. When her directions are unclear, I must seek clarification, and if she seems impatient, I will frame the request positively — explaining that I am asking because I want to do the job well.
Regarding the over-sharing colleague, occasionally allowing her to vent may be necessary, but it should be managed in a controlled way. After she has expressed herself, I should clearly communicate how busy I am and that I need to return to work, while also reminding her of what she needs to deliver when my own output depends on hers. Providing clear, constructive guidance in these moments can redirect energy toward shared professional goals.
"Tailored approaches for improving each difficult relationship"
"Feedback, listening, and mediation as structured resolution tools"
You’re 65% through this paper. Sign up to read the remaining 2 sections.
Sign Up Now — Instant Access Already a member? Log inAlways verify citation format against your institution’s current style guide requirements.