The advantages and disadvantages of online dating services

Online Dating

Collecting

There are two sides to every coin, and likewise, synonymous to a coin with two sides, online dating has its pros and cons. The question therefore, which weigh more, the advantages or the disadvantages. Let us probe deeper. Today's fast paced lifestyle, where career has taken its toil, has left millions of people single; but with the emergence of online dating, where convenience is the name of the game. Before now, the quest to find love has never was never been this easy until now. Imagine, happiness, fun, excitement; all mixed up with blended with the fact that you are having to invest very little, so little investment, both emotionally and financially. With a vast array of profiles to choose from all around the globe, patterned to your specific criteria of compatibility, most dating web sites make it where a person can do all of these while in the comfort of their home, regardless of time, how they look, what they wear, and how much money they are willing to sacrifice. Indeed, the online dating appears to present the best of both worlds. "Online dating has shed its stigma as matchmaker for the awkward (Goodwin 1990) to claim a new prominence in the social lives of millions of users. In August 2003 alone, 40 million unique users visited online dating sites in the United States alone, according to U.S. News & World Report -- that's about half the number of single adults in the U.S. Given their prevalence, it seems likely that online dating systems have begun to influence not only individual lives but also cultural notions of love and attraction with their overflowing catalogues of potential partners and their sometimes idiosyncratic choices of personal characteristics to highlight. But despite the incredible number of people using these services, we know little about how users perceive each other and interact through these mediated channels, or how such technologies might affect their selection of partners for dating, sex, and marriage "(Online dating research at Berkeley). From there, in today's fast paced hectic world single people are using the Internet to meet people. Many factors of the online dating phenomenon influence the chance of these "meetings" actually becoming a successful or non-successful relationship.

The internet

Internet companies place advertisements on the web to draw people in. It provides a way for people to be deceptive by completing a profile, which contains information about the prospect. The information that is included in the profile is not always true; it is possible that the profile is of a dirty old man or a very smart teen. Online dating is, in essence, based on one-dimensional, information on a flat computer screen whereas people are multi-faceted (Baker, a.J., 2005).

Since the Internet has become popular and a way to access information, including free music, it has hinder the music industry because people are not buying as much, considering their free access. The impact of the Internet is very damaging to some industries that they see the copyright laws to be very important. Until the Internet, when coping other people's material for personal use, it was considered legal because it was not for selling purposes. However, due to the Internet, the legal system has decided there are restrictions to that law. This is due to the fact that people were accessing other people's material from a third party, which was clearly violating copyright laws. However, the internet has increased and changed the expectations of subcultures, which have been around for thirty years. Furthermore, it has given people a place to find common ground with their music and style that is an expression of their emotions even it is not about who they are From there, when conducting interview it is clear that MySpace has become a social networking place where 'youths can be themselves even escape reality.

With that, mySpace gives subcultures a chance to grow into a bigger aspect of youths lives. This is because music is the only way to get through to people at times due to the fact it hits them in the soul and their spirituality. Social networking web sites make that opportunity for music more possible due to the fact that millions of people access the internet everyday.

Another reason MySpace is so popular is that it gives you the freedom to express yourself without the limitations of other social networking sites, like Friendster, where there seems to be a focus on keeping things under control and nice, and users can't customize their profiles quite to the same degree as they can on MySpace. MySpace has tapped into the alternative music scene, and so has attracted a hip, young crowd with profiles that are edgier and more diverse. A quick browse of MySpace profiles demonstrates that users really are free to express themselves however they please. You'll come across everyone from musicians, to bikers, to Goths, to pagans, to plain old computer nerds, and of course everyone in between. You'll also notice that some people seem quite uninhibited online. For example, you'll find pictures of people showing off their tattoos -- as you can see in Figure 1-2.With MySpace becoming a part of the News Limited media empire, the new management has made a push to clean things up, although of course MySpace is still relatively "cool." ("MySpace").

Furthermore, through research, it has been discovered most ethnic groups that live in the United States consist of young people, which means by staying in this country, they grow accustom to their surroundings. Once they have grown accustom to living here, they feel like this is their home to start a life with their own families. This continues the growing number of ethnic groups in this country. From there, the internet is where different areas of youth cultural resistance are apparent in community. The online production is evident and in the same virtual space, which culture operated by power groups associated with the Internet exists that encourages subcultures to grow. An important ethnographic approach is vital in sensitizing scholars to this broader context that youth groups. There is struggle in relation to notions of hegemony and ideology described earlier, which leads to the questions about if youth cultural resistance are actually effectively challenging power groups ("Music Education Research"). Therefore, there has been research conducted that there only a few groups of people that can handle the different types of messages that are written on the internet. This brings subcultures together with their common interests.

Underlying research on topics such as these is a commitment to understand 'whose knowledge counts' and understanding the Internet as a space where battles between different message producers and knowledge claims play out. This sort of research contributes to a body of work in education focused around the diffusion of knowledge from and through various media. Ultimately, by considering how more conventional approaches to studying social groups' relationships with and use of the Internet (as an interactive, global medium) and the social-political context that Internet use takes place within, a better understanding of media, youth and resistance, and cultural experience into the twenty-first century can be approached ("Music Education Research").

Online dating

For online dating to work, people have to be honest in their profiles and who they are communicating with. If one of the parties involved is honest and provides a lot of information about themselves and even looks like the photo provided the counter-part may not be as honest. It is possible for people to get involved with perverts, liars, stalkers, or even serial killers. Whirlwind romances have been established by way of the online dating scene; time and money is spent attempting to get to know someone who communicates only by computer and if a meeting does take place it is always possible that neither party will measure up to the other party's actual expectations, now everyone involved leaves disappointed and disillusioned (Cheever, Cummings, Felt, Rosen, 2007).

Online dating service providers: While the speed of their courtship is rare, what is not is the way they met. Online dating, with match.com and eharmony.com, there is all joys and dangers, which has become the decade's hottest way for singles to connect. At Eharmony "Second, to the degree you can try not to see these relationships as "rejections." My guess is that very soon you will be the one who says to some great lady, "This doesn't quite work for me." It won't be because she's a bad person or is unlovable. You just won't feel the chemistry. Every date you go on with an eHarmony match is a kind of trial run. You're seeing how the relationship feels for you. Talking together. Walking together. Maybe even being romantic; holding hands; kissing good night. These are ways to investigate the chemistry you share. Just because a few women didn't sense the chemistry they needed doesn't mean that the next woman won't be crazy about you. It happens all the time" (Advice from Eharmony, 2008). From online personals to cyber-chat rooms and message boards, lonely daters are using the Internet to meet new people and find love (Culbreth,2005).

Every year, more people are meeting on the Internet," says Diane Costa, founder of Love American Style.com, a matchmaking site for professionals that will debut Valentine's Day. "People are getting more and more comfortable with the idea of online dating. It is like television. When it first came out, some people said, 'You need to get a TV,' while others said, 'It is not going to last.' Well, TV is everywhere and Internet dating is too." Costa speaks from experience. While living in California, some friends encouraged her to place an online personal ad. She got plenty of responses though none caught her heart, but the model says the Internet helped her to find happiness another way. When she met a Detroit lawyer at a California house warming, they stayed in touch over the next eight months through the computer (Downey, 1997).

In 1998, Americans spent $1.3 billion on computer hardware, software, and online services, according to Target Market News, a Chicago-based research firm that monitors consumer habits. That's a 44% jump in computer-related spending from the previous year. There's no way of knowing how much of that sum went toward Internet dating services, but the popularity of sites such as and match.com, which soared from 3,000-page views or hits in its first month of operation to an average of 5 million hits each month, reveals a growing willingness of daters to give computer love a try (Downey, 1997).

The success of Internet dating does not surprise Target Market News president Ken Smikle. "It's a great way to meet," he says. "The traditional ways of meeting people are not disappearing; they are being enhanced and supplemented by what the Internet brings to relationships (Platt, 2001).

The typical chat room is as diverse as anything can get, on all facets, virtually. A chat room is comprised of European-Americans, Hispanics, Native Americans, Asian-Americans and African-Americans. This does not stop at race or ethnicity, however that diversity triggers even more "sub-diversities," such as attitude, religion, socioeconomic, behavioral factors and even in points-of-view. It is almost as if the chat room a forum of youths since almost everyone is not only entitled to speak out their thoughts and sentiments. Americans are urged to speak out their thoughts due to the fact that exchanging of ideas is very common. For in the chat room interactions like that denote the capacity or incapacity of a person to declare his or her identity; opinion is the most prevalent thing personally possessed by individuals They may be diverse in about almost anything, but opinion and opinionating comprise the common ground they stand on. At this point, it is obvious that the online chat room is the embodiment, the melting point of all cultures and aspirations. However, all these possess embedded sub-factors and social construct (Gackenbach, 2007).

The new chat format changed the dynamics of interactions among the participants. When the participants in myspace, it led them to think of informal social gatherings that resembled "a tea party" with multiple small conversations. Their informal chat changed into a formal class meeting within the dynamics of their group. The participants discussed possible ways of reducing frustration and problems stemming from a lack of structure. As adolescents took responsibility for changing their online activities, the social role changed more for them. This is due to the fact they are taking on responsibilities of sending out a pre-selected topic for each meeting, and opening and managing chat rooms. By taking on a manager's role, the adolescent filled long waiting periods between turns-at-talk that resulted primarily from the participants' slow typing skills and limited English proficiency. From there, they co-constructed their online chat interactions was based on social roles that they played in the community social networking practices (Shin 2006)

This technology gave shy and unconfident people the chance to participate and converse at their own pace. This allowed them not to be intimidated by how other adolescents look at them in a social setting. People who did not complete their discussion due to the shortage of time had another chance by doing so on the discussion forums on the websites. Along with that, audio chat rooms are also a way of speaking and debating about various topics, which gives the experience of stimulated authentic communication. This helped people to develop communication skills in arguing, persuading, or defending a particular point (Singhal, 1997).

The Internet is giving new flavor to romance. Instead of hooking up in nightclubs and gyms, singles also can meet interesting prospects without leaving home.you've said this earlier - this is a good place for testimonials / case studies on the Internet, the world becomes a 'virtual' meeting ground. Single can connect through online personals or find their soul mate by chatting in topic rooms about the upcoming Presidential race or who the best chef is on the Food Network. Some people even have first dates and begin to court -- by sending their sweetie virtual flowers and electronic greeting cards -- all before seeing his or her face.

Social support

From there, it is apparent that people get social support from the internet to date.

Therefore, if people have socially supportive arrangements as the attributes of socially legitimate roles which provide for the meeting dependency needs without loss of esteem, they are less likely to show aggression while suppressing destructive behavior. From there, socially supportive environments were presented as pattern interpersonal relationships mediated through shared values and sentiments as well as facilitate the performance of social roles through which needs are met. In summation, social support has been defined as an intervening factor tied directly to the coping process (Pearson, 1986).

It gives people the confidence to making a positive change and testing their limits when they know they have a community of support they can call upon. Social support refers to social interactions that are perceived by the recipient to facilitate coping and assist in responding to stress (House, & Landis, 2003).

Social support is related to healthier functioning people. Support, as a construct, has been defined as a sense of belonging, specifically among peers, teammates, community or family members. People that report strong social support/low isolation exhibit higher levels of resilience and lower levels of depression. People are also less likely to be depressed if they perceive their family, friends, and peers to be more accepting, and if they have more positive friendships. Those who feel supported by others who share the same interests exhibit healthier coping mechanisms and maintain a more positive outlook about their future. In contrast, youths who lack social support and experience isolation may behave in self-injurious ways (Rutter 2004).

In reconsidering issues of social identity and forms of collective expression within the framework of neo-tribes, the related concept of 'lifestyle' provides a useful basis for a revised understanding of how individual identities are constructed and lived out. 'Lifestyle' describes the sensibilities employed by the individual in choosing certain commodities and patterns of consumption and in articulating these cultural resources as modes of personal expression (Chaney 1994, 1996). In this way, a lifestyle is 'a freely chosen game' and should not be confused with a 'way of life', the latter being 'typically associated with a more-or-less stable community' (Kellner 1992:158; Chaney 1994:92). ("SUBCULTURES or NEO-TRIBES? RETHINKING the RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOUTH, STYLE and MUSICAL TASTE").

Support will be more helpful in improving a person's quality of life by understanding their psychosocial stress load, which is something traditional dating cannot provide due to like of multiple human opinions.. Some people feel helpless, hopeless, depressed, isolated from others, belittled, and do not know how to seek appropriate help from others (Rutter 2004). Socially supportive arrangements were addressed as the attributes of socially legitimate roles which provide for the meeting dependency needs without loss of esteem. Socially supportive environments were presented as pattern interpersonal relationships mediated through shared values and sentiments as well as facilitate the performance of social roles through which needs are met. In summation, social support has been defined as an intervening factor tied directly to the coping process of being an online dating person (Pearson, 1986). With that knowledge, it can be seen that support can be found within online dating for people, which can help with their development of their romantic relationship (Marshall, 1956).

Of interest in this study is how the participants carried out interpersonal relationship management behaviors using features provided by these systems.Participants described how new relationships between people can develop, and how existing relationships are maintained by regular contact and sharing of new information. Participants also discussed what steps they took to avoid interaction with people they did not want contact with. There were examples of all of these components of relationship management, carried out using functions provided by these systems ("Digital Relationships in the 'MySpace' Generation: Results From a Qualitative Study").

Regardless of the differences in definition, social support has been the subject of behavioral research for over two decades and the universal outcome has been that social support has therapeutic value in mental and physical health. The majority of studies have been correlational, and so statements about cause and effect remain tenuous. Nevertheless, it is the consensus that social support is a key situation moderator of or buffer to the effects of psychosocial stressors (Pearson, 1986).

In these cases, the differences comprise the situation and at the same time, they also are components that can form the solution; society is the problem, society is also the solution. Countless of facets under the study of behavior inside an online chat room are yet to be tackled and given emphasis, and it seems likely that the solution lies within the situation, which means online dating provides support to people that are into finding a solid romantic relationship. Despite the issues, diversity enables any study or observation of online dating to be theoretical. However, the internet does not overlook multiculturalism and diversity, which makes virtual dating possible.

The effects of online dating

It has been discussed that online dating has expanded with diverse groups of people connecting due to personal experiences, music and lifestyle. The internet has changed the whole world, which has been seen by the rest of the world as opportunity where all nationalities and races meet. This problem would not have aroused studies and researches a few centuries ago. This study would not have been conducted with other technology. For any other nationality, race, culture and language, the probability of encountering the benefits of subcultures are due to countless causes - immigration, preservation of heritage of immigrants, racial and ethnic differences, and cultural differences to name a few. Internet conversations provide a useful learning tool for youths in subcultures. This is because even though such conversations may take place across thousands of miles, and between people who have never met except on the Internet, they are social activities, and social activities tend to engage youths' interests (Lee, 2000, p.2). From there, it is very apparent technology will bring the following conclusion to online dating through internet, which concludes myspace and other social networking websites are a part of the foundation of a modern day romance.

Being an American individual does not necessarily mean that you are of white, black, red, brown, or yellow complexion, which signify race. The term "American" has no racial insinuations for virtually all Americans trace their roots from distinct nationalities, races and ethnic groups and this complication alone can cause innumerable perplexed things. But because of the fact that America had evolved into its present status, all sorts of studies need to be carried out for the purpose of solving the problem. The analysis of the people of America is only one of the countless implications brought about by the evolution of America itself.

In this paper, it has been discussed that online dating has been defined as the modern way of finding romance. However, with the age of the internet, it has become social support for people that have common interest beyond the standard of it. Furthermore, with the internet that has increase the use of technology, Internet, dating now takes place in the virtual world as well. Following the growth of myspace and other social network sites, subculture has become more accessible and less exclusive to people in general. In this research, the main question was set up to research what extent people who are into the dating scene participate and engage in dating related activities on social network sites such as MySpace and the attitude they hold towards MySpace.

Conclusion

To put a vivid end to this deliberation, there is no precise conclusion in any study or research that can suffice all queries concerning the cultural and behavioral bases of youth subcultures without peer support. It has been proven that when peers of the same common interest are involved, people express themselves much better. This is due to the fact that they feel like they have that support that they need especially when they are from a different culture. The progressions of credentials, assessment, categorization, placement, and instruction have truly meant to put down their cultural and linguistic differences. In these cases, the differences comprise the situation and at the same time, they also are components that can form the solution; society is the problem, society is also the solution. Countless of facets under the study of behavior inside an online chat room are yet to be tackled and given emphasis, and it seems likely that the solution lies within the situation, which means subcultures provides support to youths that are into a particular style of music. Despite the issues, diversity enables any study or observation of subcultures to be theoretical. However, the internet does not overlook multiculturalism and diversity, which means in order people to have a good well-rounded experience with finding romance, they need to have a nurturing support system in their development. It can be concluded that this support system can supplied by subcultures through the internet since it reaches a wider audience, which is around a diverse world that contains different types of youths. From there, online dating defines modern day romance by the people it contains through different medias that have grown and changed over the last decade, which means it included different movements that represented one's support and spirituality.

Platt, K., Rogers, a., Stone, B.

2001). Love Online.

Newsweek, 137, 46.

This article touches on the impact that online dating now has in society and the importance of it for certain dating groups such as mature dater, single parents and homosexuals. Emma324, an online dater, states, "As you get older, you know fewer and fewer people who aren't married. However, go online and there are hundreds of people who are single. It makes you feel lone." Emma324 does not have much to worry about; online research firm Media Matrix says the number of online daters increased from 3.4 million in December 1999 to 5 million in December 2000.

Cheever, N., Cummings, C., Felt, J., Rosen, L. (2007). The impact of emotionality and self-disclosure on online dating vs. traditional dating. Computers in Human Behavior, 10, 34-39.

This article examines the online dating process and compares it to traditional dating and impact it has on the emotionality and self-disclosure of the daters. The article states that traditional dating processes and patterns take longer then those of online daters and this can influence the success of the relationship of the potential partners.

Whitty, M. (2007). Revealing the "real" me, searching for the "actual" you: Presentation of self on an internet-dating site. Computers in Human Behavior, 8, 25-27.

This article considers how online daters present themselves on internet dating sites. Thirty men and thirty women were asked how they construct their bios and how they viewed other's bios.

Ellison, N., Gibbs, J., Heino, R. (2006). Self-presentation in online personals: the role of anticipated future interaction, self-disclosure, and perceived success in internet dating. Communication Research, 33, 152.

This study investigates self-disclosure and the anticipated positive outcome in the context of online dating. A national random sample of match.com members were tested. The authors found that honesty was not always the best way to get a "wink." Those with pictures got more feedback then those without. Bios that talked less about the person and more about what they wanted in a potential mate were the ones that were responded to the most.

Ellison, N., Hancock, J., Toma, C. (2007). The truth about lying in online dating profiles. The Guide to Computing Literature, 21, 449-452.

This study interviewed 80 online daters and compared their actual height, weight, and age to their online profile. The authors found that deception was clear and that the motivation to deceive was different by gender.

Leck, K. (2006). Dynamics of internet dating. Social Science Computer Review, 24, 189-208.

This article explores the motivation of daters, their dating styles, and how they negotiated problems of trust and deception. The study included men and women who met online. They were asked about what made them go online to find a potential mate. The development of trust online and the risk they assume by creating an "online" relationship and how successful the outcome was when the online daters met in the real world.

Hitsch, G. (2004). What makes you click? An empirical analysis of online dating. eScholarship Repository, 47, 210-212.

The researchers of this article explain why some people are more likely to be contacts during online dating then others based on their physical features and social standing. The researchers examined 23,000 online dater's socioeconomic and demographic information along with their website activity. Some information that was found was women with short hair received less hits while woman with long blonde hair received the most hits.

Baker, a.J. (2005). Double click: Romance and commitment among online couples. Cresskill, N.J.: Hampton Press.

ISBN-10: 1572736062

ISBN-13: 978-1572736061

Andrea Baker finds that people who participate in online relationships are not desperate, lonely, ugly, sex addicts and child molesters; despite common depictions. Baker interviewed and tracked 89 couples that met online and started a relationship. Some of these failed, others did not. The participants filled out her extensive two part survey and gave her a tremendous store of first-hand information. The study finds that online partners find each other in social settings, talk and grow their relationship in private, encounter obstacles, overcome some of them, and make decisions about their futures.

The major finding here is that there are considerable and demonstrable benefits to a relationship which starts online. The data collected from the 89 couples will allow me to introduce how commitment and romance translate from the cyber world to reality.

Ben-Ze'ev, a. (2004). Love online: Emotions on the internet. Cambridge; New York: Cambridge University Press.

ISBN-10: 0521832969

ISBN-13: 978-0521832960

Computers have changed not just the way we work but the way we love. Falling in and out of love, flirting, cheating, and even having sex online have all become part of the modern way of living and loving. Yet we know very little about these new types of relationship. Ben Ze'ev addresses how an online affair where the two people are involved may never see or meet each other different from an affair in the real world? Does online sex still involve cheating on your partner? Why do people tell complete strangers their most intimate secrets? What are the rules of engagement and monogamy?

Culbreth, Judsen (2005). The Boomer's Guide to Online Dating.

ISBN-10: 1594862257

ISBN-13: 978-1594862250

Culbreth has more than 30 years of experience in magazines and TV journalism, serving as editor-in-chief of Working Mother, executive editor of Redbook, and the first work/family contributing editor on the Today show. Her book combines research; how-to advice; quizzes, exercises and personal success stories that include the meeting of her second husband from an online dating service.

This book explores the differences among the various internet dating sites and how to compose and online personal ad and when to meet in person. This comparative gives me some insight on what women really want from a relationship forged from the net.

Gackenbach, Jayne (2007). Psychology and the Internet: Intrapersonal, interpersonal, and transpersonal implications (2nd ed.).

ISBN-10: 0122719506

ISBN-13: 978-0122719509

Gackenbach explores the psychological considerations to using the internet and the internet's effects upon the user. This second edition explores how children use the Internet and how this exposure may be shaping their social development. Coverage also includes the effect of child exposure to pornography, predators online and bullying online and the tendency for people to more readily self-disclose in an online environment.

This book explores the extensive coverage of socialization online including coverage of online dating practices, blogs, and sex online. Sociological research is also explored as to how people meet and work together online, computer mediated communication, and virtual work teams.

Marshall, Jonathan Paul (1956). Living on Cybermind: categories, communication, and control / Jonathan Paul Marshall.

ISBN-10: 0820495131

ISBN-13: 978-0820495132

This book discusses relations with in and between groups and the virtual life and experience. It also explores moods, fragmentation and the mobilization of gender and politics and the construction of the online community.

This resource allows me to source relationships with in the virtual world. It also allows me to understand and explore the gender variation on the net. Finally, I will have a basis of the construction and infrastructure of the online community.