My most meaningful experiences discovering pregnancy

¶ … happiest experience: Finding grace in a time of difficulty

Recalling the previous incidents in my life for this essay, I realized that no other event in my life can ever replace the joy I experienced upon learning that I am pregnant with my first child. I reflected on this realization, and asked myself what made my being pregnant the happiest experience in my life. I believe that the happiness I felt was anchored on the fact that (1) I am giving life to another worthy individual on this world, and (2) I have finally found a moment in my life where I appreciated myself not just as an individual, but a woman capable of giving life to others.

These feelings I had may not be a universal, especially to males who could not understand a woman's feelings of fulfillment and self-worth. I am also conscious of the fact that some people may not understand the sudden surge of emotions I feel whenever I talk about my pregnancy and my child. Nevertheless, I still felt that my experience is worthy of sharing because it is only through this essay that I am able to extend to other people the significance of birth (and all the processes that are associated with it), the importance of life as a gift and grace for humanity.

What made my pregnancy an experience worth recalling and reflecting on was that it happened when I was going through a very difficult undertaking in my life as a student who struggled to keep my child despite pressure from peers and other people to abort the baby during the early phases of my pregnancy. Surrounded by people who considered my condition as an impediment more than a grace and opportunity to realize my worth as an individual, I went through a difficult time convincing myself that I made the right decision to keep my child.

It is true that extreme happiness precedes a corresponding feeling of extreme sadness. In the midst of regular medical check-ups with my doctor, and constantly educating myself with child care and rearing, I was constantly plagued with worst-case scenario thoughts about me and my child's future. Would I be able to support my child? Would I be able to balance my studies with parenting? What if my child is growing, would I encounter the hardship people had so often reminded me whenever they see me with my child? These are the doubts and uncertainties I had to go through before; in fact, even though I now gave birth to a healthy child, I do experience these feelings of insecurity about our future.