First, Jessica will acknowledge that the girl's trick is clever and that the school could possibly even choose to suspend disciplinary action, especially if large number of students participate, and to simply revise the dress code policy for the future. Jessica will demonstrate that she gets the humor and that the stunt is completely harmless. She will even express that she might have allowed Julia to participate but for the fact that Julia has already used up her non-official disciplinary actions and that any future disciplinary issues will result in a suspension and a permanent negative entry in her record that could cause more problems than worth risking.
Jessica will remind Julia that Jessica was upset but did not overreact or punish her for her previous disciplinary actions and that Julia promised not to do anything else that school year that could possibly result in another disciplinary action because Jessica explained how important it was that Julia qualify for as much financial assistance as possible for college. Jessica will express that this is the only reason that she has no choice but to forbid conduct that would not necessarily be so bad for Julia if Julia still had a remaining unofficial disciplinary violation. At various appropriate times during their conversation, Jessica will initiate physical gestures such as putting her hand on Julia's arm to underscore the fact that she sympathizes with Julia and that she derives no pleasure from disappointing her or frustrating her. Jessica will also explain that she allows Julia to express herself by never commenting on her clothing in general and even gives her additional money to buy some of the clothes that she only wears outside of school because of school policy. Jessica will also explain that she has no choice but to comply with her employers' dress code even though she herself would be much more comfortable commuting...
arriving on school grounds in appropriate attire..." and, just like the Class Trip Dress Code Policy, it does not specifically prohibit "arriving on school grounds" in a skirt that meets the dress code and then changing into a shorter one in the bathroom. Jessica will ask Julia what she thinks the school's response would be if she were disciplined for wearing a short skirt in class if she said she had a picture of herself "arriving on school ground" in the longer skirt that morning before she changed.
Jessica's communication strategy is designed to accomplish several objectives: to help Julia understand that her planned violation of the dress code policy could cause her and her mother problems that are way out of proportion to the importance of wearing jeans on the trip and that true friends would not want any of their friends to risk suspension if she was facing different risks because she already had used up her unofficial disciplinary actions. Jessica hopes that by drawing parallels between vocational employment dress codes and school dress codes, Julia will understand that her mother also has to follow rules that inconvenience her. Finally, by expressing her understanding (and appreciation) of the humor in the stunt, Jessica hopes to minimize Julia's resentment and help her realize that Jessica's reasoning is genuinely in Julia's best interest and not just a means of controlling her without legitimate justification.
