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In the Modern Family episode entitled Spanks for the Memories, (Season , Episode 15), Joe and Gloria have a miscommunication that leads to interpersonal conflict. Although it ends humorously and without overt discord on the show, this type of conflict could have resulted in a complete communication breakdown and possibly lead to the demise of the relationship. In this episode, though, Joe and Gloria use relationship maintenance behaviors like being willing to talk directly and openly about their issues and by using involvement behaviors that enhance intimacy and empathy.
Relationship maintenance means acknowledging the inevitability of change, and addressing any issues that need to be fixed. Both Joe and Gloria have been aware that their sex life needs a spark. Yet neither has yet to vocalize their discontent or address the matter directly. Avoidance, which refers to sidestepping discussions about a specific topic or evading the partner, is a negative relationship maintenance behavior, (Bevan & Sole, 2014, Section 8.1). Joe also uses another negative relationship maintenance behavior in this episode: spying. He spies on Gloria while she is talking on the phone to her friend, and as a result, he misconstrues what he heard. These are negative behaviors that, if left to fester,...…and before she relied on the faulty information shared by Mitchell and Cam. However, the intimate communication and involvement behaviors helped to strengthen and maintain their relationship.
Invested and committed to their marriage, Joe and Gloria exemplify positive conflict resolution within an interpersonal relationship. Although at first, they used dysfunctional communication behaviors, they sought out social support and used active empathic listening to achieve mutual goals. This episode illustrates the importance of active relationship maintenance, which entails constructive solutions to conflicts, and avoiding problematic behaviors like avoidance, destructive conflict like fighting, or even infidelity: all of which could have easily happened to a couple…
References
Bevan, J. L., & Sole, K. (2014). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication (2nd ed.)Modern Family. Season 9, Episode 15.
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