¶ … love" and "falling in love." From the time that we are infants, we are fed with stories about falling in love, lovers triumphing against all odds, and then living happily ever after. In fact, the same theme is repeated right through the growing up years of childhood and adolescence in all forms of media, be it film, television, music, or books of fiction. As a result, both young men and women alike are almost brainwashed into visualizing an idealized image of the ultimate "falling in love" experience and the woman or man of her or his dreams.

True, there is the usual curiosity, which leads to experimentation and the process of sexual discovery but these sexual skirmishes do not really interfere with the typical hopes cherished about living the ultimate romantic dream. Indeed, adolescence is characterized by most teenagers in love with the idea of falling in love. Unfortunately, this dream carries with it a utopian image of the ideal partner, which life rarely, if at all, lives up to. Typically, the dream involves a person who adores the ground one walks on, is always ready and willing to fulfill one's every little wish, and someone who declares that he or she would rather die than live without the love of the desired person.

A close examination of the images described in the preceding paragraph reveals just how unrealistic the expectations from the experience are, and more important, that the desire to fall in love is really a wish for the ultimate ego kick. Indeed, love as portrayed by romance novels, songs, and movies involves either complete adoration to the extent of submerging...

Either which way, the desire to fall in love is nothing but the desire to feel cherished and loved, but in an unrealistic way.
Love, on the other hand, is really a far more difficult emotional state that requires a great deal of sincerity, commitment, and most important the ability to continue caring for a person despite any imagined or real failings. This means that claiming to love another person involves understanding or the ability to view life from the other person's perspective. Such ability is particularly put to the test during periods when the loved one desires his or her own space to resolve personal issues or even asserts a wish to fulfill self-development or self- actualization needs that may involve solitude as against togetherness. In such situations, loving another may just mean the ability to let go in spite of feelings of personal insecurity and loss.

Usually, however, the stereotypical reaction is, "if you loved me, you would want to stay with me." Again, a close look at such reactions reveals that love is evaluated by highly personal and selfish measures. Such reactions also take place because of a desire to continually relive the high of the falling in love days. Whereas the fact is that it is difficult, if not impossible, to maintain any relationship on such an emotional high. Usually, the every day responsibilities and demands of life soon interfere along with each partner's life journey, which involves pretty much solo experiences…