Love and Falling in Love. From the

¶ … love" and "falling in love." From the time that we are infants, we are fed with stories about falling in love, lovers triumphing against all odds, and then living happily ever after. In fact, the same theme is repeated right through the growing up years of childhood and adolescence in all forms of media, be it film, television, music, or books of fiction.

As a result, both young men and women alike are almost brainwashed into visualizing an idealized image of the ultimate "falling in love" experience and the woman or man of her or his dreams. True, there is the usual curiosity, which leads to experimentation and the process of sexual discovery but these sexual skirmishes do not really interfere with the typical hopes cherished about living the ultimate romantic dream. Indeed, adolescence is characterized by most teenagers in love with the idea of falling in love.

Unfortunately, this dream carries with it a utopian image of the ideal partner, which life rarely, if at all, lives up to. Typically, the dream involves a person who adores the ground one walks on, is always ready and willing to fulfill one's every little wish, and someone who declares that he or she would rather die than live without the love of the desired person.

A close examination of the images described in the preceding paragraph reveals just how unrealistic the expectations from the experience are, and more important, that the desire to fall in love is really a wish for the ultimate ego kick. Indeed, love as portrayed by romance novels, songs, and movies involves either complete adoration to the extent of submerging one's identity to pander to the loved one, or the heartbreak from the rejection or lack of interest from the object of one's desire.

Either which way, the desire to fall in love is nothing but the desire to feel cherished and loved, but in an unrealistic way. Love, on the other hand, is really a far more difficult emotional state that requires a great deal of sincerity, commitment, and most important the ability to continue caring for a person despite any imagined or real failings. This means that claiming to love another person involves understanding or the ability to view life from the other person's perspective.

Such ability is particularly put to the test during periods when the loved one desires his or her own space to resolve personal issues or even asserts a wish to fulfill self-development or self- actualization needs that may involve solitude as against togetherness. In such situations, loving another may just mean the ability to let go in spite of feelings of personal insecurity and loss.

Usually, however, the stereotypical reaction is, "if you loved me, you would want to stay with me." Again, a close look at such reactions reveals that love is evaluated by highly personal and selfish measures. Such reactions also take place because of a desire to continually relive the high of the falling in love days. Whereas the fact is that it is difficult, if not impossible, to maintain any relationship on such an emotional high.

Usually, the every day responsibilities and demands of life soon interfere along with each partner's life journey, which involves pretty much solo experiences (even while staying in the relationship). Thus, the difference between "falling in love" and "love" is while the former is a personal emotional high, the latter is more about genuine caring and commitment, often involving the ability to forgive and ask for forgiveness. True love has no room for false pride though this does not imply the giving up of self-respect.

The trick is to understand the difference between pride and self-respect.

Personal Benefits from the Theology Course If I were to define the overarching benefit of the theology course, it would be that "it prepares an individual for the adult journey of life by lending an understanding of the issues that will be repeatedly faced." A lot, of course, depends, on the personal desires of the individual as in "what kind of person does he or she wish to become." But even here, the value of the course is tremendous as it teaches an understanding about social issues and personal issues of development that are yet to be traversed.

By doing so, it allows the involved student to evaluate different perspectives and perhaps reexamine the validity of his or her current understanding of life and thereby, the idealized images carried. For instance, by instructing a student on life's stages of development using models such as Erikson's theory of generativity or the Paschal mystery, the course serves as a defacto or quasi- counseling session. Inevitably, learning about life opens the mind to reassessing personal issues and complexes.

This leads to a new understanding and sometimes resolution of personal childhood and adolescence issues. To my way of thinking, this is hugely beneficial as it leads to a more mature understanding of the past, besides acting as a foundation for dealing with similar issues, which may arise in the future. Personally, people professing to separate their personal and professional life have always puzzled me. For, to my way of thinking, the.