Parental alienation syndrome and post-divorce child custody conflicts

Parental Alienation Syndrome: A Systemic Perspective

One of the unfortunate consequences of marital dissolution is the impact that it can have on the children of the marriage, particularly younger children. In those situations where children are trapped in the middle of parental conflict and leads to separation or divorce, studies have shown that they are at a higher risk for a number of psychosocial problems, including intentional efforts to ally children with one parent in ways that pit the parent against the other. These efforts become particularly harmful in those cases where the alignment becomes sufficiently entrenched in children that they actually collude with one parent to reject the other parent entirely, or to denigrate the other parent who had previously been cherished and loved. Parents who intentionally encourage these types of alignment are using what has been termed parental alienation (PA) strategies that are intended to turn a child against the other, targeted parent. In many cases, the parent employing these strategies is still highly resentful of the events that led to the dissolution of the marriage -- which may include violence, ruined finances or infidelity -- and their rage spills over in ways that intentionally involve the children of the marriage in an effort to strike back at the other parent. These efforts, though, can adversely affect the feelings of the alienated child for the targeted parent, in some cases for life. These efforts by the alienating parent also ignore the fundamental needs for children to have a separate and independent relationship with the other parent, which is typically the father (Gardner, 1998).

Although the reference is of fairly recent origin, Andre (2003) suggests that, "Parental alienation and PAS have probably existed for as long as contested divorces have occurred, but they were first identified in professional literature about two decades ago by Wallerstein and Kelly. Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) described a pathological alignment between an angry divorcing parent and his or her child" (p. 8). According to Baker and Andre (2008), the parent with primary custody of the child or children of the marriage holds most of the cards, at least from a logically perspective if not a legalistic one. In this regard, Baker and Andre note that, "Through various strategies such as bad-mouthing, limiting contact, belittling, and withdrawing love, the alienating parent creates the impression that the targeted parent is dangerous, unloving, or unworthy, thus compelling the child to reject that parent" (p. 10). When these types of behaviors are taken to their extreme and a child rejects the targeted parent entirely, the result is known as severe alienation or parental alienation syndrome (PAS) (Gardner, 1998).

During the 1980s, a grassroots movement emerged among fathers whose children were being used as virtual weapons in divorce proceedings for purposes of vindictiveness, leverage, or even extortion. According to Carbone (2000), fathers' advocacy groups also co-opted the reference to "parental alienation syndrome" to describe their plight in gaining equitable access to their children following a hotly contested divorce. These fathers maintained that many mothers, angry as a result of the emotional conflicts that produced the divorce, poisoned their children's relationships with their fathers and interfered with the father's efforts to maintain a meaningful relationship with their children. As a result, Carbone emphasizes that, "Custody and visitation fights had replaced fault-based accusations as the new divorce battleground" (p. 184). Whether these trends were a result of a more enlightened group of fathers or the result of an increasingly litigious society, the fact remains that these early efforts have spawned new interest in identifying what course of action is best for the interests of the children involved rather than a rubber-stamp approach to divorce that automatically awards custody of minor children to the mother and all of the expenses of the relationship to the father. As Carbone points out, "These fathers embraced joint custody and the 'friendly parent provisions' that provided for the award of custody to the parent most likely to insure the continued involvement of both, as a way to secure recognition of a right to continued contact with their children and to enhance their bargaining power in the custody and visitation wars" (Carbone, 2000, p. 184). Alas, "war" reference is all-too-common when it comes to how many divorces are perceived by both the litigants as well as the children involved, and it is these issues that form the problem to be considered by the study proposed herein and which is discussed further below.

Statement of the Problem

When minor children are used as weapons in the divorce war, no one wins and indeed, everyone involved loses to some extent. A hate-filled mother, for example, may succeed in persuading her children that their father is unworthy of their love and affection and they should try to avoid contact with him at all costs, but this will only harm the children and their relationship with the estranged father. In such cases, the mother may win a brief legal and emotional battle but she will have lost the moral war. Likewise, the children will lose out on a meaningful and close relationship with their father (although in parental alienation syndrome, the roles can easily be reversed but because the vast majority of cases involved the mother as being the alienating parent and the father being the targeted parent, these references will be used throughout the proposed study).

When family law attorneys weigh in on these issues and manage to convince a court of competent jurisdiction that it is in the children's best interests to have sole custody assigned to the mother in spite of these alienation efforts on her part, the problem is further exacerbated. In contrast to sole custody of children following a divorce, joint physical custody contrast, requires that the child or children reside with both of the parents, typically on an alternating basis (Carbone, 2000). The author of the Parental Alienation Syndrome, Richard Gardner, recommends a change in custody in just a relatively small percentage of parental alienation cases, but emphasizes that family courts rarely follow his recommendations even in the most extreme situations. In this regard, Gardner uses the term, "parental alienation syndrome," to mean inculcating or programming (e.g., "brainwashing") the children of the marriage by one parent in order to denigrate the targeted parent, but also to describe self-created contributions by the children involved in ways that reinforce the preferred parent's efforts to denigrate the targeted parent.

Moreover, Gardner emphasizes that such denigration efforts inevitably succeed when the campaign is unrelenting and children are not provided with a balanced view of the issues involved. According to Andre (2004), "In 1985, Richard a. Gardner, MD, further delineated the pathological alignment as occurring between a 'brainwashing' parent and a contributing child, and named the phenomenon Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAS)" (p. 8). Regrettably, Andre adds, Gardner's seminal work is largely ignored in favor of criticisms leveled against his recommendation that severely alienated children should be completely removed from the home of the alienating parent. As Andre points out, "This has stirred considerable inquiry into whether or not this can be effective without traumatizing the child. Gardner has also been criticized for his initial position that most brainwashing parents are women. This position is one which he later reversed, in part due to changes in societal mores, noting that 'men and women are equally likely to be PAS indoctrinators' (Gardner, 2001 quoted in Andre at p. 8),

It is important to note, though, that not all cases wherein the children of a failed marriage are cautioned to avoid further contact with a noncustodial parent are misplaced. There may be past instances of physical or sexual abuse involved, for example, or problems with substance abuse, and the custodial parent may have legitimate fears concerning the safety of the children during unsupervised visitations or in a joint custody arrangement. Nevertheless, the incidence of hostile parents using their children as tools to manipulate both the courts and to harm the targeted parent have become increasingly well documented. For instance, according to Greif, "The PAS and Gardner's work are well-known within the legal system. As such they are part of the collective conscience of parents' seeking changes in custody. The refusal of a child to visit a parent can be considered part of the PAS or have nothing to do with such a syndrome" (p. 134). Moreover, Andre (2004) emphasizes that, "Proponents applaud PAS as a distinctly diagnosable phenomenon and appreciate the clarity it brings to diagnosis and treatment of intra and interfamily dynamics. Critics sometimes go so far as to deny it exists. Some courts have recognized it, while other courts have barred testimony on it" (p. 7).

Therefore, it is not possible to assert that all cases where allegations of mistreatment or unfitness for parental involved are unfounded, but rather it is possible -- and important -- to take the parental alienation syndrome into account when formulating these decisions on a case-by-case basis. In this regard, Greif emphasizes that, "As with many family issues, an assessment has to be made with an awareness of the various possibilities before a decision can be made about how to interpret and act on the information. Application of the PAS to the myriad cases that include some rejection of a parent by a child involves the eye of the beholder" (Grief, 1997, p. 134). When the rejection of a parent by a child is taken to the extremes that are characteristic of parental alienation syndrome, though, the outcomes will inevitably be harmful for both the targeted parent as well as the children involved and these issues form the purpose of the study proposed herein which is discussed further below.

Purpose of Study

The overall purpose of the study proposed herein is to provide a systemic analysis of the current dynamics of divorces in South Africa and how these affect the children of these failed marriages. This social issues is especially well suited for analysis from a systemic perspective because this analytical approach is designed to examine the operational dynamics of the social and structural dimensions of society or group. According to one authority, "The analysis includes, but is not limited to, the dynamics of power, voice, inclusion or exclusion, and consequent benefit or profit, harm or loss. It articulates the starting points one uses in analysis, and clarifies the consequences of using any particular starting point" (Systemic analysis, 2009). Likewise, Keating, Kaufmann and Dryer (2001) note that the strengths of the systemic analysis approach "rests in the holistic analysis of structure, relationships, and emergent dynamics of problematic situations. The fundamental systems principles underpinning the approach are developed to provide an essential 'systems background' as a foundation for the framework" (p. 772). A secondary purpose of the proposed study will be to help develop a network between fields, social services, forensic, having the South African context link between psychologists, social workers and legal sector to assist across contexts.

Importance of Study

The importance of a meaningful relationship with a divorced parent cannot be overstated. Studies have shown time and again that although children who are raised in a two-parent home enjoy a wide range of benefits across the life span, studies have also shown that maintaining a close relationship with a parent following a divorce is an important factor in these same quality of life indicators as well. Although current estimates concerning the number of minor children who are affected by parental alienation syndrome in South Africa are sketchy, based on current statistics, it is reasonable to posit that at least 3,300 minor children each year become new victims of this serious syndrome -- and probably more given the lack of reliable statistics concerning total divorce rates among the rural population -- and there remains a glaring lack of initiatives in the country to address this problem. As a result, the field of psychology in South Africa has earned a poor reputation when it comes to formulating timely interventions for the problem of parental alienation syndrome, and given the lack of attention to the problem, it is little wonder that well-meaning therapists lack the requisite skills needed to deal with PAS due in part to both a scarcity of limited resources as well as a gap in the literature from a South African perspective. The findings from the study proposed herein, then, could help fill this gap and identify an interdisciplinary approach that could be used in a variety of settings to address this serious problem that has received little official attention over the years.

Scope of Study

Although the proposed study will consult the peer-reviewed and scholarly literature concerning parental alienation syndrome as it has been studied in other countries, there will be a specific focus on interpreting this information as it applies to a South African context.

Rationale of Study

Despite a growing body of evidence that suggests parental alienation syndrome is an increasingly serious issue and its impact on the alienated parent and the children of the marriage can have lifelong implications, there remains a dearth of timely and relevant studies concerning this phenomenon in general and as it applies to divorced parents in South Africa in particular. Therefore, the study proposed herein represents a useful starting point to establish benchmarks and identify opportunities for improving the manner in which divorcing parents manage their new relationship. This approach is congruent with Baker and Andre (2008) who emphasize that, "Sound practice in clinical work with alienated children and their targeted parents suggests that assessment and recognition of parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome is a critical starting point" (p. 10).

Likewise, a systemic analysis of how parental alienation syndrome affects both parents of a failed marriage can illuminate both sides of the issues involved in ways that may not be otherwise possible. In this regard, Carbone emphasizes that, "A clearer understanding of the terms of engagement, one that starts with a presumption of both parents' continuing involvement but also recognizes clear grounds for disqualification, would benefit everyone" (Carbone, 2000, p. 240). These are particularly important considerations because of a fundamental paucity of relevant work in this area from a South African perspective. For instance, to date, there have been at best just three books that even refer to PAS in the South African context briefly and none of these have been written or published thus far on PAS alone. Therefore, the study proposed herein represents a timely and valuable contribution to the area of family jurisprudence and counseling as it applies to South Africa and can provide useful insights and recommendations for practitioners and policymakers alike.

Overview of Study

This proposed study intends to use a five-chapter format to achieve the above-stated research purposes. Chapter one of the study will be used to introduce the topic and issues under consideration, provide a statement of the problem, the purpose and importance of the study, as well as its scope and rationale. Chapter two of the proposed study will provide a critical review of the relevant and peer-reviewed literature concerning parental alienation syndrome and an overview and analysis of salient South African family law considerations. Chapter three of the study proposed herein will be used to describe more fully methodology used, including a description of the study approach, the data-gathering method and the database of study to be consulted. Chapter four of the study will consist of an analysis of the qualitative data developed during the research process and chapter five will present the proposed study's conclusions, a summary of the research and salient recommendations for family counselors and policymakers alike.

Methodology

The methodology to be used in the proposed study will be a mixed approach. The first part of the methodology will consist of a critical review of the relevant secondary peer-reviewed and scholarly literature concerning the impact of divorce on minor children in general and in South Africa in particular as well as the dynamics involved in situations that develop into parental alienation syndrome. This step is highly congruent with a number of social researchers who emphasize the need to analyze what is known about a topic before formulating conclusions and developing recommendations. In this regard, Fraenkel and Wallen (2001) note that, "Researchers usually dig into the literature to find out what has already been written about the topic they are interested in investigating. Both the opinions of experts in the field and other research studies are of interest. Such reading is referred to as a review of the literature" (p. 48). In addition, a well conducted literature review can help identify any gaps in the literature that can form the basis for recommendations for future research initiatives. For example, Gratton and Jones (2003) advise, "A literature review is the background to the research, where it is important to demonstrate a clear understanding of the relevant theories and concepts, the results of past research into the area, the types of methodologies and research designs employed in such research, and areas where the literature is deficient" (p. 51).

The second part of the proposed study will consist of a survey of divorced South African fathers to obtain primary information concerning their experiences following a divorce and what their perceptions of the legal process has been in terms of visitation rights with their minor children. Subjects for the survey will be recruited using both online forums for South African fathers as well as advertisements for subjects in South African male-oriented publications. The family advocate's office as well as the organization, Fathers for Justice, will also be approached to recruit subjects for the study proposed herein. This step of the methodology for the proposed study is also highly congruent with a number of social researchers who emphasize the need to incorporate primary research whenever possible. In this regard, Dennis and Harris (2002) emphasize that, "Primary data are information that is being collected for the first time in order to address a specific research problem. This means that it is likely to be directly relevant to the research, unlike secondary data, which may be out of date or collected for a totally different purpose. Ideally, an effective research project should incorporate both primary and secondary data" (p. 39).

A campaign of denigration

In this first manifestation, the child becomes obsessed with hatred of the targeted parent. Parents who were once loved and valued seemingly overnight become hated and feared. This often happens so quickly that the targeted parent cannot believe that a loving child has turned into a hateful, spiteful person who refuses to so much as share a meal.

Weak, frivolous, and absurd rationalizations for the depreciation of the targeted parent

The objections made in the campaign of denigration are often not of the magnitude that would lead a child to hate a parent, such as slurping soup or serving spicy food

A lack of ambivalence about the alienating parent

It is a truism of development that children are ambivalent about both of their parents. Even the best parents are imperfect or sets limits that cause resentment and frustration. A hallmark of PAS, however, is that the child expresses no ambivalence about the alienating parent, demonstrating an automatic, reflexive, idealized support. One parent becomes all good while the other becomes all bad.

The child strongly asserts that the decision to reject the other parent is his or her own.

This manifestation of behavior is what Gardner (1998) termed the "Independent Thinker" phenomenon in which the child adamantly claims that the negative feelings are wholly his or her own. These children deny that their feelings about the targeted parent are in any way influenced by the alienating parent. An observer might conclude that the child has been brainwashed or unduly influenced, but, to the child, the experience is authentic and self-generated.

An absence of guilt about the treatment of the targeted parent

Gratitude for gifts, favors, or child support provided by the targeted parent is nonexistent. PAS children will try to get whatever they can from the targeted parent, believing that it is owed to them and that because that parent is such a despicable person, he or she doesn't deserve to be treated with respect or gratitude.

Reflexive support for the alienating parent in the parental conflict

In this manifestation of behavior, there is no willingness or attempt to be impartial when faced with inter-parental conflicts. The PAS child has no interest in hearing the targeted parent's point-of-view. As Gardner noted, PAS children often make the case for the alienating parent better than the parent does. Nothing the targeted parent could do or say would make any difference to the PAS child.

The presence of borrowed scenarios

PAS children often make accusations toward the targeted parent that use phrases and ideas adopted wholesale from the alienating parent. One clue that a scenario is borrowed from an alienating parent is the child's use of language and ideas that he or she does not seem to understand, such as making accusations that cannot be supported with detail or using words that cannot be defined.

The hatred of the targeted parent extends to his or her extended family.

Not only is the targeted parent denigrated, despised, and avoided but so too are his or her entire family. Formerly beloved grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins are suddenly avoided and rejected (Baker & Andre, 2008, p. 11).

An analysis of child's behavior using these eight components of PAS as a framework can assist the clinicians in distinguishing between potential causes for the child's rejection of a parent because it is improbably that a child rejecting a parent as a result of abuse or poor parenting would manifest these eight behaviors (Baker & Andre, 2008). In this regard, Baker and Andre note that, "Research and theory on abused and traumatized children consistently highlight that these child victims are quick to absolve the abusive parent of all blame and express quite strongly the wish to be reunified with that parent. Further, research with targeted parents supports the presence of these eight symptoms in alienated children" (p. 11). Beyond the foregoing eight behavioral manifestations, Andre (2004) provides the following checklist of questions that clinicians should consider in order to diagnosis parental alienation syndrome (diagnosis occurs on a continuum, from mild forms of parental alienation to severe PAS):

1. Was there a high-conflict divorce and/or contentious custody litigation?

2. How extreme is the child's anger, hatred, and rejection? Is it disproportionate to any crime the parent is accused of committing?

3. Did the child have a loving relationship with the now rejected parent?

4. Is the rejection accompanied by extreme resistance to visit or a refusal to visit?

5. Does the child shun the parent in public, seeming to enjoy shocking displays of contempt, and use obscene language, verbal abuse, or cruelty?

6. Do the child's perceptions lack duality? Are they black and white, such that there is no good, only bad in the parent, and no gratitude or affection, only dislike for the parent on the part of the child?

7. Are the child's reasons for rejection of the parent trivial, insignificant, or scripted, lacking substance and accurate detail?

8. Has the child added to and embellished the script of the programming parent with his or her own contributions to the parent's badness?

9. Does the child insist that he or she has not been influenced by anyone, but that he or she has independently chosen his or her own behavior and opinions?

10. Does the child protect and idealize the programming parent? Do the actions of the idealized parent suggest an agenda of anger, negativity, or destructiveness toward the rejected parent?

11. Does the alienation extend to the family and friends of the rejected parent?

12. Does the child appear to be functioning normally in other settings, but upon further investigation, has other problematic interpersonal relationships?

Although these guidelines are not an end-all approach to the diagnosis of PAS, they can provide the clinician with some valuable information concerning the family dynamics involved and can help rule out legitimate rejection from a form that is by design of an alienating parent.

Marriage and Divorce in South Africa

The past 30 years have witnessed a number of fundamental changes in the institution of marriage -- and divorce -- in South Africa. During the period of white rule when apartheid was in place, the only form of male-female relationship that was distinguished legally as being "marriage" was the type of Christian or civil marriage practiced by the white minority (Chambers, 2000). The requirements and laws for entering into a civil marriage as well as the legal implications involved were comparable to those in place in the United States; following legal changes implemented that were enacted during the 1980s, though, all women entering into a civil marriage enjoy complete legal capacity to enter into contracts and to hold property in their own names and husband and wife alike can still marry other people while they are still married to each other (Chambers, 2000). Moreover, South African citizens must dissolve a marriage through a formal divorce proceeding which can only be obtained from a court that applies community property rules to divide marital assets and which makes the determination concerning any support or alimony payments that will be ordered as well as which parent will receive custody of any minor children (Chambers, 2000). Although interracial marriage is now legally protected, few South Africans venture outside the social norms and marry people from other races (Kalmijn, 1998; Jacobsen, Amoateng & Heaton, 2004).

Although hard statistics are difficult to come by given the number of common law marriages that are not officially recorded and which may be subsequently dissolved without an official record, there are some indications that the divorce rate in South Africa is increasing, although slightly, while the number of officially solemnized marriages is increasing significantly. In 2003, the total number of officially recorded marriages in South Africa stood at 178,689, representing an increase of less than 1% (0.8%) compared with the 177,202 marriages that took place in 2002 (Marriages and divorces, 2003, 2005). Of these, a significant number (92,286) of officially recorded marriages were solemnized by civil rites in 2003 representing substantially more than half (55.6%) of all officially recorded marriages in the country (Marriages and divorces, 2003, 2005). In addition, more than one-quarter (28.7%) of all officially recorded marriages were solemnized through religious ceremonies (Marriages and divorces, 2003, 2005). These trends in South African marriages are illustrated graphically in Figure 1 below.

Figure 1. Number of Official Recorded Marriages in South Africa: 2002-2003

The estimates of the divorce rate in South Africa in 2002 was 0.81 per 1,000 people, indicating that for every 100 marriages, about eight will end up in divorce (Nugman, 2002). This 0.81% figure for 2002 was cited by several sources identified during an online search for relevant statistics. In 2003, though, the overall number of officially recorded divorces in South Africa was 31,566, representing a slight increase of less than 1% (0.6%) when compared to the 31,370 for 2002 (Marriages and divorces, 2003, 2005). Despite this slight increase, there was a minor corresponding decrease in the actual number of children involved in a divorce proceeding from 2002 to 2003. For instance, in 2003, there were in total 33,424 minor children involved in divorce, a figure that was less than the 34,400 recorded in 2002 (Marriages and divorces, 2003, 2005). These trends are illustrated graphically in Figure 2 below.

Figure 2. Number of Minor Children Involved in Divorce in South Africa: 2002-2003

Notwithstanding the minor decrease from 2002 to 2003 in the number of children involved in a divorce in South Africa, the fact remains that more than 33,000 minor children were still involved and, based on Gardner's original estimates that approximately 10% of children who are involved in a divorce become victims of parental alienation syndrome, this statistic suggests that there may be several thousand minor children suffering from the effect of parental alienation syndrome in ways that remain better described than understood in the scholarly literature, particularly as it applies to South Africa.

Conclusion

The research showed that the term parental alienation syndrome was first described in the scholarly literature by Wallerstein and Kelly who defined a pathological alignment between an angry divorcing parent and his or her child and PAS was given additional impetus by Richard Gardner who used to term to describe a situation in which one parent uses the children of a failed marriage to attack the other parent. The research also showed that although this type of manipulative behavior has likely existed as long as humans have been getting married and divorced, the adverse effects that such behaviors can have on the minor children of a divorced couple are profound and long-lasting, even extending over the course of the entire life-span. Although there remains a lack of consensus concerning what diagnostic tools are best suited for parental alienation syndrome, the research showed that there are some guidelines available that can help clinicians distinguish between instances of PAS and legitimate rejection by a child of a parent. Finally, the research was consistent in emphasizing that there is a dire need for additional studies of PAS in general and how it affects minor children in South Africa in particular, and the study proposed herein will help to fill this gap.