Self-talk experiences and their role in attraction

¶ … Self-Talk

The idea of a connection between how we think and the state of our metal and physical health is not new. What is new is the increasing interest in and willingness of the professional medical community in testing various proposed methodologies for improving human health by engaging human thought and emotion. As Williams (2007) states: "The close links between the body and emotion mean that our bodies function as highly sensitive emotion detectors. They are giving us moment-to-moment readouts of our emotional state." Many people ignore what their bodies tell them about their mental state. As time goes by their minds and bodies become more and more off balance, blocked or contracted. They become less and less able to function normally, leading eventually to mental or physical ill health (M. Williams, Teasdale, Segal, & Kabat-Zinn, 2007).

What has also become very clear is the enormous effect of self-talk on people's life. What we say about ourselves and our actions within the privacy of our own thoughts has an impact on both our mental and physical health. Negative thoughts such as "I sound like a complete idiot" or "I can't possibly remember all this information, I'll certainly fail the test" will result in a depressed or panicked state of mind which will make it difficult if not impossible to create a positive outcome. If we make it a habit of talking to ourselves in a negative manner it can result in serious depression (Clore & Gaynor, 2006). Women are particularly vulnerable with 20% of all women suffering from major depression during their lives (M. Williams, Teasdale, Segal, & Kabat-Zinn, 2007, p. 16).

Fortunately, it is also true that if we speak to ourselves in a positive fashion we can instill a cheerful and confident state of mind in ourselves. Statements such as "I enjoy talking to people," or "I've done a good job of reviewing the materials, I'm sure I'll do well on the test" will create a much more upbeat from of mind. This kind of self-talk is so powerful that it has become a mainstay in athletic competition (Jango, 2003).

The power of the mind to affect people's lives has been well-known in Eastern philosophies for centuries. The power of negative self-talk to create misery was well understood. Buddhism teaches that unhappiness results from the mind constantly judging whether an event is good, bad or indifferent. The mind will want to hold on to what it judges to be good and reject what it judges to be bad. This is called being "attached to thought" and is considered the mark of an "undisciplined" mind (Weil, 2005, p. 214). His Holiness the Dalai Lama States (2006), "If your mind is scattered, it is powerless. Distraction here and there opens the way for counterproductive emotions, leading to many kinds of trouble" (p. 88).

The antidote for this "undisciplined" mind is, of course, "discipline." Discipline was instilled through the use of meditation to develop mindfulness. Thich Nhat Hanh, a highly respected Buddhist teacher from Vietnam, offers this definition, "Mindfulness means to be present, to be aware of what is going on. This energy is very crucial for the practice. The energy of mindfulness is like a big brother or big sister, holding a young one in her arms, taking good care of the suffering child, which is our anger, despair, or jealousy" (p. 67).

To bring our self-talk under our control is necessary for our well-being. It is even beneficial in enhancing the quality of our relationships with other people (Wachs & Cordova, 2007).

How to develop these skills can be a problem for some people.

While Buddhism and other Eastern philosophies have developed an effective program for attaining that goal, not everyone is interested in following that path. Their programs include religious training, extensive meditation training, as well as encouraging a temporary withdrawal from everyday life. Many westerners will not want to take the extensive amounts of time needed to establish a full meditation practice, cannot afford to completely withdraw from their current lives or are simply turned off by the religious aspects of such training.

During the 1970's, interest in the Eastern philosophies began in psychotherapy. Useful methods that combined western psychology with meditation were developed in order to help people change the way they think and so change their lives. These new techniques were found to be as effective as drugs and worked very rapidly (Weil, 2005).

Several methodologies have evolved in that explicitly use the link between mind and body. The field of positive psychology and the methodology of mindfulness training have become very popular. Positive psychology is of much more recent vintage having emerged within the last ten years (Ingram & Snyder, 2006). Positive psychology aims not only to correct poor mental health, but also to improve the quality of life (Karwoski, Garratt, & Ilardi, 2006).

Mindfulness and Positive psychology have been applied in many areas, often with good results. They have been used for the treatment of depression (Kenny & Williams, 2007), eating disorders (Singh et al., 2008), suicide prevention (Barnhofer et al., 2007), issues with fibromyalgia (Rodero, Garcia Campayo, Casanueva Fernandez, & Sobradiel, in press), school psychology (Terjesen, Jacofsky, Froh, & DiGiuseppe, 2004), issues with aging (Smith, Graham, & Senthinathan, 2007), psychoses (Gaudiano & Herbert, 2006), anxiety (Evans et al., 2008), bipolar disorder (Williams et al., 2008), relationships (Wachs, 2007), and the even reduction of symptoms associated with organ transplants (Gross et al., 2004).

The Positive

Since World War II, the emphasis in psychology has been on the negative. Focusing on maladaptive behavior in people (Bono & McCollough, 2006) and treating mental health illness as a disease to be cured (Terjesen et al., 2004). This practice has been fairly successful over years. Still, some people began to wonder if the emphasis on the negative was in fact, missing a valuable part of the picture. In focusing exclusively on disease, quality of life issues seem to have been brushed under the rug (Ingram & Snyder, 2006). Positive psychology was born to address this perceived imbalance.

As a balancing methodology, positive psychology was offered as an adjunct to already existing medical and psychological practices. One fruitful partnership is with cognitive behavior therapy. Cognitive behavior therapy seeks to modify thought patterns. The idea is to change those patterns from negative and maladaptive to positive and beneficial. Cognitive behavior therapy also tries to give the patient permanent cognitive skills that will prevent relapse into the previous negative habits of thought. This technique is often used to treat depression. Unfortunately, it also has a recovery rate that hovers below 50% (Karwoski et al., 2006).

Enter Positive psychology. Positive psychology seeks to encourage positive character traits and emotions through a series defined exercises (Seligman, Steen, Park, & Peterson, 2005). There were a number of concepts in common between cognitive behavior therapy and positive psychology. Both believe in the benefit of a strong alliance between the therapist and patient. They both also structure their programs into a series of clear set goals. They emphasized a focus on the present, not the past. Their procedures were created to produce cognitive reappraisal in the patient. Above all, the patient is seen as an active partner with control over what is happening during the process (Karwoski et al., 2006).

The hope is that combining the strengths of cognitive behavior therapy and positive psychology would increase the success rate in treating depression patients. There is certainly much room for improvement over cognitive behavior therapy alone (Ingram & Snyder, 2006).

The results have been very encouraging.

Mindfulness is a technique described as a method for changing how we pay attention (M. Williams et al., 2007). This is a technique clearly suited to the treatment of depression. While mindfulness has been found to be highly effective, until recently there have been few attempts to discover exactly how it works.

In a recent article, Shapiro et al. (2006) attempted to construct a model of how mindfulness operates. Shapiro suggests that three conditions must be present for mindfulness to work. The first is intention. The second is attention, and the third is attitude. Shapiro finds that intention will set the condition for what can occur. Intention is allowed to change over time. For example, a young mother may begin meditation in order to reduce stress. As she continues her practice she may develop a second goal of being more patient with her child.

Attention is the act of observing the workings of one's mind and environment minute by minute without imposing any interpretation (good or bad) on any event. This practice is the very center of mindfulness. The third attribute is attitude. Attitude refers to the type of attention you are using. Are you being calm and accepting or harsh and critical? You must consciously make a decision and statement to yourself about what type of attention you are going to use. Shapiro finds that these three conditions work together to bring about a change in perception. This change is the basis for transformation in the person that is characteristic of mindfulness (Shapiro et al., 2006).

Combining cognitive behavior therapy with mindfulness is called mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. In one study mindfulness-based cognitive therapy was applied to depression patients that had shown a resistance to typical cognitive behavior therapy treatment. The patients were taught mindfulness-based cognitive therapy techniques to disengage the old destructive patterns of thought that held them in a depressed state. Using mindfulness-based cognitive therapy techniques, these patients improved from their previous depression levels and some returned to nearly normal mood levels (Kenny & Williams, 2007).

A study using normal, undergraduate students compared a focused breathing technique (similar to some meditation techniques) with unfocused attention and worrying. The students were divided into three sections. Each section saw a recorded 15 minute exercise on each technique. The students were then shown a series of slides, some were neutral and some were negative. The intensity of the student's reactions to each slide was recorded. The focused breathing group displayed the most emotional equanimity to all slides, demonstrating the ability of mindfulness to regulate emotional responses (Arch & Craske, 2006).

Another study applied mindfulness-based cognitive therapy in elderly people experiencing depression. All participants in this study were over 65 years of age. The patients themselves felt that the mindfulness-based cognitive therapy techniques were very helpful in relieving depression. The researchers felt that mindfulness-based cognitive therapy could be a cost-effective method for depression therapy (Smith et al., 2007).

Two particular methodologies in cognitive behavior-therapy have proven to be very effective. The first is known as Dialectical Behavior Therapy. The second is known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Both of these methodologies are centered on mindfulness practices (Chapman, 2006). (the two different methods were developed in completely different ways. Dialectical Behavior Therapy was developed by Marsha Linehan in the early eighties. She was working with suicidal women with borderline personality disorder. She found that her patients were reacting poorly or even dropping out of the techniques she had been using. To counteract these tendencies, Linehan introduced mindfulness and Zen practices. Additionally she brought in acceptance-based practices. Linehan sought to show her patients with these methods that she accepted them and to help them accept themselves. Dialectical Behavior therapy was constructed by modifying existing therapies being used with clinical experience and research Chapman, 2006).