The American Tween: Parents and Peers
A tweens world is strongly influenced by multiple external forces in their lives besides their parents, including most especially sibling, peers, their schools, the media and the communities in which they live. It is therefore not surprising that many tweens feel compelled for reasons that are beyond easy understanding to behave in ways that are contrary to just what their parents want and expect (Frydenberg et al., 2019). It is also not surprising that many adults interpret such behaviors as being rebellious and even anti-social, particularly since these types of behaviors are novel for many young people.
In the chapter, The Science of Teen Rebellion, the point is made that tweens are essentially professional prevaricators who do not even really realize when they are lying to their parents because this type of response is so ingrained. The point is also made, though, that tweens are reluctant to tell their parents the truth about many topics and routinely lie about a significant percentage of them even when they...
In this regard, Bronson and Merryman emphasize that, [They] lie about what they spend their allowance on, and whether theyve started dating, and what clothes they put on away from the house (p. 138). In other words, tweens feel compelled to...…when their bodies need it (p. 3). The most profound point made by Wong (2017), though, is that the empathy deficit many adults harbor toward middle schoolers, dismissing their angsty behaviors and tumultuous emotions as trivial rather than a natural part of human development.The foregoing issues mean that reframing middle school not as an inherent nightmare but rather as a pivotal exploratory phase can help adults to have more patience, openness and understanding during these formative years. In sum, Wong (2017) calls on adults to create nurturing environments where tweens can safely make mistakes, learn from them, and gradually gain the independence and self-assurance they will need as contributing, adult…
References
Bronson, P. & Merryman, A. The Science of Teen Rebellion. In Nurture Shock.
Frydenberg, E. et al. (2019). Promoting well-being in the pre-school years: Research, acquisition and strategies. Routledge.
Wong, A. (2019). Why Is Middle School So Hard for So Many People? The Atlantic, 1-3.
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