Cultural Performances in Weddings and Pornography

Pornography and Weddings

According to Elizabeth Bell, pornography and weddings are performances that demonstrate the light and the dark sides of human sexuality, which, as mirror doubles, are "complementary and necessary to each other for the construction of sex as always already in need of control (190). Marriage does this because it is the sole performance that legitimizes sexual activity in our culture, therefore representing the light side of human sexuality. In contrast, pornography does this by exposing darker elements of sexuality; those very things that are discouraged sexual practices by society at large.

Bell believes that these performances demonstrate the status quo in society, and she defends that belief by explaining the differences in pornography across culture. However, her cross-cultural analysis is incomplete; she does not enter into the differences in wedding ceremonies across culture. Although the trappings, such as the color of the dress and traditional wedding decorations differ, marriage ceremonies are surprisingly consistent across cultures. There have been some changes to weddings in the past few decades, but most cultures have wedding ceremonies in which the bride's parents give her to the groom. In some cases, this gift of a daughter is accompanied by a tangible gift, such as a dowry. In other cases, the gift is merely symbolic, such as when a father accompanies a daughter down the aisle, and then hands her off to his bride. Given that there is such a striking similarity between wedding ceremonies across cultures, the cross-cultural differences in pornography weaken Bell's argument that pornography and weddings mirror each other. She fails to address the significance of the fact that the subject of pornography differs substantially across cultures, while the subject of marriage does not.

In fact, one of the things that Bell ignores is that marriage is much more substantial than pornography. To reduce a wedding to merely a public display of a private sexual relationship ignores the broader implications of marriage. Whether or not one believes that marriage is a sexist institution, the fact remains that, cross-culturally, and especially in America, marriage is more than a sexual relationship. In America, marriage is a legal relationship, as well as a social relationship. Weddings give people the right to engage in legitimate sexual relationships, but they also give spouses rights to one another's property, and to make life and death decisions about one-another. Furthermore, in America, even if women are oppressed in every other institution, they are granted the same rights as men when the two enter into a marriage relationship. In this way, marriage treats women differently than pornography. In this way, there is no negotiation required when a person, male or female enters into a marriage; therefore, the performance of the wedding ceremony does not reflect negotiation. Women come into the marriage relationship as legal, if not social, equals. If they choose to negotiate away their power or equality, they do so free of legal, if not social compulsion.