Betty Rollin's "The Best Years of My Life": Cancer as Catalyst

Cancer and other terminal illnesses can have devastating effects not just on bodies but also on minds. Survivors cope using different mental and emotional tools. Some become bogged down by self-pity and resentment. Some do little to change their lives once their cancer goes into remission. Others might turn to drugs or alcohol or become depressed. Betty Rollin avoids these negative pitfalls of coping with disease. The author describes illness as an opportunity for growth. In The Best Years of My Life, Betty Rollin describes getting breast cancer as a blessing in disguise. She used her illness as a catalyst for personal and spiritual transformation. All the negative aspects of her diagnosis are turned into positive elements. Rollin changed her career, developed creative pursuits, and, most importantly, altered her outlook on and attitude toward life. Rollin's essay inspires readers to live life to the fullest, whether or not they have cancer.

Rollin opens by celebrating her "cancer anniversary" — the five-year mark after her diagnosis. According to Rollin, patients who survive cancer-free for five years have an 80% chance of surviving a normal life span. A cancer anniversary might seem gruesome; however, to Rollin the anniversary is as significant as her birthday. Because she is still alive and cancer-free, she is filled with a gratitude she might not otherwise feel. She notes that while her friends whine about turning 40, she rejoices at staving off death. Instead of bemoaning the fifth anniversary of a terminal illness as many people might, Rollin celebrates it as the beginning of her new life.

Cancer is not fun, Rollin admits. She acknowledges the fear that gripped her when she was first diagnosed, describing cancer as the "worst thing that has ever happened to me." Rollin also mentions the ravages of chemotherapy, which she did not personally need but understands can be devastating. To remove the tumor in her breast, Rollin was forced to have the breast removed. The flat spot on her chest is, in her view, a "small price" to pay for the blessing of her life.

Being afraid of a recurrence of cancer is also a blessing, according to Rollin. The fear of death and illness forces her to contemplate her mortality. A lingering fear of death prompts Rollin to seize every opportunity to live well and live fully. She has put life's trivial stressors into perspective. After having cancer, her bosses no longer get to her, and little can truly make her upset. Not even other illnesses are daunting, because nothing could be as frightening as cancer itself. Rollin even points out how relieved she is when she is diagnosed with something minor like the flu. Her hypochondria has made her appreciate her good health on a daily basis. Rollin notes that not all doctors understand her hypochondria — some belittle her fear, while others reassure her that the ailment is not cancer.

One of the ways cancer has changed Rollin's outlook on life is that she is, in her own words, "less worried about what people think of me, both professionally and socially." Her self-consciousness is gone, because worrying about what other people think is trivial compared with the reality of mortality. Rollin also claims she is "less concerned about where my career is going." Her career is only a small part of who she is. In fact, she notes that if it were not for getting cancer, she never would have had the courage to take a sabbatical to write a book. Cancer gave Rollin the courage to pursue creative ambitions and take great risks in life. She also takes risks by spending money. She admits she used to be frugal before she got sick, and now, five years later, she has become willing to fly first class and splurge on things she never would have before. Ironically, having cancer has made Rollin less fearful in general.