Counseling Multicultural Families Through Divorce: A Reflective Guide

Counselor Self-Awareness and Cultural Background

When counseling a family that wants discipline strategies for a child's behavior and needs help addressing declining academic performance during a divorce, it is important for me as a counselor to know who I am and where I am coming from. As Hays (2020) notes, if a counselor is ignorant of self, it limits the extent to which that counselor can be fully open to others. For that reason, I want to acknowledge that I am a person of Colombian/Hispanic/South American descent and culture. I identify as female, non-disabled, educated, middle class, and heterosexual. I come from a strong Latin culture that emphasizes traditional values and family cohesion. In my culture, children are welcome and wanted, and they are seen as a great blessing. This contrasts sharply with much of modern American life, where large families are often considered old-fashioned; in my culture, however, we embrace that perspective.

My background influences my approach to the counseling process in both positive and negative ways. On the positive side, Latin culture is warm, inviting, and inclusive. We enjoy celebrating other cultures and are always open and receptive to others. We do not try to ostracize or make others feel marginalized for being different. A large part of this openness comes from the fact that Latin culture has seen its share of upheaval, particularly in South America, where many revolutions have occurred in recent history (Fernández & Ocampo, 1974). By embracing this aspect of my Latin heritage, I believe I can more easily connect with people from diverse backgrounds and look forward to learning more about them.

Another positive influence is that as a Latin woman who grew up in the United States, I was taught humility and respect for people of all genders and races. This upbringing has given me the capacity for acceptance and empathy toward minorities and marginalized communities. Because Latin people in the United States are themselves a minority, I have a meaningful sense of what others outside the majority may be experiencing.

One potential negative influence is that my Latin culture promotes marriage, family unity, and children as essential parts of adult life. Latin adults teach younger generations that goals such as marriage and having children are important milestones. This could become a bias in my counseling if I work with a client who does not want to marry or have children. To address this, I have adjusted my own outlook and no longer believe that everyone must pursue marriage or parenthood to fulfill their life's purpose. I have observed that people in America hold many different views unique to their own experience, and it is not my role to impose the values of my Latin culture on them. Rather, I must understand their values and work within the framework that gives meaning to their lives. In this particular case, the family is going through a divorce, so it is especially important that I not judge them for that decision, even though it conflicts with my personal values around family. This is about the client's struggles and goals. Their values are what matter here—not my own.

Personal Values, Privilege, and Experiences of Oppression

In terms of biases that I might bring to the counseling setting, one potential concern involves linguistic interpretation. I am aware of the language barrier when working with different cultures, but beyond language, worldviews and how people interpret words and ideas can vary considerably from person to person. To address this, it is important to obtain feedback, to paraphrase what the other person has said, and to reflect it back so that both parties can confirm they are on the same page. In counseling this family, I must ensure that we are interpreting words the same way so that no confusion or unintended gaps emerge between us.

My personal values are family-oriented: I see togetherness and compassion as integral to my well-being. At the same time, I value independence and diversity. For this reason, I strive to be compassionate and fair to all people—especially those whose families are going through a significant change such as divorce.

Regarding privilege, I grew up in a middle-class family in the United States where all my basic needs were met. I had access to a good school, transportation, food, and shelter. I understand that not everyone has had such a stable upbringing, and this awareness allows me to check my privilege and refrain from judging those who may be struggling because they did not have these support systems in place. As Maslow (1948) illustrates in his hierarchy of needs and human motivation theory, it is important that people's most basic needs—such as shelter, safety, and love—be met before they can become self-actualizing. It would therefore be helpful in this case to ensure that all members of the family are having these foundational needs satisfied.

Oppression is another crucial element to consider, as it affects everyone regardless of background. My own experiences of oppression stem from working as a Latin woman in a home improvement company led predominantly by men. I was denied appropriate training and had to learn the company's systems on my own; my manager ignored and marginalized me, conducting one-on-ones and professional development activities with others while leaving me behind. This experience has reinforced in me how important it is to make everyone feel welcome and to treat all people in the same inclusive manner.

Impact of Counselor Characteristics on the Counseling Process

Understanding how my personal characteristics influence the counseling process is crucial because clients receive counseling from me and I must be a source of positivity and hope. The first major impact is that my genuine empathy toward people strengthens the client–counselor relationship. Clark (2010) states that empathy is an integral part of counseling because it binds the client and counselor together and helps build the bridge of trust that is so necessary for effective counseling. I therefore regard empathy as one of my most valuable characteristics in producing a positive counseling outcome.

The second impact is that my positive attitude toward life, people, and situations enables me to seek the best from clients without harboring misconceptions. As a counselor, it is important to maintain a positive attitude with the client and the counseling process, regardless of whatever negative energy the client may be experiencing due to a specific situation (Moharrami Qidary, Khooshehchin & Dadadshi, 2020). The aim is to be a source of hope and support so that the client can develop a more positive outlook and return to life with an improved sense of how to address their challenges.

The third impact is that my willingness to consider other people's ideas, beliefs, cultures, and values can assist in developing the understanding and supportiveness that clients need from their counselor. This open-mindedness keeps me receptive to people of different backgrounds and cultures, which in turn helps me understand the goals they seek to achieve.

References

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