Domestic Violence, Children, and Social Learning Theory

Introduction

Domestic violence is a globally recognized predicament. It has been acknowledged as a worldwide problem on the basis that it significantly affects the physical condition and welfare of victims. Domestic violence can be described as the aggression, violence, or brutality directed at or practiced on an intimate partner, where both the abuser and the abused share a residence. Women are generally thought to be the primary sufferers of domestic violence; however, children are also exposed to it on a large scale (Jouriles, McDonald, Slep, Heyman & Garrido, 2008). A considerable number of women aged between 19 and 44 are killed after suffering continuous domestic violence, and most of these women have children who witness the most horrifying violence imaginable (Underwood, 2006). In most cases, not only the woman but her child or children also suffer violence at the hands of male members of the household, including head-butting, beating, throwing objects, dragging along the street, and even attacking with harmful weapons such as knives (Underwood, 2006).

Child abuse is the mistreatment or abandonment of children through emotional, physical, or sexual disregard. In most cases, parents are the abusers of their own offspring; however, guardians and other individuals responsible for the well-being and safety of children are also found maltreating them. Physical abuse includes beating, whipping, and striking children without justification over petty and insignificant issues. Children are also used as a means of sexual gratification — they are raped, molested, and used for pornographic purposes, causing everlasting damage to their personalities. Elders emotionally mistreat children by humiliating them in front of others. Other forms of emotional abuse include scapegoating, unjustified punishments, and the regular use of abusive language. Negligence regarding children's education or health is also a form of child abuse, as is exposing children to unsafe, aggressive material or smoking in their presence. All of these are forms of abuse experienced by children living within environments of domestic violence (Child Abuse, The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition, 2009).

Child abuse is regarded as a problem increasing at a fast pace. Young victims suffer serious emotional and mental damage as a result of continuous abuse. Physical injuries can be seen, but injuries to the mind and soul are not visible — there is no instrument that can measure the psychosomatic damage a child endures as a victim of domestic violence. Most children who belong to poor families are the victims of domestic violence (Child Abuse, The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition, 2009).

Forms of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is the most significant originating cause of child abuse and neglect (Jouriles, McDonald, Slep, Heyman & Garrido, 2008). There are a number of interrelated causes that instigate child abuse and neglect. Contributing factors include the personality of the abuser, the characteristics of the child, and the circumstances of the family. Research shows that abusers were frequently themselves abused during their early life. By abusing their own children, they appear to take revenge for what was done to them. In many cases, abusers lack the knowledge, education, and parenting skills required for raising a child, and out of their inadequacy, they unnecessarily mistreat their children in the name of teaching discipline and obedience. Alcoholism and drug addiction are also recognized causes of abusive behavior. It is also a bitter reality that mentally or physically disabled children become targets of domestic violence more often than children who are physically and mentally healthy. Household circumstances such as marital conflict, divorce or separation, financial scarcity, unemployment, and social isolation are additional factors that catalyze domestic violence (Child Abuse, The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition, 2009).

Children growing up in environments where domestic violence is common witness their mothers being beaten by their fathers on a daily basis. They watch brutal and cruel attacks in which their fathers physically harm their mothers. In many cases, when a woman was holding a child, the abuser struck her with an object without considering that the child could be injured as well. Irrespective of the children's safety, men attacked women violently even while the women were caring for the children. Many children witnessed their fathers using weapons, objects, fists, or feet to injure their mothers. Physical wounds suffered by women include broken bones, black eyes, and, in severe cases, miscarriages. Physical abuses that children directly suffer include being spat on, being forced to eat raw items, being dragged down stairs, and having their ears twisted (McGee, 2000).

The abuser erodes children's self-worth and self-assurance by abusing them psychologically and emotionally. He disparages and criticizes every action of the children. Rather than resorting only to physical abuse, the abuser employs the systematic emotional torture of children. Such children lose their self-esteem and self-confidence completely, as they are constantly humiliated, disgraced, and dishonored. The most common form of emotional abuse is name-calling. Some abusers mock a child's disabilities. Showing cruelty to a child's pet, keeping the mother away from the child, threatening to send a child away, refusing to allow play, and depriving the child of sleep are other forms of emotional abuse. It is very difficult for children to find ways to cope with the crushing behavior of the abuser. Most children can tolerate physical injuries more readily than they can forget the injuries inflicted on their hearts and souls (McGee, 2000).

Children not only suffer emotional damage themselves — they also witness their fathers embarrassing, mortifying, and degrading their mothers. The abuser insults the mother in front of the children and blames her for everything. Constant threats of killing the woman and children are used by the abuser, which keeps the victims in a persistent state of fear and dread. Children raised in such an environment, where they see their mother being constantly insulted by their father, tend to develop emotional problems that permanently become part of their lives.

Sexual violence is most commonly perpetrated by ex-partners of women. Most women who have suffered domestic violence reported being raped after the abuser had already physically or emotionally abused them (McGee, 2000). In some cases, children were forced to witness the molestation of their mothers. One can only imagine the psychological condition of a child who witnessed such a devastating incident. In households where domestic sexual violence occurs, male members may also rape their daughters, stepdaughters, and sisters.

When asked, a number of victims who experienced domestic violence in their childhood were unable to identify a single concrete reason why their fathers abused them. Control, they concluded, was the basic motivating factor governing their fathers' personalities and, in some cases, the personalities of their mothers or guardians. The violent individual's need to control and command every aspect of the children's lives is the most defining characteristic of domestic violence. Such a person seeks to own and possess the children and compels total submission. He demonstrates his controlling behavior by isolating the children from relatives, friends, and the community. He behaves so rudely and violently even with visitors that people stop coming to the home, ensuring that children receive no outside support and remain obedient to him. Restriction on movement was another form of control described by victims — children were tied and locked inside rooms to prevent escape. Abusers also tried to stop their children from communicating with others, even secretly recording telephone calls to monitor who the children spoke with (McGee, 2000). The following are controlling behaviors that were experienced by children raised in households of domestic violence:

Abusers feel empowered as long as they control money. They use tactics of economic abuse against the woman and the children. Children witnessing domestic violence see their fathers depriving their mothers of money. The abuser stops providing food, clothing, and other necessities that are the basic rights of his wife and children, ensuring that the woman has no financial means to seek help. Children who witness these situations are at heightened risk of becoming criminals, thieves, or burglars when they grow up, having experienced a poverty-stricken childhood (McGee, 2000).

It is an unfortunate reality that domestic violence is a problem rippling throughout our societies, crossing all lines pertaining to religion, community, economy, profession, and civilization. Innocent children are continuously targeted by abusers whose hunger for control and supremacy motivates them to subject children to aggressive and hostile behavior (Graves, 2002). Regrettably, children's safety and welfare are neglected by the community because parents are often considered the sole authorities over their offspring. Children who witness family violence keep it a secret and are afraid to tell others what they experience. What matters most is not when the violence starts, but that a child who opens his or her eyes in such a dreadful environment — where abuse is practiced as a daily ritual — is extremely and permanently affected (Underwood, 2006).

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Persistent behavioral problems, poor impulse control, emotional withdrawal, anger, drug abuse, running away, delinquent behavior, weakened self-esteem, fear of rejection and bodily harm, guilt, excessive need for adult attention, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are among the disturbing emotional effects that a child affected by domestic violence can endure. Children who have witnessed relentless and brutal domestic violence are most likely to develop PTSD symptoms. Research indicates that younger children are more prone to developing PTSD than older individuals who went through similar devastating experiences. Even small babies who have been exposed to family violence have shown various symptoms associated with PTSD. A traumatized child experiences a wide variety of overwhelming feelings and conditions, including apprehension, intimidation, pain, aggression, confusion, and emotional volatility. Brain development is disrupted as the child stops trusting the world and its people, perceiving the world as disordered, upsetting, erratic, brutal, and unreliable (Graves, 2002).

It has been established globally through observation and research that domestic violence has a negative and unconstructive impact on children. Reports show that nearly every child who witnessed and experienced family violence had a disturbed, stressed, and troubled emotional life, with negative effects persisting into adolescence. The child's life is profoundly shaped by the behavior of the father or father figure toward the mother. Violence and aggression toward the mother affect the child's psychology to the highest degree. The child's social relationships weaken; fear, helplessness, and dejection characterize his or her emotional state when treated poorly or when witnessing another family member being treated badly. Domestic violence not only affects the child's mental and psychological development but also hinders educational progress and physical growth (McGee, 2000).

Children who experience verbal abuse alone do not show as much mental distress. By contrast, younger children who experience both verbal and physical abuse — and who witness the same behavior directed at their mother — show far greater psychological impacts and inconsistencies. As more forms of violence are experienced by children, they face more difficulties in coping with life (McGee, 2000).

The end result of family violence and abusive behavior can be bodily injury, psychological damage, and in some cases even death. Small children are the most vulnerable to physical harm. Children subjected to incessant abuse experience various psychological burdens such as school absenteeism, anxiety, guilt, shame, and depression. Many develop suicidal tendencies. Many become delinquents, involving themselves in unlawful activities (Child Abuse, The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition, 2009). Children who observe violent and aggressive behavior in their families are at great risk of struggling to adjust to society as they grow up. They demonstrate antagonistic and belligerent conduct, and their personalities reflect symptoms of anxiety and depression. They do not know how to represent themselves appropriately in their communities (Jouriles, McDonald, Slep, Heyman & Garrido, 2008).

A commonly observed effect on children who witnessed family violence is anger. It is not surprising that a child would demonstrate aggressive behavior after witnessing continuous violent acts at home. Such a child becomes defiant, rebellious, and revengeful, sometimes seeking to take vengeance by physically assaulting the abuser. The patterns of aggressive behavior differ somewhat between boys and girls. Boys tend to show aggression particularly toward their mothers or other females. Girls, on the other hand, develop hatred toward men and boys. Girls who witness their fathers mutilating their mothers can carry a poisonous hatred of men for the rest of their lives, finding the image of a male figure intolerable. Such aggressive children need anger-management and assertiveness training so that their feelings of anger can be healthily expressed and released.

Sadness is another profound effect that can remain a permanent part of a child's personality long after the circumstances that caused it have ended. Family violence disturbs a child to the extent that sadness takes a permanent place in the mind and soul. Siblings fail to comfort and protect each other in situations of violence and fear, as each one is overwhelmed by sorrow. In extreme and unbearable scenarios, children commit suicide by cutting their wrists, throwing themselves from heights, or stepping in front of vehicles on a busy road (McGee, 2000).

Research has reported that fear is the most pervasive influence on the personalities of children raised in violent households. They are afraid of the abuser's violent behavior and uncertain about what his next action might be (McGee, 2000). This fear of the unknown makes them timid and faint-hearted. Both the mother and the children fail to support each other emotionally, as both parties are weakened by the unrelenting burden of terror. Children are especially afraid of the physical harm that the abuser might inflict on them. Watching their mothers physically assaulted on a daily basis reinforces in their minds the belief that they are the next targets. This constant fear makes them shaky, unsteady, and insecure. They begin to think that physical harm will lead to their deaths. Some abusers explicitly threaten to kill them, warping and destabilizing the children's minds. They fear losing their mothers. Nightmares and bed-wetting can also result from such circumstances. After growing up, aggression and behavioral problems can become permanent personality traits. Some children develop speech impediments or sleepwalk. Some run away from home to escape the abuser permanently, though most remain fearful that the abuser will find them and cause further harm (McGee, 2000).

When faced with the abuser, children find themselves powerless, incapable, and unprotected. They want to stop the violence but do not know how. This sense of powerlessness and incapacity deepens their depression and distress. They want to help and protect their mother but feel utterly unable to do so. This feeling of being unable to act gives rise to intense anger and fantasies about harming or killing the abuser. They feel guilty for being unable to provide safety for their mother. This situation is a genuine trauma for children. It is very important for a child to be able to share his or her feelings in order to find relief from the emotional burden.

Because of the abuser's violence and hostile behavior at home, children's educational progress is also severely affected. Their minds are preoccupied in the classroom with thoughts of what is happening at home — worrying about their mother or siblings, or dreading what will happen when they return from school. They fall asleep in class because the abuser deprives them of sleep at night. This lack of concentration results in a marked decline in academic performance. Some children exhibit aggression at school to the point where the institution refuses to keep them. Other children try to spend as much time at school as possible, treating it as a temporary refuge from home (McGee, 2000).

Children's health is seriously affected by domestic violence. Research shows that children who were targets of domestic violence experienced numerous health problems, including eating disorders, headaches, stomachaches, disrupted sleep, eczema, and asthma. Developmental delays have also been reported in some cases. Babies subjected to violence show feeding and speech problems (McGee, 2000).

Conclusion

Family violence in the home is a neglected problem. As responsible members of society, we must all observe and remain aware of what is happening in our neighborhoods and communities. Mostly, domestic violence occurs out of the public eye, but awareness of our environment is nonetheless essential. It is desirable for every one of us to educate ourselves to become better citizens and to foster better communities. We must take measures to raise awareness about the silent and concealed problem of domestic violence. Victims and targets of family violence need our constant support, as they are the unfortunate individuals who lead adverse lives if not assisted emotionally. It is imperative for society to acknowledge and understand the behavioral damage done to abused children. Furthermore, we must endeavor to extend a helping hand to violence-affected children to make them more confident and positive toward life (Davis, 1998).

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