Helping a Child with Homework Do's and Don'ts

Problem Solving

Introduction

The problem of a parent providing more help than is necessary for a child’s school work is one all parents face. The challenge in this particular scenario is that the parent wants the child to learn to be self-confident and capable on his own. However, he sees another parent at the store buying supplies and making plans to do the work his own child. Should the parent do the same? This paper analyzes the problem, suggests options, evaluates them, makes a decision about which option is best, how that option should be implemented and reflects upon the outcome.

Analysis

When engaging in critical thinking, it is important to identify the problem, gather information from various sources, decide which information is most relevant to the problem, and make a decision based on that data (Pithers & Soden, 2000). The first step is thus to identify the problem. In this scenario, the problem is that the father of the child does not know to what extent he should help his child. He sees another parent doing more than he himself planned to do and it gives him pause: should he be doing more? His initial plan had been to let the child do it on his own, but the child has missed some important aspects to the assignment. Thus, the parent is thinking about intervening—but to what extent he should do so is the question.

Options

Clearly there are three options available to the parent. Option 1 is do nothing and allow the child to learn on his own. Option 2 is intervene as a guide only and point out areas where the child needs to focus attention but beyond that do nothing. Option 3 is to intervene totally by not only guiding but also doing the project with the child so that the parent is certain it is done fully and completely.

Evaluation

When considering options in decision-making, it is important to remember the goal that one is seeking to achieve (Schoenfeld, 2010). The best option is going to be the one that allows the person to achieve the goal most effectively (Larrick, Heath & Wu, 2009). The goal of the parent is to ensure that the child learns to do work on his own so that he can feel self-confident and grow in the ability to be a responsible student. The child is not going to learn responsibility or obtain self-confidence if he is not required to work on assignments by himself and be accountable for what he does and does not do on them. Awareness of this goal should necessarily exclude Option 3 from the discussion.

However, the parent is contemplating Option 3 because he sees another parent choosing it. But is this information relevant to the problem at hand? Not at all. The other parent may not have the same goal as the parent of the scenario; his actions have no bearing on this parent’s goal of raising a self-actualizing child. Even in the face of this additional information, the parent must reject Option 3—the additional information is not relevant to the problem and has no bearing on the goal.

Thus, the two options that should be considered are Option 1 and Option 2. Option 1 is certainly in line with the goal of the parent, but it leaves something to be desired because it is completely hands-off and the parent can see that the child has not approached the assignment with sufficient attention to detail. Option 2 would allow the parent to point out these mistakes that the child has made. The question is which option would be better in helping the child to become self-actualizing, self-confident, accountable and responsible for his own work?

Option 1 would certainly put the ball in the child’s court completely. But the child is not going to learn anything about responsibility this way unless he is also motivated by guidance (in this case it would have to come from the teacher) to pay more attention to detail. Should the parent trust the teacher to provide this guidance, or is it not also his responsibility as a parent to provide it? As a parent, he does have some responsibility in guiding his child, as this actually supports the teacher’s intent. Option 2, on the other hand, allows the parent to intervene by pointing out the areas the child has neglected to address. It also limits the parent’s intervention to guidance only. The child is still responsible for addressing these issues. The parent also provides the motivation and sense of expectation he has for the child, and if the guidance is given in a supportive and loving manner, the child will also be more likely to believe in himself and strive to achieve what his parent hopes for him to accomplish. This is the essence of supplying one with intrinsic motivation, which fosters self-actualization (Gerhart & Fang, 2015).

Decision

Option 2 (limited intervention—guidance only) is the best option. It allows the parent to achieve the goal of raising the child to be self-sufficient, self-confident, and self-acutalizing.

Implementation

Implementing the chosen solution should be done with empathy, supportiveness and encouragement. Simply pointing out mistakes to a child and the stepping back can be discouraging for a child. It is better to guide the child in determining whether he has covered all the bases of the assignment. Instead, of saying to the child, “You missed x, y and z,” say to him: “Have you checked your work? It is always wise to go back over the instructions to make sure you covered everything. Sometimes it is easy to miss important details, and double-checking can help you make sure you haven’t missed anything. I want you to get a good grade so let’s go over the assignment together to double-check.” This keeps the ball in the child’s court, but the parent is also providing the child with a vision of expectations and showing support so that the child does not feel isolated or discouraged.

Reflection

This option is most effective at solving the problem because it fosters responsibility in the child. The parent is guiding but not doing the assignment for the child. The child still retains control; the parent is merely acting as a consultant who can help the child to see more clearly where he has failed to address certain aspects of the assignment. By not doing the assignment for the child, the parent is showing the child that this is the child’s work and that the child must learn to take ownership of it. But by guiding him, he is also showing the child how to check his work more thoroughly.