Living With Eczema Personal Journey Resilience

Personal Statement: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

I knew it wasn’t normal. But I couldn’t help myself. It was a vicious cycle. At first, the itching was relief for my dry, painful, flaking skin. I would itch and itch, digging at my arms and legs. During the school day, there was a limit to how much I could scratch, but at home, especially at night, there was nothing to stop me. I would tear at my fingers with my nails until I bled. One winter night, my skin on fire, my parents took me to the intensive care unit. Finally, at ten years old, I had an answer. The doctors gave me a clear diagnosis: eczema.

My condition now had a name, specifically, atopic dermatitis. At first, the medications prescribed by my doctor seemed to help me. I went back to a nearly normal life. But gradually, my body responded less and less well to the treatment. The eczema even affected my performance in school. I had to spend far more time completing my school projects because I was so distracted by my severe skin irritation. My self-consciousness about my appearance, my constant physical pain, and my lower grades all conspired to eat away at my self-confidence and lowered my self-esteem.

After a long period of denial, I gradually grew resigned to the chronic nature of my condition. I searched online, wanting to learn more about it. I even Googled “panacea” to find a remedy. That is often the way I cope with stress. I seek more knowledge about the thing that gives me anxiety, and this helps me look at the situation more rationally. But I found my greatest comfort in fiction. Panacea, a fantasy book by F. Paul Wilson, enabled me to find a personal hero in the character of Laura Fanning. Fanning is tireless in her search for answers, and like Fanning, I persevered, although there were not so many thrills and less suspense in my journey, versus her quest for Ikhar, an ancient balm.

Despite my mother’s insistence I needed my sleep, and I was upsetting myself, I would stay up late, sometimes until dawn, immersed in reading a plethora of articles on eczema, and personal stories from those who were suffering from it. Just like my itching sometimes made me lose track of time, so did my reading and research. Not only did these challenging, thought-provoking articles expand my vocabulary as an eleven-year-old, but they also enabled me to learn how meaningful it is to engage with others going through similar experiences.

By reading shared stories in online communities, I realized I was not alone or an anomaly. These other mutual sufferers were also locked in a seemingly endless struggle, I able to pluck up my courage to fight back. Regulating my diet and heeding accepted medical advice, I gradually rebuilt my confidence and found I could cope and live with my chronic illness. The more I learned, the more normally I could live, even though what I was experiencing was not normal.