Coping mechanisms and strategies for dealing with death

Death and Dying

There is no right or wrong way to react to someone's death or to someone who is dying. Grief is as individual as anything can be. Some cry uncontrollably and even have to be sedated. Others become silent and uncommunicative. A person's culture will invariably impact the way they grieve because it will socially dictate behaviors that are appropriate or inappropriate to a given set of conditions. There are some communities which, instead of grieving, choose to think only of the good times that they spent with the deceased. The Irish tradition of the wake exemplifies this model of grief. Other cultures, such as the Jewish people, will take days to mourn their loved one and devote a week to the process. In the United States there are many cultures all living in one place and each has its own practices about dealing with grief and the death of someone close. Of particular interest to historians and sociologists are the various grieving practices of the Native American tribes and what it says about the United States as a whole. In many Native American cultures, they are taught to fear death. In a study conducted by David Mandelbaum a comparison was made between the ways that two Native American societies, the Cocopa and Hopi, respond to death. The difference between these two cultures is a microcosm of the world at large and how all people respond to death.

The Cocopa tribe are very vocal in their grief. These people will cry and scream as they mourn their dead for upwards of a full day (Perspectives 106). The outpouring of emotion will only end after the body of the deceased has been cremated. In addition to the body itself, things that were important to the deceased, like items of clothing will also be burnt. Also to be burnt is food and other items which it is believed that the deceased will need in the afterlife. Following this ceremony is a lighter event wherein the life of the deceased is celebrated. These customs are similar to many modern practices regarding grief. For example, many bodies today are cremated. Those that are not are buried below the ground and often they are buried with tokens and trinkets which had extensive meaning to them in their lifetime. Although people know intellectually that the deceased cannot use the material any more, it proves a psychological balm to the survivors to think that the dead person has this treasured possession. One example of this is mothers who often bury their young children with toys that belonged to the little one. Obviously the dead body has no need of a teddy bear, but it gives some comfort to the living person to bury the item with the child.