Communication Theory Had Seen Him

Communication Theory had seen him hanging out near the school on and off for several months, and his appearances were always accompanied by a host of comments whispered among my companions or directed loudly in his direction. This person was obviously not attempting to define the same reality as we were. The boy in question was always wearing black leather, sometimes accompanied by pink and blue costume fairy wings. His blonde hair was streaked with blues and pinks, sometimes with feathers stuck in for good measure. When he wasn't wearing black leather pants or tight-fitting jeans, he would wear shorts with striped tights underneath. Sociologists could not find a better subject for their text books to serve as a potential for miscommunication with me. I was studying outside the library one evening when this strange being approached me for the first time.

Hey, boy. I've seen you around. What's up?" I did not respond; in fact, I tried hard to ignore him. He continued. "You usually have friends with you, but tonight you're alone. You're always studying. Want some company?" It was a well-circulated observation that "Baal" was not heterosexual, and I assumed he was propositioning me for something in which I was most definitely not interested, seeing him as a threat to my well-being. My response was to grab my backpack and walk away from the situation as quickly as possible, without saying a word. About one month later, Baal and I were coincidentally involved in a shared car accident where a drunk driver ran both of us off of the road. While waiting for the police to arrive, he showed great concern for my well-being, which surprised me. Baal and I began to speak and I came to realize that I had misunderstood his intentions the night we had met at the library. He had not been hitting on me, but actually looking for a study-partner that could help tudor him for his home-school work. The reason why this miscommunication happened can be explained through both Mead's Symbolic Interactionism theory and Altman and Taylor's Social Penetration Theory.

The Symbolic Interactionist approach has been made famous by George Herbert Mead, a philosophy professor, and his student Herbert Blumer; Blumer coined the phrase symbolic interactionism based on his teacher's philosophy. The three core principles of symbolic interactionism are the construction of social reality (meaning), the source of meaning (language), and the process of taking the role of the other (thought). Blumer states "that humans act toward people or things on the basis of the meanings they assign to those people or things....once people define a situation as real, it's very real in its consequences." (56) With the information that Baal was of an alternate sexual orientation and style of dress, I defined him as a kind of person that is a threat to me. I made a default assumption, which had some basis in fact (he does approach other males for sexual purposes, and is actually quite skilled in martial arts, though I cannot recall if I knew that before meeting him in person), but I made an unconscious mental jump to my conclusion that he was soliciting me for sexual purposes and intending to do harm to me. I also assumed that because he associates with the goth-punk community, who have been widely reported (perhaps slanderously) as being a violent crowd, that he was himself a violent person.

Symbolic interactionists describe thinking as an inner conversation. Mead called this inner dialogue minding," during which we will "mentally rehearse our next move, test alternatives, anticipate others' reactions." (58) did this when Baal spoke to me, role-taking so as to put myself in his position, and the only possible outcome which seemed feasible to me was the wrong assumption. An important part of the self that is explored by Mead is the generalized other, which shapes how one thinks and interacts within a community. Baal's set of information about social group expectations that makes up the generalized other is vastly different from mine. To him, his approach was perfectly acceptable, while my place in the social group was such that I did not associate with strange people like him.

Some examples of applied symbolic interaction are creating reality, naming, and self-fulfilling prophecy. According to Erving Goffman, social interaction is like a dramaturgical performance where we are all actors, and all constantly negotiating with everyone else to publicly define our identity and the nature of the situation. "the impression of reality fostered by a performance is a delicate, fragile thing that can be shattered by minor mishaps." (62)

Baal has actually identified himself as that mishap which shatters the impression of reality. He rather specifically chooses to ignore the definitions that other people are trying to achieve, which is part of why he dresses so strangely and takes on an odd demeanor. Because he did cooperate with me or my associates to sustain the definition of reality with which we are comfortable, Baal and I were unable to communicate effectively. Name-calling can actually force a person to view themselves in a warped way, according to symbolic interaction, and this also contributed to our inability to communicate with one another. Baal had a great deal of experience being called epithets such as "punk" and "fairy," and in a most real way his view of self was shaped by those names. He actually came to identify himself with these terms, hence the spiked hair and costume wings. Self-fulfilling prophecy also played a part, as I made the decision long before actually meeting him that Baal would hit on me if I ever met him in person; when we did meet, his actions seemed to obviously indicate, in my mind, that I had been correct.