There is a point where anger cannot be avoided, and the authors really provide no insight into how I might deal with those situations.
Chapter 9 focuses on managing face, a concept the authors define as "people's image of themselves" (p. 157). I was interested in this chapter from the outside, since I have been known to trample on people's feelings every now and again. I am not convinced that I have the capacity to understand what other people's face might be, and there is no point in guessing, so I do not concern myself with such things.
The authors focus on the ways that face management (or mismanagement) contributes to anger situations, but I found myself more interested in just trying to figure out the basics of this concept. I read about the positive face and the autonomous face but I do not feel that I gained any new insight into these things.
I think, in going through the different preventative, supportive and...
I understand in basic that I am supporting people and attempting to make them feel good about themselves, but in a conflict situation this really does not seem particularly productive, to expend energy looking for ways to make people feel good about themselves when there is a problem that must be resolved. At no point do the authors focus on context -- why are we doing this, when are we doing this and how does it relate to conflict management? It is enough trouble to manage my own emotions in times of stress, managing those of somebody else is not a logical response. I think back to my skateboarder, and I really do not see where praising this person does anybody any favors, or how it resolves the situation, addresses the problem, or allows me to come away from the experience feeling better.
I was hoping for some answers from this chapter and I am only left with more questions.
