The Church as a Forgiving Community: Healing Through Restoration

Summary of Magnuson and Enright's Research

The article by Magnuson and Enright points out that empirical studies have proven that when a person is forgiven or honestly seeks forgiveness, this act helps that person's self-esteem and decreases depression, anger, and anxiety. The article reviews the history of forgiveness in religion and illustrates the benefits of one person forgiving another. On page 115, the authors discuss an intervention called restorative justice, where the offender and the victim come together so the offender can see and hear how the other was hurt. This is a compelling model to follow, but the authors emphasize that if we do not teach children the value of forgiveness, an entire generation of people will not pursue this path.

According to Magnuson and Enright, forgiveness will not work until the individual reduces anger and has "committed to forgive" (p. 117). One must first decide to forgive. For the person receiving forgiveness in a church context, that person is to some degree at the mercy of the victim, although the authors note that demanding forgiveness is not part of the process. The person offering forgiveness should recollect how they also offended or harmed another person, recognizing that we are all subject to mistakes and flaws. On page 118, the pastor is identified as the leader in any intervention involving forgiveness. The pastor must preach sermons—at least five annually—on the importance of forgiveness and must educate the church staff as well.

The article identifies several actors who must play a role in a "Forgiving Community": lay volunteers, singles, married couples, families, the music minister, the children's minister, and the youth minister. All must be educated, trained, and must practice the art of forgiveness. The authors assert (p. 121) that education of all these groups and individuals must take place for fifteen weeks each year. This demands that forgiveness be taken very seriously, but the authors argue this is the only way the model will succeed.

By emphasizing a major role of the church—including families, children, the pastor, singles, the music minister, and youth ministries—as one centered on forgiveness, this represents a refreshing perspective. Why? Because some people who do not attend services or belong to a church assume that all churches do is preach hellfire and brimstone. This is not always true, of course, but it reflects a common perception. Rather than emphasizing that unless a person is "saved" and follows the tenets of the church they will not go to Heaven, churches should teach people to forgive. They should teach congregations positive practices that people can use outside of the church.

Reframing the Church's Role in Community

When the church emphasizes forgiveness, it engages with a powerful human approach to interpersonal interaction that transcends specific theological debates about God, Heaven, Hell, and deep philosophical concepts linked to Christianity. Forgiveness is, of course, a central Christian concept. When Jesus Christ was dying on the cross, he said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Some people think that forgiveness in a church context means going into confession and asking a priest to forgive something the worshipper has done. To someone who is skeptical about organized religion, learning how the Magnuson and Enright framework explores forgiveness—understanding how to forgive—should help skeptics set aside stereotypes they may hold about church activities.

Comparative models support this approach. Restorative justice has become especially prominent in New Zealand, where the Māori peoples have become more readily assimilated into the mainstream community partly through this model. Rather than incarcerate a person for wrongdoing, courts allow the victim and offender to meet under proper supervision, with families present, to reach an understanding. Church-based forgiveness is not identical to court-supervised restorative justice, but the underlying principle of sincere forgiveness as a path to healing is similar and powerful.

As a pastor, I have noticed that a young couple whose marriage I officiated are not attending church regularly. In fact, the wife attends once a month, alone, and she appears distressed. After a Sunday service, I reach out to her and ask to speak privately for a few minutes. I learn that she and her husband are in the midst of a marriage crisis. She has discovered that her husband spends time emailing and texting with an old girlfriend, and when confronted, he becomes very angry, insisting that he is faithful and is simply "staying in touch" with an "old friend."

Applying Forgiveness in Pastoral Practice

The reality is that they are considering a temporary separation because they fight constantly. Whenever the husband uses the computer, the wife becomes jealous and suspicious, fearing he might be interacting with that old girlfriend. I call the husband and ask if he would be willing to come and discuss their problems with his wife one evening after work. He agrees. When they arrive, I serve coffee and cookies and do not try to impose a solution but rather let each of them talk. The husband denies involvement in an affair, insists he loves his wife, and seems credible. The wife admits she may be overreacting and acknowledges that he has never lied to her before.

I ask them if they would be willing to meet with a licensed marriage counselor who is a member of the church. They agree. After a session with the counselor, I invite the husband to walk with me near the church flower garden. I stress the need for him to apologize to his wife for causing her stress, and I ask him to request her forgiveness at our next meeting. He cries, acknowledging that he should not have communicated with an ex-girlfriend. When the two of them come for a third meeting, he asks his wife to forgive him and promises to stop interacting digitally with the old girlfriend. The wife forgives him, they embrace, and tears flow from both of their eyes.

I cannot be certain that he will keep his promise, but because he has received forgiveness from the person who means the most to him—his beautiful wife—and because he now comes to church with her every Sunday, I feel that I have made a positive difference for this young couple. This case demonstrates how the principles of forgiveness-centered pastoral care can restore relationships and reengage people with faith communities.

By emphasizing a major role of the church as one of forgiveness, it is a refreshing approach. The church should focus on teaching people to forgive, offering the congregation positive practices they can use in their daily lives. When the church prioritizes forgiveness as a community value and provides the training, leadership, and ongoing support outlined by Magnuson and Enright, it positions itself as a center for healing human relationships and personal transformation. The case study presented here shows that this approach works—not perfectly or with guaranteed outcomes, but meaningfully and with real human impact.

Magnuson, C. M., and Enright, R. D. (2008). The Church as Forgiving Community: An Initial Model. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 36(2), 114–123.

Conclusion: The Church as Healing Institution