Coping with death: psychological and emotional perspectives

Death

Linda Wertheimer and Robert Siegel extensively interviewed Helen Payne, an 81-year-old woman dying of leukemia, and family members, regarding the process of coping with terminal illness in a loved one. They included observations from Payne's oncologist and hospice nurse as well. Their interview shows a wide range of logical and emotional responses exhibited by family members as Payne's illness progressed, and demonstrated just how complex our reaction to such illness can be.

Wertheimer and Siegel are presumably competent radio reporters. Their article was organized around open-ended questions they put to Helen Payne, one of her granddaughters, and medical experts. The result is a compelling narrative reflecting how families handle the complex emotions that occur when a loved one faces death. Family members demonstrated both logical and emotional responses to Payne's situation, although Payne herself accepted the doctor's diagnosis with poise and dignity. Since this article was not research, including medical experts balanced personal opinion with scientific fact. It would be difficult to directly research this topic due to the sensitivity, and analysis of interviews rather than questionnaires might be most effective since people's reactions were not always logical.

RESPONSE:

Wertheimer and Siegel presented a sensitive portrait of a family during a time of impending loss. By use of their open-ended questions, they allowed the respondents to give full and detailed responses that give the reader a sense of who these people were. It was easy to understand the magnitude of this family's loss when Helen Payne eventually did die. Information was provided about the family in the authors' narratives, but they refrained from interpreting the Payne family's experience, which was appropriate for this type of interview.

In the interview, the interviewers elicited frank discussions from family members about how they responded. For instance, Glenda Crabbe, Payne's granddaughter, responded in both logical and illogical ways. While Payne herself accepted the fact that she was going to die even though she could not remember the name of the disease, Crabbe went with her to doctor's appointments, took notes, and then went home and researched the disease in any way she could. She discovered that there were several forms of leukemia, some more serious than others. This was a systematically logical approach. However, even though she could see that her grandmother's symptoms pointed toward a very deadly form of the disease, she became angry at the doctor when he told the family that Payne's form was aggressive and would be fatal. Even though Crabbe had figured this out for herself, she had counted on the doctor to prove her wrong. The doctor did not do that.

By contrast, Payne accepted her diagnosis with equanimity. Payne herself attributed this to her age -- at eighty-one it was not unreasonable to die -- and her religious faith, which gave her a positive perspective on death. In fact, she started dreaming about loved ones who had died before her and whom she expected to see again in Heaven.