¶ … Divorce is one of the bitter truths of life and is taking place in innumerable families worldwide. It can prove to be an upsetting experience for the parents. However, both the parties should think of their children before taking any decision as divorce affects the lives of the children in a real bad way.
These days, it is totally impossible for people to ignore the substantial and extensive consequences of divorce. The social scientists believe that the ever increasing rate of parents separating or ending their marriages is not only bad for the society but is also an upsetting and destructive experience for the children. The divorce not only has the tendency to devastate a whole household or family life but it also affects the education acquirement process, job reliability, income likely, physical health, and emotional well-being of the family members. Children of divorced parents involve themselves in alcohol and drug addiction and offensive activities (Fagan & Rector).
Millions of children throughout the world undergo overwhelming experiences when their parents end their marriages. The consequences of divorce continue to affect the life of a child even when he becomes a mature person. Divorce and separation of parents not only incur negative influences on the adolescence of the individual but also crushes the next generation of children. Observations and studies of divorced children reveals that divorce affects are mostly definite, cruel, permanent and dangerous. Thus, it is the need of the time that the affected children must be protected from the harsh physiological and psychological effects of divorce. The long-term outcomes devastate a nation too because not a single nation on the face of the earth can progress and advance with psychologically-affected adults. Therefore, in order to curb the effects of divorce, it is necessary to bring a cultural shift in the attitudes of the people. There is a dire need to transform the point-of-views of the people who still consider divorce as an "OK" process and internal matter of the family. It must be understood by the people that it is not alright for parents to end their marital bond over silly issues and destroy the lives of the children (Fagan & Rector).
Why must divorce be condemned?
The children of divorce face and experience overwhelming dilemmas and troubles which are adequate enough to disapprove divorce at every level. The plight of such children continuously affects every aspect of their lives. They easily become the victims of abuse and sufferers of ignorance and rejection. They are challenged with more health, behavioral, personality and emotional problems. A majority of divorce-affected children involve themselves in illicit and illegal activities and drug abuse. Moreover, the rate of suicides is much higher in the children who find difficulty in enduring the outcomes of divorce (Fagan & Rector).
A weakened learning capacity among children is also one of the outcomes of divorce. They perform really poor in the classrooms as compared with their fellow students. These ill-fated children also demonstrate weak reading and writing skills; spell poorly and are also bad in mathematical calculations. Records show that divorced children also have higher dropout rates. Most of them fail to attain graduation degree from colleges (Fagan & Rector).
The primary household of divorced children is also affected due to reduction in income. The household members also lose their potential to build up and save money for surviving in the present and securing the future. The drop in income of the families who were prosperous and wealthy before the occurrence of divorce has been recorded to be as much as 50%. Another factor of divorce is the absence of religious worship and spirituality in the family. As religion is not prevalent in such families, there are more chances of divorce resulting in the lacking of health, happiness, longer marriages and better family life (Fagan & Rector).
Regrettably, divorce has distinctive affects that are destructive for both parents and their children....
It weakens the connection between a child and his parents on an everlasting basis. Divorce also leads a child to long-suffering ways of conflict and anger management. The children of divorced families also feel unimportant, insignificant and have an inferior sense of self. The dilemma goes on and on throughout their lives. These unlucky, innocent creatures of God also demonstrate signs of "more cohabitation, higher expectations of divorce, higher divorce rates later in life, and less desire to have children" (Fagan & Rector).
Children of divorced parents do not find it easy to be connected to others. It becomes difficult for them to associate themselves with and maintain long-term and unending relationships. Another dilemma for these children is that they lose close contact with their nonresident parents, usually the male parent. Thus, the fathers become a diminished character in the story of their lives as distance erodes away the intimacy of father-child connection. Divorce becomes a nonstop experience for children as they undergo constant series of changes and family disorder. When their parents introduce them to new social circles or sexual partners, the emotional side of their personality is affected significantly. In other cases, the immediate re-partnering or remarriage after the divorce also perplexes the children to a great extent. As a consequence, the children of divorce are reported to marry at an early age. As one could expect, they are generally unsatisfied and unhappy with their marriage or spouse. They are also more likely to end their marriages over petty issues. Moreover, when they become parents, they kind of start taking revenge from their own offspring by doing to them what they experienced at the hands of their parents (Kelly & Emery).
To cut a long story short, when divorced children are compared with children belonging to married families, they crystal-clearly demonstrate problems in their social lives, internal issues and academic achievements. It does not mean that children living normal lives in bonded families do not face problems both psychologically and socially. However, children of divorced parents have much more complex problems. Their conduct and behaviors become rebellious, unfriendly, selfish and uncooperative and it upsets their relationships with others including their guardians or custodian parent. They also have poor academic performance and abilities. Their score tests clearly show their inattentiveness and no concentration in studies (Kelly & Emery).
It is an undeniable fact that the main sufferers of the divorce are children. This suffering remains with most of the children till the end and ultimately damages their psychological well-being. What needs to be realized is that the psychological abuse is much more harmful than the physical abuse. The dissolution of the partners in marriage is hurtful for their children and their ability of maintaining trustworthy, deep and intimate relationships becomes more delicate in the future. In simple words, it is not just the parents who divorce each other; they divorce their children too who become the victims of senseless and selfish decisions (Fagan & Rector).
Conclusion
To tell a child or children about the divorce may be a painful experience for many parents. However, the parents must not delay this task as it is better for children to know about this decision straight away. The sudden moving of a parent from the household without an explanation can be devastating for the child. Therefore, to help children cope with the divorce and its outcomes, parents must be as honest with them as possible. They should acknowledge the feelings of their child and try to explain and discuss with them the consequences of it. It is the responsibility of both the parents to reassure the children of their presence and provide them a sense of security. It is also important for a parent to be fair while discussing the other parent. They must make sure that after the divorce, he/she will be supporting and encouraging the children. The most important thing is to tell them that it is…
