However, if I was rewriting my letter to Melfi, I would have used more research and included some specific citations, to substantiate my analysis. Drawing upon personal reflection is useful in appealing to the reader's sense of ethos or pathos, but logos is also necessary to be persuasive. I would have used statistics regarding the alcoholism rate amongst young people in the United States, for example, versus other countries. Although I criticized Melfi for not using sufficient logos in her essay, I think this is also true of my response.
Fortunately, I believe I have drastically improved in my ability to find credible and substantive analysis to support my argumentation. In my first draft on drug and alcohol policy at Drexel, I once again relied primarily upon my own personal impressions and gut instincts, rather than drawing upon research on the issue. I believe that I made a good point regarding the fact that alcohol abuse can be just as serious as drug abuse, and simply because our society does not take alcohol abuse as seriously does not mean that it cannot have the same biological and social effects as drug abuse (Drin 2). But much of my analysis was very emotional,...
I did point out that underage alcohol abuse is illegal and some of the physical consequences of addiction, but it would have been more persuasive if I could have cited actual facts and figures. I could have presented statistical evidence (logos) and followed them with specific examples (ethos and pathos).
I tried to rectify this problem in my letter to Drexel University's Public Safety Department, in which I was much more mindful about using specific evidence about the dangers of adolescent drug abuse, including the health consequences of using drugs and alcohol and also the risks of having non-consensual sex for teens. The paper also illustrated to me the importance of having a clear audience in mind when I was writing, since the paper was specifically supposed to persuade the Public Safety Department to take a more proactive role in fighting drug and alcohol abuse on campus. I had to be organized and to frame my
argument as part of a letter, and include evidence that was concise, made an impact, and naturally flowed as an extension of my written analysis.
I have become a more mindful writer as a result of this course. I am more careful in terms of the persuasive strategies that I use, and I try to use a variety of strategies, rather than relying upon one or two. I am more specific in terms of the evidence that I cite, and I am able to construct an argument that is based upon more than my personal 'gut' feelings. Although these 'gut' feelings are important, they are only a starting-point for creating an effective essay, not an end point. I feel more confident as a writer, too, and know how to revise an essay to make it better, even if the first draft is not as strong as I would initially have hoped.
Works Cited
Drin, Cem. "Campaign." ENG-102. Professor Fristrom. English Department. Drexel University.
February 26, 2013. Print.
Drin, Cem. "Dear Christa Melfi." ENG-102. Professor Fristrom. English Department. Drexel University. January 30, 2013. Print.
Drin, Cem. "Drug and alcohol policy at Drexel." ENG-102. Professor Fristrom. English Department. Drexel University. February 21, 2013. Print.
Drin, Cem. "Letter to Drexel University's Public Safety Department." ENG-102. Professor
Fristrom. English Department. Drexel University. March 19, 2013. Print.
