Personal Autobiography: Childhood, Growth & Future Goals

Introduction

In this paper, I describe my life and how my experiences have shaped the person I am today, how they have influenced my dreams, and what I intend to do in the future. I explore my childhood and how the difficulties I encountered during that time have helped shape the woman I am today — a mother, a wife, and a student working toward admission into a respiratory therapist program. Generally, I have worked hard to put a difficult childhood behind me, which is why I must acknowledge that this autobiographical paper was very challenging to write. I do not like to reflect on how my childhood has impacted who I am.

While I am generally self-confident, I recognize that the things I like least about myself are those that remind me of my father. Although this paper was difficult to write, I believe it has served its purpose and provided insight into my own social background. If I do not understand that background, I do not think it is possible for me to bring genuine understanding to future clients.

Personal Description and Family Background

I am a 37-year-old woman, happily married with four children: a 19-year-old son, a 12-year-old daughter, and 5-year-old twin daughters. My husband and I are currently living apart while he works as an instructor in Afghanistan, which has placed me in the role of a single mother. This has proven challenging, particularly because I am simultaneously pursuing my own education. We live in a normal middle-class household, though my husband's absence has required me to prioritize carefully, which means not all chores are always done and the house can be messier than we would like. Despite these daily challenges, I am very happy in my current life.

Even though I faced difficulties in my childhood, I feel as though everything in my life has brought me to where I am today. Because I am happy with where I am, I would not change anything about my prior experience — even the negatives. I think this ability to acknowledge that even negative experiences can become positive learning opportunities is one of the reasons I am an optimistic person.

My current middle-class existence is significantly different from my childhood. I was the oldest of three siblings — my sister is 32 and my brother is 28. We were raised in a wealthy, dual-parent household in a large city home. While both parents were present, we were primarily raised by a nanny. She was a loving caregiver, and I believe I regarded her as more of a maternal figure than my own mother. I had great affection for her, and she still occupies a very important place in my heart.

Much of my affection for my nanny stemmed from the stark contrast she provided to my parents. My mother was not very affectionate. Looking back, I believe she was frightened of my father and that her fear dictated much of her behavior, but as a child I simply experienced her lack of warmth as coldness. My father, by contrast, was not cold — he was a hot-tempered alcoholic. He was verbally abusive to every member of the household, constantly insulting us and treating us poorly. His abuse was not limited to words; he struck us frequently as well. Yet maintaining the family's social image was paramount, and we were all expected to keep his abuse secret. It was an extremely stressful childhood.

What is ironic is that, because I do not equate abuse with discipline, I would characterize that household as fundamentally undisciplined. My nanny tried to instill in us a sense of right and wrong and teach us how to behave appropriately, but my parents were so consumed by their own personal drama that they generally failed to impart any moral goals or guidelines to their children. Child abuse and neglect, as public health researchers have documented, consistently disrupts the moral and emotional development that healthy family environments would otherwise provide.

Personal Experiences and Sibling Relationships

I had a strained relationship with my father because of his abuse, and I also felt resentment toward my mother because I believed she failed to adequately protect us from him. However, I had a very good relationship with both of my siblings. As the oldest child, I felt largely responsible for their safety and well-being, and I tried to protect them as best I could. I would try to attract my father's attention when it was clear that an outburst was coming, so that he would target me rather than them. At times this strategy worked, but not always — and some of my most painful memories from childhood are of watching him abuse my siblings while being helpless to stop it.

To this day, I maintain close relationships with my brother and sister. Together, we have formed the cohesive and loving family that we did not have when we were children. My father did encourage his children to participate in sports, and despite the competitive pressure he applied, I genuinely loved athletic activity. I was involved in karate, track, and softball, and I performed well in all three. I found that sports gave me a space where I could be in control of my body without fear — and they also took me away from my family. I tried to involve my younger siblings in sports as well, though our age differences made it difficult for us to compete together.

The best way to describe my academic experience is that it was conflicted. I was very excited when I began school and truly relished learning. I remember feeling nothing but excitement — and a little nervousness — on my first day. I had a wonderful relationship with my first teacher and worked very hard to please her. I excelled as a student in my early years and found school relatively easy.

Academic History and the Impact of Childhood Abuse

However, my troubles at home bled into my school life, as childhood abuse frequently does. I began to be belligerent toward other students. While I remained respectful to teachers, I fell into constant fights. Before long, I was no longer considered an asset in the classroom. As one might expect, this eventually led to a significant decline in my grades — which, in turn, exacerbated the already tense situation at home.

Margaret DiCanio describes the relationship between child abuse and poor academic performance in this way: "Bad grades remind parents of their anxieties about their own social status and their children's prospects in the future. Poor parents envision school as a route to escape impoverished lives. Middle-class parents push their children to surpass their own accomplishments. Wealthy, well-educated parents routinely expect first-class performance from their children" (DiCanio, 2004, p. 46). My family was upper-middle-class, and I was pushed to surpass my parents' accomplishments. Because those accomplishments were significant, anything less than perfect performance was met with tremendous anger at home. It was profoundly cyclic behavior: my school performance declined as my anger toward my parents grew.

In all honesty, I must admit that I am still developing as a human being — perhaps in a more dynamic way than most people in my age group. I do link this somewhat delayed development to my childhood. According to Deaux and Snyder, "With respect to self, the focus on self-construal reflects and reproduces the tendency in psychology to locate the source of action and experience in internal essences that crystallize during early childhood, persist throughout the lifespan, and direct experience as a trait-like structure that one can measure with an individual difference variable" (2012, p. 187). In my early childhood, I had no example of anger management and was taught — implicitly — that explosive outbursts were an acceptable way to deal with emotions, particularly toward the people we are supposed to care for most.

Conclusion

Deaux, K., & Snyder, M. (2012). The Oxford handbook of personality and social psychology. Oxford University Press.

DiCanio, M. (2004). Encyclopedia of violence: Frequent, commonplace, unexpected. Mystery Writers of America.

Kail, R., & Cavanaugh, J. (2012). Human development: A life-span view (5th ed.). Wadsworth.