¶ … suffer is to live. Suffering makes up a large part of a person's life. In Nicholas Wolterstorff's Lament of a Son, a collection of quotes and anecdotes related to the author's experience with the premature loss of Eric, his son, the author provides a way of dealing with loss that is both inspiring and personal. What turned into a tragic mountain climbing accident, a father's journey to accepting a tragic loss turns into a voice for those mourning. Mourning is a common occurrence for the living. People die every day and Kubler-Ross' five stages of grief outlines the process of mourning as well as helps give a better understanding of Wolterstorff's development after he lost his son. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, preparatory grieving or depression, and acceptance. The first stage denial, is seen in how people are supposed to act after learning of Eric's passing. However, when Wolterstorff first hears the news of Eric's passing at 3:30 in the afternoon, that was when he experienced denial. The man on the phone had to tell him several times before he could grasp that Eric had passed.

It was as though the loss just seemed too much to bear at that time as noted with his continued recollection of his son. "He was a gift to us for twenty-five years. When the gift was finally snatched away, I realized how great it was. Then I could not tell him" (Wolterstorff, 1987, p. 13). However, there is still some sense of hope left in him amidst the suffering. Later on he recalls objecting to the snuffing of the resurrection candle during his son's funeral. This act can be seen in the sense of bargaining. He wants to keep the hope of being with his son one day so he prevents the candle from being extinguished.
Depression, the fourth stage, can be seen with Wolterstorff having dreams of being in a battlefield, finding mild solace reading books, and grieving alone, knowing his suffering is unique as is all suffering. However, in time he did begin to reach the fifth stage, acceptance, and in doing so began to find joy. It began with Wolterstorff realizing what Jesus meant as described in the New Testament and as he detailed in the story. "Not only is there a new day of peace coming. To those who mourn the absence of that is disclosed already the heart of God. Upon entering the company of the suffering, they discern the anguish of God" (Wolterstorff, 1987, p. 88). In seeing that God is suffering and eventually he will be able to be with Eric, he finds joy…