Rhetorical Strategies for Lying: White Lies, Equivocation, and Hinting

Introduction to Self-Disclosure and Lying

Honest self-disclosure is an important factor that strengthens interpersonal relationships, as it is a manifestation of one's trust and sincerity toward another individual. However, there are sometimes situations or pieces of information about oneself that cannot be easily disclosed. Reasons vary: disclosure of personal information may threaten or weaken a relationship, or the individual may simply not yet be ready to let his or her partner know about particular aspects of his or her life.

One alternative to self-disclosure is lying. Defined as the "deliberate attempt to hide or misrepresent the truth," lying is considered unethical because it is an act of disinformation and a breach of one's trust (Adler, 1998, p. 332). There are many reasons why people lie: to avoid tension or conflict, to save face from embarrassment or shame, to guide social interaction, to expand or reduce relationships, or sometimes to gain power.

Reasons for Lying and the Role of Rhetorical Strategies

Some people regard lying as an outright form of unethical behavior. Accordingly, there are three rhetorical strategies that allow individuals to avoid self-disclosing information without directly committing to the act of lying. These strategies are: white lying, equivocating, and hinting (Adler, 1998, pp. 335–338).

To better understand these strategies, a hypothetical example is helpful. Suppose that you have decided to live with your partner and feel the need to be truthful about your character and attitudes. Although you still feel hesitant to disclose every personal detail about yourself, you want your partner to gradually develop a sense of your personality. Suppose also that the information you want to convey — yet not fully disclose — is your dislike for having children in the home. You consider this a problem because your partner has expressed a desire to establish a family and have children with you.

White Lying

The first rhetorical strategy, white lying, seems to be the safest way to avoid conflict between you and your partner. Through a white lie, you tell your partner that you are fine with having children, and agree with his or her decision to start a family. This strategy is a helpful short-term way to avoid conflict or tension; however, in the long run it can be a disadvantage to your relationship. White lies can be sustained for only a limited time, and eventually you will have to be honest about how you truly feel about the issue.

Conclusion

Each of the three rhetorical strategies — white lying, equivocation, and hinting — offers a distinct way to navigate the tension between honesty and self-protection in interpersonal relationships. White lying provides immediate relief from conflict but is difficult to sustain. Equivocation allows a speaker to remain truthful in a technical sense while still conveying ambiguity. Hinting goes furthest in communicating one's genuine position while preserving relational harmony. Together, these strategies illustrate that communication between partners rarely falls into a simple binary of complete honesty or outright deception.

Reference

Adler, R. (1998). Interplay: The process of interpersonal communication. Harcourt Brace.