The Social Psychology of Touch: Norms, Stigmas, and Human Connection

Introduction

Physical contact between human beings — often involving intent, and commonly known simply as "touch" — is a distinctly human characteristic that allows us to move far beyond basic animal instinct into a realm of emotional connection. As human beings, we come into the world craving the touch of another person, and this desire lasts throughout our lives. As infants, we reach toward our mothers. As children, we desire the touch of a parent wiping away tears or tending to a scraped knee. As teenagers, we hold hands or share a first kiss. As adults, we engage in sexual intimacy that carries an unparalleled sense of closeness. As grandparents, we hold our grandchildren, and on our deathbeds, we reach for a hand to hold as we leave this world.

While touching remains a central part of human existence, it brings with it many different stigmas and norms that shift as one travels from place to place. Touching in the social realm, for instance, varies significantly from mechanical contact in the physical realm. Different societies prescribe vastly different rules when it comes to touching. An inadvertent touch is nothing compared to touch that carries intent, yet even unintentional contact can be considered offensive in certain contexts. Above all, it must be understood that touch — depending on the situation in which it occurs — can carry many different attributes, such as love, lust, power, or fear. In beginning to understand the many facets of touch, one must consider what scholars and laypeople alike continue to debate in a world of increasing technology and decreasing physical human interaction.

The Nature of Touching

As noted above, touching involves the bodily connection of two individuals, whether voluntary or involuntary. As human beings, we constantly use nonverbal signals when in the presence of others. Research has identified two important points regarding the nonverbal behavior found in human encounters: (1) while we are in the presence of another person, we are constantly sending signals about our attitudes, feelings, and personality; and (2) others may become particularly adept at sensing and interpreting these signals, which often involves or leads to touch (Hall and Knapp, 2007, p. 24). Such nonverbal communication often speaks directly to individual emotions, and the ability to touch can make individuals more comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. Consider, for example, an individual waiting anxiously in a doctor's waiting room for the results of a serious blood test. While the doctor may verbally deliver a negative — meaning all-clear — result, a quick pat on the patient's shoulder upon entering the room can signal reassurance before a single word is spoken (Connor and Howett, 2009, p. 128).

This ability to interpret nonverbal communication is the very essence of human touch, and the capacity to connect on this level is often cultivated from infancy. As infants and children, we learn the intricacies of human behavior through observation and, most importantly, through interaction. Touch is one of the most important factors in infancy that will shape our future development. Research has found, for instance, that institutional isolation — often found in orphanages in developing nations — deprives children of the opportunity to engage with touch, and therefore with emotional engagement (Harmon, 2010, p. 1). For these children, where touch has been largely absent since birth, the risk of behavioral, emotional, and social problems in adulthood increases significantly.

This type of developmental lapse can be mitigated through the fostering of touch and open communication as early as infancy. For an infant, a mother's consistent touch not only reduces stress in the baby but also opens the lines of infant-mother communication, which will grow as the child begins interacting outside the home (Feldman, Singer and Zagoory, 2009, p. 271; Feldman, Ferber and Makhoul, 2007, p. 364). This research makes it increasingly clear that in order for touch to function on an emotional level — a function of humanity that serves to distinguish us from animals — touch and its connection to inner emotion must be kept at the forefront of child development.

It is this link to emotion that sets touch apart from other forms of nonverbal communication. Psychologists have long studied the grunts and expressions of nonverbal behavior — "the vocal and facial expressions that carry emotion" (Carey, 2010, p. 1). However, such observations cannot bring us nearly as close to true emotion as the observation of touch can. A warm tone of voice and a hostile stare both carry the same basic meaning in Indiana or in Mali, and these are just a few among dozens of signals that form the human vocabulary (Carey, 2010, p. 1). Touch, on the other hand, while nonverbal, is essentially the first language we as humans learn. A soft touch from a mother's hand to a baby's face means more to that infant's development than any utterance in an unknown language could. Momentary touches, research suggests — "whether an exuberant high-five, a warm hand on the shoulder, or a creepy touch to the arm" — communicate an even wider range of emotion than any gesture, expression, or word (Carey, 2010, p. 1).

Cultural Differentiation

Just as expressions vary across cultures and languages, so too can touch carry very different meanings depending on where one is in the world. In the United States, individuals think nothing of walking into a business meeting and shaking hands with many people in the room despite never having met them. In a crowded American bar, patrons think nothing of placing a hand on an adjacent person's shoulder while squeezing past. After bumping into someone in a store, it is not uncommon for the person at fault to place a hand on the other person's hand or elbow while apologizing. However, these common American practices say nothing about their reception elsewhere in the world.

The handshake, for example, is common to many cultures but carries its own set of variations. In the United States, individuals favor a firm, briefly held handshake. In parts of Northern Europe, a quick "one-pump" shake is the norm (Diener, 2009, p. 1). In parts of Southern Europe and in Central and South America, the handshake is much longer and "warmer," often including clasped hands or a touch of the elbow. In Turkey, a firm handshake is considered rude or aggressive (Diener, 2009, p. 1). In certain African countries, a limp handshake is standard, while men in Islamic cultures will not shake the hand of a woman outside their own family under any circumstances (Diener, 2009, p. 1). In understanding the differences in something as seemingly simple as a handshake, one can begin to appreciate how more intimate forms of touch — ranging from a hug to sexual contact — carry vastly different norms depending on geographical and cultural context, and how touching in a manner considered inappropriate within a given culture can carry a strong social stigma. Moreover, while touch and its repercussions vary from nation to nation, they also vary from person to person.

Conclusion

As seen through an examination of the many facets of touch within humanity and its direct link to emotion, one can begin to understand how personal and subjective the notion of touch can be — across cultures and across individual lives. While for many of us touch provides a feeling of safety and calm, for others it brings about fear and discomfort. In understanding touch's power to draw out such intense emotions, it is essential to become familiar with both the cultural and personal standards that govern physical contact among humans. In understanding the basic nature of touch — its ability to connect and to divide, along with the cultural norms and stigmas it carries throughout the world — it becomes immediately clear that touch is far more complex than it may appear at first glance.