Welfare Mental Health Problems and Essay

Excerpt from Essay :

Consistent with this, other findings propose that women are more likely than men to take part in violence in the home whereas men are more likely than women to take part in violence in public places.

Even though there is some evidence that mental illness is associated with violence, it appears that the bigger contributing factor is that of outside influences. Substance abuse appears to be the greatest contributing factor, but it can be something as insignificant as one's living arrangements or even just their gender. Overall people with mental health problems do not appear to be at an increased risk of violence.


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Part B

1) What differentiated higher quality example essays from lower quality example essays?

Higher quality example essays are ones that are well organized and written in paragraph form so that they are easy to follow. Lower quality example essays are ones that are not written so that they can be followed and are all over the place in what they are trying to say. This make is very difficult to know exactly what they author is trying to say.

The good essay examples started with an introduction paragraph so that the reader knows what to expect in the essay. This was followed by individual paragraphs that focused on a single idea that supported the thesis. Each paragraph began with a topic sentence, followed by support statements with evidence, in order to make the authors ideas clear and sensible. The higher quality essays appeared as if the author was talking to the reader instead of just writing.

The authors of the higher quality essays tried to use language that was easily understandable so that the reader knew what was being talked about. If there were concepts that were difficult these were defined so that the reader could understand. The higher quality essays also had a good conclusion that summarized what had been presented in the preceding paragraphs and then brought all the ideas to an end.

Overall the higher quality essays were well organized and flowed so that the reader could easily understand. The poorer quality ones were very jumbled and hard to follow. There was no good paragraph structure and no clarity to the ideas that were being presented. In the end the poorer quality ones were hard to read and difficult to figure out as to exactly what was being presented.

(2) How did you use the knowledge gained from critiquing the example essays help to prepare and structure your essay?

Critiquing the example essays was a very good exercise to do so that I could see how the structure of an essay makes a big difference to what the reader gets out of it. An essay that is not well organized and is hard to follow does not do a good job at conveying any message to the reader at all. On the other hand, a well organized essay that has an introduction, a body and a conclusion gives the reader a better chance to understand what the author is trying to say.

When writing my essay I knew that I needed a good introduction that gave the reader an expectation of what the essay was going to be about. This needed to be followed by evidence supporting the topics being talked about. The essay need to end with a good conclusion paragraph that wrapped up what had been talked about and brought the essay to a good ending point.

Having this structure in mind helped me to do research so that I knew what information I had to have and where it needed to go in the essay. This definitely help when finding the information that I wanted to include and then developing a structure for the essay. It helped me to organize the information into paragraphs and make sure that they were presented in an order that made the flow of information understandable.

When writing my essay I wanted to make sure that I presented an essay that was structured to be easy to read and understandable. There does not seem to be much sense in writing something that no one can read and understand. This is not only a…

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