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Telehealth Counseling Transcript:
Intergenerational Issues with Grandparents
Hello! My name is X. Its wonderful to meet you today. I understand the reason you have come here is due to some conflicts you have been experiencing with your mother regarding the raising of your daughter. Because you work long hours, and because your 10-year-old daughter Tina enjoys spending time with her grandmother, your mother often watches Tina when you cannot be with her when Tina comes home after school. However, you have had some concerns about how Tina is being raised by your mother.
For example, although you have not raised Tina within a specific faith, you say that you were furious that your mother discussed God and her Catholic religion with Tina. You say that you are afraid it will instill some of the guilt regarding sexuality that you had to cope with when you were growing up as a child. I know that your mother has warned Tina not to eat too many sweets for fear of getting fat, while you have tried to raise Tina without guilt regarding eating-related issues. According to the existing research, greater family satisfaction is associated with strong relationships with caregiving parents and grandparents (Goodman, 2003). However, you must address boundary issues with your mother, and discuss your concerns with your daughter in a positive fashion, without invalidating her relationship with her grandmother.
For example, if Tina brings up her confusion about what is true regarding religion, you can attempt to explain in an age-appropriate way your ideological differences between...…mother that she is still capable of making a valuable contribution to society and to the world. I would like to meet with both you and your mother to discuss these issues next time.
Finally, there may also be an issue with the fact that your mother may be struggling to contain a very energetic child during her visits, and there may be difficulties in finding enough things for Tina to do to keep her occupied. Transferring more of the caregiving burden to another source, such as a trusted family friend, or finding additional after-school activities for Tina might be useful if your mother is finding it hard to assume so much of the burden. This might also reduce some of your anxiety about having a personal conflict…
References
Goodman, C.C. (2003). Intergenerational triads in grandparent-headed families. The Journals ofGerontology: Series B, 58 (5) S281–S289, https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/58.5.S281
Stelle, C., Fruhauf, C. A., Orel, N., & Landry-Meyer, L. (2010). Grandparenting in the 21stcentury: Issues of diversity in grandparent-grandchild relationships. Journal of Gerontological Social Work, 53 (8), 682–701. https://doi.org/10.1080/01634372.2010.516804
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