Online Dating vs. Traditional Dating: Key Differences

Introduction

The romantic landscape has in recent times undergone significant changes, with online dating slowly taking the place of traditional dating — sometimes referred to as organic dating. For a variety of reasons, online dating is fast proving to be a better alternative to traditional dating.

In basic terms, online dating (in contrast to traditional dating) can be defined as the romantic interaction between two consenting adults via an online communication or interaction platform. According to Hammer (2009), dating was in the past largely limited to familiar settings such as the church, the workplace, and school. However, with the growing popularity of the Internet, dating has been taken to a whole new level. Indeed, in the words of Hammer (2009, p. 238), "the Internet has dramatically expanded opportunities for people to meet and develop relationships through social networking services (MySpace, Friendster), online dating services, e-mail, chat rooms, and news groups." However, as the author further points out, not everybody is happy with the increasing popularity of online dating. There are those who are concerned that this new trend will lead to "the demise of face-to-face interactions, widespread loneliness and alienation, and millions being lured into dangerous liaisons by unscrupulous people" (Hammer, 2009, p. 238). It is important to note, however, that the arguments presented in this paper suggest these fears are largely unfounded. Some of the most popular online dating sites include, but are not limited to, Match.com, eHarmony, and PositiveSingles.com (Gackenbach, 2007).

Satisfaction in Online Dating vs. Traditional Dating

In some cases, finding love can turn out to be a frustrating and lonely experience, particularly when individuals seeking love face the prospect of rejection. Thanks to the Internet, individuals can now approach their ideal partners in a friendlier — and perhaps more familiar — online environment. In such an environment, the inhibitions and interruptions associated with traditional dating are largely absent, meaning that even the shyest individuals have an equal opportunity to find love.

It is also important to acknowledge life's changing realities. Unlike a few years ago, people are finding it increasingly difficult to engage in meaningful face-to-face interactions due to time constraints. Due to career obligations and other familial or personal commitments, people are no longer investing as much in interpersonal relations. Face-to-face interactions, which would ordinarily offer individuals a perfect opportunity to meet and build meaningful relationships, are becoming a rarity. This should not, however, be seen as a reason to avoid dating altogether. Given the convenience online dating provides, individuals who do not have much time for traditional face-to-face interactions can still find partners online. All that is needed is an Internet connection — individuals can connect late at night, early in the morning, or even during a lunch break. Such a level of convenience is not available in traditional dating. According to eHarmony, a popular online dating platform, online dating is best suited for those who claim to be too busy for traditional dating (eHarmony Staff, 2013). With online dating, even the busiest professionals can date on their own terms.

The availability of personalized profiles on online dating platforms is yet another factor that makes online dating compelling. Individuals are provided with an opportunity to set up detailed personal profiles spelling out their likes, dislikes, location, profession, and more. Other pertinent information that can be derived from personal profiles includes hobbies, favorite television shows, and preferred dishes. Unlike traditional dating, online dating takes romantic relations to a new level where interactions are not solely based on physical attraction. Thanks to online dating, individuals can now "vet" prospective partners more thoroughly before investing emotionally in a relationship. Online dating sites are also improving their ability to correctly match individuals (Joinson, 2007). As Joinson (2007, p. 41) further points out, "programs have been written to assist the online dater in their quest to seek out the most appropriate partner." It would therefore be reasonable to claim that online dating has made it possible — and easier — for individuals to find well-matched partners, a process that would be both complicated and error-prone in a traditional dating context.

Unlike traditional dating, online dating does not impose many barriers regarding the range of people an individual can meet. As McKenna and Bargh (as cited in Hammer, 2009) point out, people's connections with each other are no longer separated by physical infirmity or geography. To some extent, online dating can be seen as an equalizer in the romantic sphere. Common venues for meeting prospective partners are often highly restrictive, limiting the number and variety of people an individual might encounter. For instance, there is a natural ceiling on how many people one can meet in a church setting, and those within an individual's existing social circles may not possess the qualities they seek in a partner. Online dating effectively overcomes this challenge. It has also broken down geographical barriers: an individual from the UK can develop a meaningful relationship with a partner from the United States — and vice versa — all from the comfort of home. With millions of people from across the globe interacting freely on the Internet, the possibilities are virtually endless.

In a way, online dating is also safer than traditional face-to-face dating. Physical interactions can be avoided until a more appropriate time, and it is far easier to disengage from an unwanted online interaction than from one in person. In a traditional dating scenario, it can be difficult to handle someone who refuses to accept rejection; such a person could potentially become a stalker. With online dating, one can fully or partially conceal their identity, so that if there is a need to exit a relationship, the other party cannot resort to desperate or dangerous measures. Tools for concealing identity include anonymous email addresses, among others. As Hammer (2009) further points out, those of a non-heterosexual orientation may also find online dating safer than traditional dating, given the stigma still attached to same-sex relationships in some parts of the world.

In an attempt to present a balanced argument, it is worth acknowledging some of the objections that have been raised against online dating. To begin with, there are those who are concerned that it is not easy to verify whether the information people share about themselves online is truthful and accurate (Paludi, 2012). Individuals are required to develop profiles that include, among other things, photographs, occupational details, and physical descriptions (Joinson, 2007). Critics argue that unscrupulous and deceptive people can easily set up profiles that misrepresent who they truly are. According to research by Guadagno (2012), men who expect to meet their partners online are likely to lie about their emotional stability and attractiveness. Indeed, anyone can upload photos that are not their own and post information that is either false or outdated. In an online setting, an individual would find it easier to fabricate information than in a face-to-face encounter. This should not, however, be taken to mean that people cannot also be dishonest in person. To address this problem, many professional dating sites have established systems and verification checks designed to minimize online deception. By following established online dating guidelines, users can significantly reduce their risk.

Conclusion

As already noted, every approach to dating — traditional or online — has its own pitfalls. However, with the prerequisite caution, online dating remains the best alternative for not only those who are busy but also those ready to try out something new and exciting. Going forward, the popularity of online dating is likely to increase as more individuals recognize its advantages over traditional dating. This is especially true given the growing number of testimonies indicating that relationships initiated online have developed into fulfilling, long-term offline partnerships.