Therapeutic Communication: Empathy, Warmth, and Genuineness

Introduction: Building the Therapeutic Alliance

To establish a therapeutic alliance with clients, a therapist must possess empathy, warmth, and genuineness, as France and Weikel point out. Petersen (2015) states that it starts with listening, which is a way of "providing safety, to understand, and to clarify" what the client is communicating in therapy (p. 107). Warmth is the characteristic that makes a person feel safe and secure and allows the person to feel that he can open up in therapy. Empathy is the ability to understand, and it is demonstrated by hearing, confirming, and affirming without judgment. Genuineness is the ability to come across as real, truthful, transparent, and trustworthy. One who seeks to build a therapeutic alliance must be able to foster trust with the client by being genuine and demonstrating personal accountability. Nothing fosters trust in a relationship like a demonstration of accountability and the maintenance of a code of ethics. When a client sees that a therapist is serious about his work, is professional in demeanor, and holds himself to a high standard, the client can believe that the therapist is genuinely concerned about the client's best interests.

The Role of Empathetic Listening

As Stewart (2012) points out, "you can't function very well as a mediator until you finally understand each person's point of view, and empathetic listening can help you build this understanding" (p. 194). Empathetic listening is really at the core of therapeutic communication. It may not seem so at first because it is so passive in appearance, and one tends to think of communication as active. However, empathetic listening is truly an activity that one must engage in: it requires full attention, a commitment to understanding, and the ability to follow along and hear what the other person is saying without judging that person or trying to do anything other than put yourself in that person's shoes. Empathetic listening is, in other words, not very easy. A person must give all of himself to be an empathetic listener, holding nothing back and allowing himself to see through the other person's eyes.

Warmth as Shelter and Safety

By maintaining a warm disposition, the therapist can demonstrate true friendliness and a supportive manner that makes the client feel safe when the time comes for opening up. Some clients may be guarded or hesitant to speak because they are put off by a perception of coldness, which can convey the sense that the therapist does not really care about the person. Coldness repels; warmth invites. A therapist who is warm and outgoing — who comes across to meet the client — is one who gives the feeling of shelter. The client feels that he can come in from the storm of his own life and find support in the therapist. That is why warmth is so important.

Conclusion: Listening as a Two-Way Street

Communication is important to developing a therapeutic alliance, and listening is a two-way street that I try to navigate carefully. I receive what is coming toward me from the other person, and in return I try to signal that I have received the message and am waiting for the other person to continue. I also try to show that I am not merely waiting but genuinely want to hear more. This helps the other person feel confident that he has chosen a good listener.

Petersen, J. (2015). Why don't we listen better? Portland, OR: Petersen Publications.

Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.