Abstract
Violence against women is often perpetrated by an intimate male partner, a husband or a family member living in the same house as the victim. According to the World Report on Violence and Health, intimate partners in abusive relationships account for 40% to 70% of homicides worldwide against women. Intimate partner abuse is a form of abusive behaviour also referred to as “battering”, “wife-beating”, or “domestic violence.” Women are susceptible to various forms of violence in their lifetime. It is generally perceived that women are of the weaker sex; and thus weak socially, physically and even financially. Women are prone to mental and physical torture, physical assault, humiliation, psychological abuse such as consistent intimidation and coercive sex from their husbands. Men also tend to monitor the movement of their wives, isolate them from friends and family, and restrict them from accessing services and resources, and thus abusing them. This paper focuses on domestic violence in military families, including a case study of a vignette and resiliency and counselling interventions for victims.

Keywords: battering, psychological abuse, wife-beating, intimidation, domestic violence, intimate partners, coercive sex, humiliation

Introduction

Everyone is vulnerable to domestic violence and can become a victim anywhere and at any time despite their race, level of education, service in the military, gender, religion, age or ethnicity. Service members often experience stress, including their families. However, it is not a justification, explanation or excuse for domestic violence whatsoever. Furthermore, alcohol, anger or drugs are not explanations or excuses for abuse. Therefore, it is important for the military family, including service members, parents, spouses, caregivers or siblings to know about the valuable resources available for victims of domestic violence. Loving relationships should not encompass any sort of crime such as domestic violence. It is also not an acceptable or normal by-product of military service life (Buchanan et al., 2009).

Therefore, every member of a military family should know how to identify domestic violence in its various forms such as sexual violence (rape), physical violence (grabbing, hitting, yanking, pushing, choking, biting, slapping, etc.), emotional or psychological abuse (insulting, humiliating, ignoring, isolating, controlling financially, etc.), threat of sexual or physical abuse (looks, words, control gestures or frighten), and stalking (harassing, following or tracking electronically to impart fear). If a military family member experiences any of the above situations, they should take action as described in this paper to protect themselves and find proper care for domestic violence victims. Behaviour health professionals can treat the psychological issues that cause perpetrators to harm their spouses. Military families also have access to individual or couple counselling services, housing assistance for shelter and legal advice. This paper discusses domestic violence in military families, based on a case study of one such family (Defence Task Force on Domestic Violence, n.d).

A Fictional Military Family Vignette

Sarah is a 41 year old female. The perpetrator was a veteran, her second husband, the first marriage also having been abusive. She has been undergone domestic abuse for over 20 years. She is a Christian and a holder of a college degree in IT. But, she stopped working when her husband forced her to resign from her job and become a ‘housewife’.

Individual and Family Dynamics, Concerns, Challenges and Stressors

Sarah has 6 sons, the youngest three came with her, the older two remained in the marital home with the perpetrator, and this had been their choice, even though the perpetrator was not their father. The oldest son had left home. Sarah had suffered from emotional, physical and sexual abuse, as well as financial abuse and controlling behaviour. She described her husband as ‘very clever and manipulative’ and he is also ex armed forces, and Sarah was clearly very afraid of him. Sarah had no friends, and only elderly parents to support her. She felt that her older children had remained when she fled as they had been poisoned against her by the perpetrator, and they blamed her for leaving. From the day of arrival the perpetrator was constantly on the phone to Sarah, telling her what to do and shouting at her.

Sarah was also meeting the perpetrator to allow contact for the younger children. Shortly after Sarah arrived the perpetrator started court proceedings to take custody of the younger children. At this point Children’s Services became involved due to the child aged 4 remarking at school that his daddy had hurt him. Sarah presented various related issues such as posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). She experiences flashbacks of her abusive relationship, feels unsafe and jumpy and has depression, anxiety, emotional withdrawal, panic attacks, low self-esteem, and helplessness feelings. She felt guilty for not leaving the relationship earlier because of her children and blamed herself for the abuse she her two husbands subjected her to. Sarah also has a history of a traumatic experience during her childhood and never got treatment (Buchanan et al., 2009).

Incorporation of Resiliency

Psychological resilience is an individual’s ability to “bounce back” after going through an adversity such as domestic violence. And, the way victims of domestic violence often survive and thrive after a traumatic experience is amazing and astonishing at the same time. Resilience in an innate human capacity within each person. It can be learned and developed because it is not a trait, but something every human can develop as a skill to walk the path of resilience. According to the Resilience Research Centre, an individual’s human capacity to negotiate and navigate useful resources for the sustainability of their well-being is what is known as resilience. It is a domestic violence victim’s ability to create plans and follow through with them to the latter, manage feelings and impulses and solve problems. It is more than just a skill, but an adaptation (Gewirtz & Youssef, 2016).

Trauma is common in human life, hence part of human experience. That means military family victims of domestic violence can overcome their traumatic experience and attain successful, well-adjusted lives. According to a research conducted by the University of Minnesota researcher...…each victim’s specific symptoms and experiences. They also offer help for the violence victim, the perpetrator and even witnesses who, in most cases, are children (Stark, 2011).

The counsellors also tend to intimate partner violence survivors who have moved on, but still experience the effect of the trauma such as flashbacks or nightmares. They help domestic violence victims and survivors to feel good about themselves even in the face of the adversity or their negative feelings. They can recover and engage in happy relationships and live happy lives despite their horrific experience in the past. They are strong and resourceful enough to have overcome their adversities. Counsellors also help victims recognize that they are being abused because some take verbal, psychological and other non-physical forms of abuse as normal. They develop strong relationships with the victims to enable them open up about their abusive experiences without feeling guilt, embarrassed, fearful, ashamed or worrying about what the counsellor will think about them (Taft et al., 2016).

They use the right words that do not hurt the feelings of victims, especially if they are unaware of being abused. They help them recognize the existence of an abuse without telling them. The professional can use intimidation, threats and coercion, economic abuse, isolation, denying, blaming, emotional abuse and minimizing to help victims recognize that they are being abused. The victim’s beliefs are only challenged using open-ended questions after the counsellor ascertains that their client has recognized abuse in their relationships. The professionals must be patient with victims during treatment and only move forward at their pace even when in disagreement. They also help domestic violence victims understand the differences between domestic violence or any other form of abuse and healthy relationships. However, it is possible for the counsellors and other mental health professionals, including the general public to marginalize domestic violence victims. Sometimes, they do not believe their abuse stories or take them seriously (WALSH, 2018).

Conclusion

Various stressors explain military life and its impact on veterans and their families. Mental health professionals are only beginning to understand these stressors. Military families, just like any other, experience domestic violence among other forms of abuse. Various resources have been put in place to help victims of abuse overcome their traumatic experiences. Ranging from cognitive behavioral therapy to mindfulness therapy, victims have access to various interventions. There are also programs in place to help them access medical care, counselling, shelter and other services. Counsellors also help them develop resiliency to overcome their traumatic experiences and begin living happier lives. Counseling is not just offered to the victims, but their entire families. Trained resiliency counsellors have so much to bring on the table to help military family victims of violence. For instance, they help them recognize that they are under abuse and teach them to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Victims of domestic violence can overcome their horrific experience and live happy lives. All they need is counselling and support from their friends and family.…