Narrative From the Life of an International Student
If my life were a fairy tale, it would not begin with the words "once upon a time, in a land far, far away." To many Americans, Lebanon seems like a land very far away from what they know. Most Americans have heard of Lebanon in terms of its existence as a war-torn nation. They read about it in the newspapers in phrases, along the lines of "because of Israeli-Palestinian conflicts, the nation of Lebanon became drawn into the contentious issues at stake between these two warring peoples." Or, they hear about Lebanon in terms of phrases, such as "in the war-torn nation of Lebanon, the inhabitants were horrified by the destruction that the civil war caused, in political and societal terms."
To me, Lebanon is not a land far, far away, and the civil war is a part of my history, not the only aspect of my history. Lebanon to me is also the land of my family, my faith, and my parents. It is part of my cultural tradition. In my eyes, Lebanon is not a sky streaked with the fire of bombs. In my eyes, Lebanon is a land full of mountains. When I close my eyes and think of my land, I smell the familiar spices of my favorite foods, not the smoke from bombs. When I dream about my home country, I think of the laughter and familiar language of friends and family and popular local gathering places. I lived, not in a place that formed a black and white space on a newspaper headline, but in a land of human beings I loved.
The infamous name of Lebanon has made it difficult for me, at times, living in the United States. When people ask me, "where do you come from, your...
I often try to stop them from prejudging me, stating with a forced laugh "as if it were not shocking enough that I am not a natural-born American, I come from Lebanon as well."
Of course, growing up in a nation with such a difficult history was hard for me at times. I was not an integral part of the worst aspects of the civil conflict there. But growing up in such a nation that has had such an unstable history has often made me feel unstable in my sense of place and self. Rather than always feeling assured, as an American, that my country will always be there, be strong in its sense of government and structure, I always feel slightly in doubt. I am proud of my homeland, but I can never go to sleep knowing that it has stood sound and secure for three hundred years of recent history, and will do so in the foreseeable future.
However, despite Lebanon's political instability, I am proud of its rich cultural tradition. This is one similarity between Lebanon and the United States. Both nations are the site of many nations, national identities, and faiths. Lebanon contains Christians and Muslims within its national fabric. It boasts individuals of both European and Arabic ancestry, as well as from many other ethnic groups, as part of its community. So does the United States. Learning English was difficult in terms of picking up words of slang particular to America, but I was used to living amid the buzz of many languages, including French and Arabic.
The international nature of Lebanon meant that it was not as…
