Identity and Role Confusion in College

Relationships and Identity

Social contexts, i.e., peers and one’s environment (think media impact) and one’s own personal experiences have a big effect on personal development. They all combine to work together to form a person’s identity at a time when identity is being formed (adolescence). The interaction between social norms, peer example, media, personal motivations, self-perception, and values can be seen in Tatum’s article about identity. The way people relate is examined by Thorpe and Kuperberg, who examine hook-up culture in college. Ultimately, the articles beg the question: What is motivating young people to act, to form relationships, to see themselves in a particular light? The argument of this reflection is that the prime motivation is a combination of social needs, expectations, and desires supported by a value system informed by sources ranging from peer groups to media.

Tatum (2000) holds the view that identity basically consists of layers, each layer informed by parts of the world in which one exists, the ideas and ideals one holds, the society, the history, the personal: it is like a big balloon not just filled with air but rather filled with everything. Identity can rise up like a hot air balloon and one can feel empowered by it—but one’s balloon might also be empty because one does feel like there is enough of one particular element to make it all make sense. This is well self-perception is important. Yet, as Tatum (2000) explains, self-perception depends upon perceiving how others perceive us. So it is never really a matter of a person simply sitting down and deciding for himself this is who or what I am. It is usually a combination of that and then a process of getting feedback. The personal self decides an identity based on all the inputs—media, peer groups, family, beliefs, value system, ideals, practicalities, and so on. Then the personal self goes to the public self and elicits feedback from others due to the social nature of identity. That feedback will inform the process of refining the self. As Erikson showed in his model of psychosocial development, this process of identity formation is conducted during adolescence and is linked to knowing one’s role in the world.

That is likely why Thorpe and Kuperberg\\\\\\\'s (2021) study on the motivations behind college hookups is so interesting. These are young people going through the process of identity formation, and it is a social process on one level. They are entering into hook-up culture to enjoy life but this pursuit is also informing their identity, and it can be at odds with personal or historical values and ideals. There may be tension here between the public and personal self. The college self and the college experience are another dimension of this hook-up practice, however. People may be compartmentalizing their lives into mini-identities, embracing an identity for a period of time in a certain place, and then moving on to a different identity when that one is no longer viable in connection to personal or professional goals.