Letter of Advise Letter of Advice to Couple

Dear Sara and Tim, it is wonderful to discern that you are one of those smart couples who take their relationship seriously and are always looking out for guidance and a valuable piece of advice to keep their marital relationship healthy and tight. In the following lines, I will be discussing the necessary concepts that are crucial for the development of a happy relationship. Through my experience, I discovered that many troubles in a relationship crop up only due to the lack of interpersonal communication. This area of relationship grooming is highly significant; however it always suffers profuse negligence. Meaningful communication that would lead to the solution of hovering misunderstandings and troubles is very powerful in turning any spoiling relationship back to normal. This letter is designed to help you regarding various misconceptions and troubles which you must be facing and interpersonal communication can help you in clearing all such uncertainties.

Principles and Misconceptions in Effective Interpersonal Communications

Sara and Tim, never forget that there are a few principles of effective communication that would help you immensely to understand each other well. Top of the list rule is to learn to respect each other. If you are treating your partner respectfully, there are clear chances that the other party would also treat you respectfully. So this medium of respect is important to provide a useful environment to reach the solutions more quickly and successfully. When I am pointing towards respect, it does not mean that you got to respect your partner out of fear or any other negative emotion, but it has to be the respect that is a genuine and warm consideration of another important human being.

The second principle of effective interpersonal communication is that we do not interrupt each other while communicating. Do not think that only speaking over each other is interruption but one can create interruption while attending (not so important) ringing mobile phones, starting to snoop to music or viewing the TV while speaking with someone. The third and the very important principle are to give your partner a right to pass. Let your partner chose for him or her as he or she pleases. We sometimes unknowingly deny our partner the right to choose in a variety of things such as how to look, how to wear, what car to drive, what work to do, where to reside, how to exist etc. People who are not allowed to decide will become elusive' about their judgments and feelings in case they are forced into taking part in something that they are not prepared to do. In our routine life, if we do not apply this principle the result would be destructive communication and conflicts (Daniel, 2003).

Barriers to Effective Interpersonal Interactions

One thing that I found to be paralyzing for any marital relationship is the variety of misconceptions that we hold about communication. These misconceptions create major barriers without our even realizing them. We believe that we are communicating or at least trying to communicate with other but we fail to notice the fact that we are not doing it as it ought to be done. Number one misconception that we have is if I say something, other person would understand it. Then if you are getting the wrong idea, talking too much and louder is a mistake. Sometimes it happens that the time you have chosen to talk things out may be is not the right time. Largest misconception that lot of my clients held repeatedly is that communication is simply a natural ability, some people have and some do not. All these mistaken believe are of no help. They can further deteriorate the situation (Lisa, 1999).

Strategies for Active, Critical, and Empathic Listening

Listening to the person you are involved with in a conversation is highly important. That listening does not include only hearing the sentences but to listen actively and purposefully we need to put some extra effort. You should never be neglecting five key elements of lively listening, which are paying attention, demonstrating the speaker that you are paying attention through your body language and gestures to express your consideration and through providing steady feedback. Once again do not interrupt with counter arguments and finally respond appropriately. While speaking with your spouse, be candid, open, and honest in your response (Sarah, 2011 ).

Listening, in reality listening and not merely hearing, is an ability that asks much of the listener -- to give concentration to the speaker, to clear the wits and, possibly most prominently, to provide the speaker the valuable gift of your time. Studies show we memorize only about 25 to 50% of what is alleged to us in dialogue. The value of good...

In your private life, good listening skills assist your family members and associates to feel heard, valued and treasured. In relations, listening improves contact and brings about better intimacy. At work, listening prevents misinterpretation and thus saves capital and time; it improves cooperation and team spirit, allows for enhanced problem solving and leads to improved relationships at all levels (Wood, 2012).
The act of listening is commonly divided into active, empathic and critical listening. Active listening is to listen with an intention, consists of both empathic and significant listening. Empathic listening is when you are making an effort to understand another person whereas critical listening entails evaluating a speaker's message for accuracy, meaningfulness, and efficacy. While you both get to speak with each other on several issues off and on that is important that you make use of all kinds of listening simultaneously. If your spouse is complaining about something it requires careful critical listening behavior from your side.

Critical Thinking

Critical thinking includes cautious analysis of both the communique condition and the message of the speaker. Evaluating the situation demands that you meticulously comprehend the communication state in which you are involved. Analyzing the message involves assessing the arguments and sustaining material offered by the speaker, whether the speaker is presenting annotations or inferences, and whether or not the presenter is realistic (Wood, 2012).

Verbal and nonverbal communications play a vital role in order to help you improve your listening behaviors. Asking questions, welcoming additional comments, using expressive responses, and providing encouraging statements are all examples of effective verbal strategies. Nonverbal responses comprise of using positive facial expressions, making direct eye contact, and presenting positive vocal expressions. Use of such strategies will persuade the speaker to keep on speaking and providing you with more information so that you can confirm your understanding.

Critical thinking is the procedure of thinking various questions and associating related assumptions. It is a method of deciding whether an argument is true, false; sometimes true, or partially true. Critical thinking can also be thought of as "reasonable reflective thinking focused on choosing what to consider or do." It has also been depicted as judgment about thinking or the rationally regimented process of aggressively and dexterously conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, amalgamate, and/or assess information gathered from, or produced by, surveillance, knowledge, indication, way of thinking, or communication, as a direction to belief and action (Lisa, 1999).

Process by Which Self-Concept Is Developed and Maintained

The self-concept is an interior model which consists of self-assessments. Features evaluated contain but are not restricted to: traits, skills and aptitude, profession and hobbies, objective characteristics, etc. For instance, the declaration "I am lazy" is a self-assessment that contribute to the self-concept. However, the declaration "I am tired" would not be part of someone's self-concept, since being exhausted is a momentary state and a more objective decision. A person's self-concept may modify with instance as reconsideration occurs, which in tremendous cases can direct to identity crises (Donald, 1985).

It is important to identify that self-concept or self-knowledge is very deeply like any other kind of understanding, for the self is a cognitive production. Your self-concept is how you view yourself. How you sight yourself, establishes how you will go through life. If you see yourself in positive and strong light, your life experiences will be optimistic and healthy. You will have a better approach to face the challenges and adversities of your life. If you hold an unstable and flimsy opinion of yourself, your life and people related to you would have to suffer greatly. It is crucial to build a rock-hard personal foundation, a foundation consisting of self-knowledge, self-love and self-confidence. It is very significant to realize that the way you perceive yourself to be means a lot for someone directly associated with your life, and in most cases that is your spouse. An improved self-concept demands that you develop an ability to know yourself, to be able to evaluate your strengths, weaknesses, flair and potential. Also you are able to love and acknowledge who you are and know that you can always make yourself better than this and the ability to take accountability for all your actions and choices. When you posses a healthy self-concept, nothing can…