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Communication
Ordinary People
Communication (and the lack of it) is one of the key ingredients in the film Ordinary People. Throughout the film, there are many scenes where this is obvious, and this is the underlying theme and motivation of the film. In the scene where Calvin finally confronts Beth about her cold and aloof behavior, she cannot talk with him about her feelings or her grief. Instead, she runs away from the situation, packs her bag, and leaves the house. Her lack of communication skills has hurt the family just as much as Buck's death, and created a climate of sadness, fear, and anger. She is afraid to let the others see her emotions, she is afraid to hear what the others think, and because of that, she cannot come to terms with her own grief.
Calvin does not help matters, either. In one scene, he asks Conrad, "Are you OK?" However, he really does not want to hear the answer, and he is pleased when Conrad just answers "sure." It takes therapy for Calvin to learn how to really listen as well as share his own feelings. He was afraid of the real answer Calvin might have given, and so he asked a question that really did not ask for an answer. However, Calvin learns how to communicate with therapy, while Beth refuses to attend, because she does not want to know the answers, or that she is part of the problem. She avoids confrontation and wallows in her grief.
There are several scenes between Dr. Berger and Conrad that show how people can learn to communicate effectively with each other. Dr. Berger listens to Conrad, which is important. He makes him finish his sentences, and he makes Conrad angry so he can really understand what he is feeling. Conrad learns from these sessions, and understands that he is keeping his feelings about his mother's anger inside, and this is eating him alive.
All these scenes show the importance of real, valuable communication, and they show what can happen to relationships when people do not communicate, especially about important events. This family is torn apart because they do not how to communicate, and they are afraid to communicate.
References
Ordinary People. Dir. Robert Redford. Perf. Donald Sutherland, Mary Tyler Moore, and Timothy Hutton. Paramount, 1980.
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