Bans on Gay Adoption: Prejudice That Harms Children

Introduction: The Adoption Crisis and the Case for Inclusion

Many gay men and women today are raising children side by side with straight families. They attend PTA meetings, argue about homework, and share family dinners. Yet, despite the urgent need for good families for children who lack parents, same-sex couples are often stymied in the adoptive process. The most important factor in placing children must be the welfare of the child — not the sexuality of the prospective parents.

In the United States, there are far more children available for adoption than there are families ready, able, and qualified to adopt them. Compounding this crisis, some prospective families are looking abroad rather than adopting domestically. Meanwhile, one group of people is routinely turned away from the process entirely: gay men and women. As a society, we need to understand why we deny gay men and women the opportunity to become parents — and, in doing so, deny children a stable home and the unconditional love that every child deserves.

Supply, Demand, and the Need for Adoptive Families

The "market" for adoptive children is subject to many unpredictable forces of supply and demand. While demand for infants of certain ethnic backgrounds is high, the demand for parents willing to take in high-risk children is equally pressing. Many prospective parents are reluctant to adopt older children, children with special needs, or openly gay and lesbian adolescents. Economic downturns have intensified this pressure in many regions. "In Michigan, more than 16,000 children are in foster care, with approximately 41% of those hailing from Macomb, Oakland, and Wayne counties. Fueled in part by a tight local and national economy, these offices now handle more than 2,400 annual complaints, 2,000 investigations, and 760 additional, confirmed cases of neglect and abuse" (MacLeod 2011). The stresses of a struggling economy place additional strain on families, and "the need for foster and adoptive families is immense" in economically depressed states such as Michigan (Carpenter 2007).

Given such high levels of demand, it is absurd that children without families should lack love and stability simply because the only individuals available to care for them happen to be gay, lesbian, or transgender. Consider two ordinary people with fairly extraordinary qualifications, both of whom are already contributing to their communities:

Rebecca Meiksin, 22, is white, middle-class, and college-educated, with plans to earn a graduate degree in public health. Terrance McGeorge, 20, is Black, grew up in the Hill District, holds a high school diploma, and works in an AmeriCorps service program at Beginning With Books (Carpenter 2007).

Both are the children of gay parents. Contrary to the stereotype that children raised by gay parents are more likely to be gay themselves or to experience difficulties, study after study indicates that "outcomes for children of gay and lesbian parents are no better — and no worse — than for other children, whether the measures involve peer group relationships, self-esteem, behavioral difficulties, academic achievement, or warmth and quality of family relationships" (Carpenter 2007). Other factors — including parental involvement, emotional warmth, and economic stability — are far more predictive of a child's success than the sexual orientation of the parents (Carpenter 2007).

In fact, a San Francisco adoption agency launched a publicity campaign designed to match LGBT children with parents or foster parents who would understand their needs. It is estimated that of the 10,000 children in foster care in the Bay Area, some 15% may be LGBT (Knowles 2007). While the campaign was not exclusively aimed at same-sex couples, its initial outreach focused on the gay community, even as "non-LGBT parents are very willing to parent LGBT youth" (Knowles 2006). This example illustrates why adoption placement decisions must be driven by the unique circumstances of each family, not by a predetermined, one-size-fits-all policy.

What Research Shows About Children of Same-Sex Parents

It is not only gay and lesbian advocacy groups that support allowing same-sex couples to adopt. Major professional medical organizations committed to child welfare — including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, and the American Psychiatric Association — "have issued statements claiming that a parent's sexual orientation is irrelevant to his or her ability to raise a child" (Carpenter 2007).

A literature review of 67 studies conducted under the auspices of the American Psychological Association found that children of same-sex couples share far more similarities than differences with children of heterosexual couples. A "2001 meta-analysis of those studies found that the sexual orientation of a parent is irrelevant to the development of a child's mental health and social development and to the quality of a parent-child relationship" (Carpenter 2007). The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, which surveyed 12,000 high school students, similarly found comparable outcomes for children of gay and heterosexual parents (Carpenter 2007).

The only studies to reveal meaningful differences between the two groups have, if anything, shown positive results for children of gay couples. Daughters of lesbian mothers, for example, "are more likely to aspire to professions that are traditionally considered male, like doctors or lawyers — 52% in one study said that was their goal, compared with 21% of daughters of heterosexual mothers, who are still more likely to say they want to be nurses or teachers when they grow up" (Belkin 2009). Among boys, 95% from both types of families were more likely to select traditionally masculine occupations (Belkin 2009). This difference may be largely attributable to the fact that girls raised by lesbian parents have not had stereotypes about women's lack of empowerment reinforced at home.

It is also worth noting the diversity already present within same-sex parent-headed households. Today, 6% of same-sex parents have an adopted child — a remarkable figure given that some adoption agencies report encountering gay couples who are still unaware that they are legally permitted to adopt at all (Carpenter 2007; Knowles 2006). Furthermore, 45% of same-sex parents are either Black or Latino (Carpenter 2007), and the numbers of gay parents continue to grow: approximately 1 in 5 male same-sex couples and 1 in 3 female same-sex couples are now raising children, up from 1 in 20 male couples and 1 in 5 female couples in 1990 (Belkin 2011).

Works Cited

Almanzar, Yolanne. "Florida gay adoption ban is ruled unconstitutional." The New York Times. 26 Nov. 2008.

Belkin, Lisa. "What's good for the kids." The New York Times. 11 Aug. 2009.

Carpenter, Mackenzie. "What happens to kids whose parents are gay?" Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. 10 June 2007.

Greenblatt, Alan. "Fewer babies available for adoption." NPR. 17 Nov. 2011.

Knowles, Catherine. "Pro-gay adoption." Pink News. 23 Mar. 2006.

MacLeod, Maryanne Kocis. "Families and agencies promote the rewards and demand for more foster families." Macomb Daily. 16 Oct. 2011.