Analysis of three business-to-business email messages and tone

Business to Business Messages

In the mail to Team BCS, there are several elements which attest to the nature and tone of the email. According to research, effective business communications will incorporate benefits; "This process should be implemented with your audience in minds so that your end product will be an effective persuasive message," (Misty 2005). These benefits should come first, but here the request is first. This shows the simplicity of the message itself. The main purpose of the message is quite simple, there is a command taking place from a superior to the employees. Therefore, it uses a cold, dry tone. The language is clear and to the point. It is also clear that the audience has experience in accepting orders within a message, and the use of the phrase EOD shows their experience within the professional realm.

Email

This email is asking for team volunteers, and so has a persuasive argument to make in order to do so. In this context, the benefits are listed first, and then repeated in great detail later on. This entices the reader to think about possibly offering to volunteer right of the bat, and proves to be put in a persuasive manner. It is highly technical, and so it is clear that the audience would have had prior knowledge of the types of technologies being used in the opportunity. The audience is obviously those who are already familiar with the subject matter; the writer uses anagrams, like DPI. Additionally, it praises work done prior to this point by the Smart Strategy Team. It is trying to persuade employees to volunteer their time. Moreover, it provides a reward that will benefit the group at large. It then lists the opportunities available upon acceptance of a volunteer program. Benefits in terms of experience and knowledge, "you will have the opportunity to determine the solution that keeps deployment on the forefront of web technology." There is an emphasis on huge, in all caps -- to show what a great opportunity it is. Lastly, there is no signature or ending, which makes it somewhat informal for a business letter.

Subject: Building Strategic Relationships

Thanks for taking a second to consider the act of building strong strategic relationships which can produce favorable productivity increases for both XYZ and ABC Company.

We have long been a witness to the expertise found within your organization. After considering the productivity benefits it would provide, it becomes clear that a working relationship would prove mutually beneficial. Not only could we offer availability to our resources, it is clear that working with us would ensure a stronger business strategy.

If interested in discussing strategic collaboration further, please contact us here at ABC at your leisure. We can't wait to get started!

Thanks again,

Steve

ABC Company

Email 2

To: ABC Company

Subject: Re: Building Strategic Relationships

ABC Company

Attn: Steve

Thank you for your interest in working with us. We appreciate the recognition and time spent on our behalf.

Unfortunately, we cannot act on your request at this time. Due to prior experience with costs involved prove that a working relationship would not be mutually beneficial in terms of your standing product prices. We here at XYZ aim to pass on as much savings to our customers as possible. Yet, as you probably know, cost of operations must be secured in order to continue to do so. With that in mind, it would not be feasible for us to work your company.

However, we do greatly appreciate the offer and we encourage you to contact us if there are any changes in prices.

Thank you kindly.