Developmental Counseling Three of the women looked back and said they married too young. Once you are married you're not yourself anymore. "Sue was 24 when she got married…when you get married young you must miss that crucial stage…" ("Autonomy, social identity, social network…") applies here. The moment you get married you're "…no longer yourself," she said. That relates to the issues surrounding the concept of "social identity…"

When she was 25, Sue was divorced, which again changed her social identity (from a married woman in a partnership, to a "divorced women" which carries with it a bit of a stigma in some societies).

Sue said the "primary reason" she got married was to have a child. "The two went together," she said. But once divorced, it was a struggle to raise two children… this relates to "Successful development, temperament, life task and live course changes…" because she said she was sometimes "scared" when something challenging happened and she had to deal with it as a single mother. Also a shortage of money prevented her from doing some of the things she wanted to do.

Sue went from part time work to a job at the University of London; it was in that job that she really developed as a professional. She became a leader in a university program. She stands in front of a group of students and is comfortable speaking and lecturing; she sings in front of a group too. She has changed and grown. ("Successful development…life task and course changes.).

Paul: Paul as a 7-year-old didn't want to get married. Much later in life he does get married to Sue, he and his wife still love to cuddle and be sweet sensually to each other. This relates to "Adult attachment, work and the development of self-concept," because what a person thinks when he is young will likely not hold true when he is older. Paul had struggled with a lack of confidence, uncertainty about his life and his station in life. He ended up working in factories and doing home maintenance for customers. But Paul and his wife had children and one daughter was the first to attend university in several generations. So their daughter had gone through "Physical and cognitive development in young adulthood (18-30)." The joy of being grandparents is part of the joy of living for Paul and Sue.

Neil: Neil, meanwhile, dreamed of going...

He was homeless at 28, wandering around Scotland. He had "life course changes" and was "out of work" with incomplete "social development" -- and yet at 49 he was an elected representative (liberal) on a local council. That is a "successful development" and a "life task and life course changes" for the benefit of the community. Pulling himself up by the bootstraps is by way of changing his "social identity" and abandoning "antisocial patterns." His social identity shows emergence as a spiritual leader, which clearly is part of his "development of self-concept" and has found enjoyment in the political world as well. Very interesting that as a child Neil said he didn't want to have any children.
Peter gets into music -- and the music of Graham Parsons was the music he was "…waiting to hear," and through the creation of music he meets the woman he falls in love with. "Love, Work, Friendship, Meaning…" is a good description of Peter in adulthood with his music and his love. Their son and daughter are doing "remarkably well," and their music became reasonably commercially successful. The "work" because a labor of love -- music.

Jackie: Jackie got married early and by 35 she was divorced. She met another man and had children with that person but they split up too. But Jackie's mother was a huge help with the boys she was raising. "She is always there when I need her," Jackie said. In her family, notwithstanding the separation from male companions, she experiences "Love, Work, Friendship, Meaning…resilience and forgiveness." Jackie says for every good day she has there might be 10 bad ones. She has resilience to get through these trials. As a little girl she said she wanted to grow up in a "happy family," which is a bit sad in hindsight.

Suzy: Sent off to a boarding school when her parents were breaking up, she was struggling with her social identity. And…