Oral History: My Taiwanese Family Through the Generations In my Taiwanese family, one strong, connecting thread has always been the need to respect one's elders and to honor the family traditions. While in other cultures, individualism is stressed as an important value, in the Taiwanese tradition the individual is only as great as the generosity and respect he or she shows to relatives and loved ones. This is reflective of the Confucian system of values which stresses the need for children to show respect to their parents and to fulfill their obligations to them. Both my mother and my grandmother stated that outright disobedience as a child would not have been tolerated even though I, as part of my awareness of American cultural traditions, have been more apt to question and challenge what I have been told to do. Still, I do so in a respectful manner: I cannot imagine shouting and slamming the door to end an argument, unlike some teenagers!

Of course, some things have changed. For the older women of my family, marriage was the focus of their lives. My grandmother has many memories of being taught as a little girl to cook and clean by her own mother, in preparation for her marriage. Even though my mother received an education, she was always taught that marriage and raising children was the most important facet of a woman's life. In contrast, my female relatives my own age and slightly older view marriage and family is only one component among many in their lives: some are...

Although the younger women in the family may not be as eager to have children and do not see winning a husband as their most important goal in life, all members of my family -- male or female -- tend to remain in very frequent contact with their nuclear and extended family, calling them frequently and asking their opinions about various issues. Some of these conversations may be about serious matters; others may simply be about what to serve on a holiday. Regardless, my family is a very happy, large, functioning unit and there are few boundaries between us, no matter how old or young we might be.
Because all members of my family are so close-knit they are often reluctant to talk about personal issues outside of the family. Even in my own upbringing, I do not remember being openly reprimanded in the store or school: everything was done privately, behind closed doors. In the case of older members of my family, disobedience was simply not tolerated. Confucianism often is called a religion of ancestor worship or veneration of the past, and I see traces of that throughout my family history: even those who are not actively religious are very careful about not overtly offending members of the family or showing a loss of face in public regards to family pride. When something bad happens to one of us, whether it is a bad grade or job loss, we not only think of ourselves but how it…